19/11/2019 - Tuesday- At T Nagar.

Shiva's P. O. V:

" I haven't seen a bigger idiot than you! " Karthik said.

" Yeah, you are " Hari joined him.

The interns pretended to work and not look at me, but they were smiling with their heads down.

" Don't you guys have some other work to do? This is office time! Why are you shouting at me? " I asked them.

" That girl deserved a better answer from you. She damned cancelled her trip and accepted to be here. Trust me, no girl would ever do that. " Karthik said.

" I know that she deserves better! " I said.

" How can you be so ignorant? Really, do you really see her in anni image? " Hari asked.

" No, bloody I don't. The minute she told the truth, the image was long gone. She suddenly became the girl I met on that hostel. " I said stuttering.

" Then what's the issue? This is your last chance at having something close to real dating in your life. And that girl, chose you " Hari said.

" That's the problem Hari! The things she did for me! , she choosing me is not something good for either of us! " I said.

" This is confusing , do you like Anjali? " Hari asked .

" No, I don't " I said.

" What is your fucking problem with Aparna? " Karthik asked.

" I can't give her hopes! That's my problem! " I said and placed my head over my palm.

Hari and karthik sat down near me.

" What are you saying? " Hari asked.

" Playing with someone's feelings is not the right thing. And especially not hers. The truth is I can't break my engagement at any cost! My family will be much more broken. I would cause more damage than my brother. " I said.

" But you can't decide for her " Karthik said.

" But I can make her get out of whatever ideas she had. This is the best thing for her. I am not the right choice. Even if I had hurt her yesterday, it was necessary. The only way she would give up was if I tell her that I can't break her image as my sister in law! That's was my only choice! " I said.

" So, giving her hopes of something bigger is the problem? " Hari asked.

" I don't want to disappoint her. Me agreeing to go out with her, to even try something, might have a bigger impact on her than me.

It is a sin for me if I do something like that with her, even after knowing that I won't break my engagement. Aparna is a person, not something without emotions. "I said.

" You really wanted to have a chance with her. You were running after her. What happened to your wish? " Hari asked.

" Dead maybe. " I said. I can't tell them that I do something to break something, two people have blackmailed me of suicide. I can't do anything than this.

Hari hugged me and I side hugged him.

I did want to go out with Aparna, until I saw the message from Anjali that night.

I talked with Rajiv about Aparna and cut the call. Anjali had been trying to call me. She sent messages instead .

" At 11 o clock in the night, who are you taking to?, I hope it's not a girl. "

I rolled my eyes and looked back at the phone. I wasn't in the mood of texting her back. She sent a reply again.

" Shiva, I am scared. I have this feeling that our engagement will not happen. I don't know what I will do.

Last time when your brother ran away, I drank a bottle of pesticides to kill myself. But they saved me somehow. " She sent.

I placed the phone on the table and looked at the message in disbelief. She wasn't kidding me about the suicide last time. Her next message came.

" This time, if you do something, I will definitely find a way that nobody can save me. I can't handle the disappointment again. " She texted.

I switched off my phone and was about to spiral back into the tragedy loop again.

What am I going to do?, if I do something, both my Amma and Anjali will make sure that I won't live my future in peace.

I cried myself to sleep that night.

Next day I talked with Hari in the morning and that's when I knew that, I wasn't the only one going to be affected by this, the " Chance " that I had regretted for the past two years will shatter Aparna's heart too.

The person I was day I told her my regret of not being able to be with her and the person I am now are very different. Then, I didn't have a suicide threat from anyone. Now, I am done.

Should I tell her that I was not brave enough to try? That I was not brave enough to risk disappointing my parents? Should I tell her that I don't want to give a fake promise to her?

She won't listen, her free spirited nature will push her to try again. And If she tried one more time, all my wall would break and I would definitely run after her again.

Hurting her was necessary. I thought to myself.

I wasn't even courageous to stop her. Only I knew the pain I went through. The ten metres she walked away from her, felt like miles together. Gone is gone.

It was nearly evening and Karthik left early.

I was packing my bag when Hari caught my hand. All the disappointment he had in his face in the morning was gone.

" Come with me, we are eating out " Hari said.

" What? " I asked.

" Yeah, your parents are not yet home. It will be a break " He said.

" Okay " I said and followed him.

Hari sat on my bike and started telling directions to the restaurant.

On the way, suddenly I started to recognize the path. It was the same route we took to copper kitchen that day.

He asked me to stop exactly before the same restaurant. I glared at him.

" Are you nuts! I am not coming here! " I shouted.

" Shwetha is here dude. Come. The food is great though. Last time we missed it. " Hari said and dragged me in.

Shwetha was waiting for us on a four seater table. She waved at us as soon as she saw us.

I internally groaned and walked to the table. So many memories were gushing in, the taste of disappointment that I faced here, still felt the same.

We sat down and the waiter came.

" We would order after another person comes " Shwetha said. And the waiter left.

I looked her confused.

She and Hari were speaking in their sign language. I opened my phone and started playing games.

" Finally, there she is! " Shwetha said.

I turned back to look at who was coming.

The girl who was walking towards us, was the biggest shock I had on my entire life. My phone slipped from my hand and fell down. I cared less about it because I was sure I was hallucinating.

Her hair was till her waist length, cut into waves, and framing her figure. She wore a blue colored off shoulder top with black jeans and high heels.

Her face had slight blush and perfect shade of lipstick. I have never seen any girl with such perfect makeup.

Her eyes, damn, they were the same. Except they were looking stunning.

She hugged shwetha and shook hands with Hari. I was sitting on the chair frozen.

The ring she wore on her ear was shaking with her movement as she laughed at something.

My ears had a loud " Boiiiiiiiiiiiiinnnnnngggggggg" Sound running inside them.

I had nearly always seen her with a cotton saree perfectly pleated and her hair plaited. Is this even the same girl?

I shook my head and looked at her again.

She sat near me and picked up my phone from my ground.

Her nails were painted with the same blue as her top.

She moved her hand before my eyes and that's when I woke up.

I blinked at her twice and got back my phone smiling at her.

Then she started to talk with Hari and Shwetha. She was so animated, the only problem was I wasn't hearing anything.

I was back in the bus stop where I left her.

The urge I had to run to her and stop her from going. How much I wanted to do that. The pain I felt when I let the girl of my dreams walk away, it was so much.

Maybe her leaving me only made me think of her lot and miss her, made me realise something more that , I wasn't ever going to get rid of my wanting for her. I was cursed and she now made sure I knew it.

She damn came back again. This is unbelievable. But this meeting should have been the plan of Hari. Tomorrow I'll see to him.

We ordered something and ate. I ate for the sake of it. I was shaking the full time.

After we ate, we walked out of the restaurant.

" I have some work outside, Shwetha is coming with me. Drop Aparna in her home " Hari said.

" Actually, I am " I opened my mouth to say no.

But Aparna cut in.

" No worries, I'll book a cab " She said.

" Shiva, we can't let our guest go alone" Hari told me.

" I'll drop you " I finally said.

She smiled at me and sat on my bike. Hari winked at me as I started the bike. I gave him a middle finger and drove out of the restaurant.

One of her hands were over my shoulder, while she was holding the bike with her other hand. I saw her eyes brimming with tears through the rear view mirror. I wished I wasn't the reason behind them. But I knew I was.

Suddenly it started to rain and I parked my bike near an empty bus shed.

We ran under it and looked at each other awkwardly. Her hair was slightly wet from the rain, the droplets were sticking to her face too.

" Hi! " She finally said.

I looked at her and smiled.

" I am Aparna " She said holding out her hand.

" I am shiva " I said shaking her hand, if she can play this game, I can too.

" So what do you do? Do you work with Hari? " She asked.

" Yes. And you? " I asked.

" I am an Architect ,used to work in Bangalore. Looking for a new job now " She said.

I didn't know that her job was gone. Were we even living in the same house for the past two weeks?

" That's great. Have we met before?" I asked playfully.

" Yeah we did! In my hostel! " She said. Yeah, right.

" What were you doing in Chennai then? " I asked.

" Internship. " She said.

"Oh wow. So, how is your Sister? " I asked.

" Well, she is in Bangalore. Currently in her home with her husband" She said laughing.

" Good good " I said looking down.

" Can I ask you something? " She asked.

My hear beat was raising that I can hear it in my ears.

" What? " I asked.

" I like you. " She said.

I just stared at her without looking away. Her big eyes were looking straight into my soul. Her nose slightly red. And her lips shivering.

" Will you go out with me, tomorrow? " She asked.

I turned my head and looked at the ground again.

"Will you be okay with No strings attached kinda thing? " She asked.

I was shocked from her words and looked back at her.

" No feelings! No bruises! " She said rasing her hands in defense.

I just wanted to hug her then. But I restrained myself. Hari should have told her my fears, but still she was here.

She damn tore off her cover. She came again, for me.

She was inches away from me, waiting for my answer, ready to break her heart for this one chance that I asked for.

What should I tell her?