18/11/2019 - Monday -At Tambaram.

Aparna's P. O. V :

Have I done the right thing?

I shouldn't have acted on my nerves! , I even forgot that I had to stay in this house for the next week and have to face him.

This was the first time, I took a decision not thinking about anybody else, neither Shiva or his family's interests. I did it just because I wanted to.

It was selfish of me, but I felt as though Shiva deserved to know.

The time was 5 in the morning.

I hadn't slept for even a minute.

I decided to go for a walk in the terrace and then try sleeping again . Shiva's parents haven't come home yet. They'll be here soon though.

As I walked upstairs to the terrace, I heard someone talking. It was Shiva, he was on his phone.

I silently walked up and tried eavesdropping.

" I can't believe! " He was talking excited.

" I had this intuition all along but I was feeling weird. But you are right. I should do something. This can't go on. All of this feels so wrong." He said.

I took a step and hid behind the door.

He became silent. I waited few minutes, but still, nothing.

Suddenly the door sprang open, and Shiva was staring at me.

" I thought it was some thief! " He said looking at me.

I gave a fake smile to hide my embarrassment.

I walked out of the door and was looking at everywhere except him.

" We still have something to clear off " He said.

Oh my god, save me. He is at it again.

" Straight to the point, I have always seen you as my sister in law! " He said with a disappointed face.

I didn't expect this twist! I thought he was into Aparna more than the respect he had for Prerna.

" I am sorry, I know, you are not. But still, it makes me feel weird. It is hard for me to break out of the image. " He said.

I turned back, not knowing what to say.

" You know that I am half way married to someone. Though I don't like it, it's the truth. Trust me, I wanted a chance. I told you. But I don't think it is possible. " He said.

My eyes were brimming with tears. I still wasn't looking at his face.

" That's it? " I asked.

" I still want a chance, a date. To go for a long drive, movie, and eat out. I do. I really did yesterday. When I thought about it, i couldn't even imagine it.

It will be awkward for me. I did like Aparna, but when I look at you, all I see now is Prerna. Call me an idiot.

I need time to break out of this. That's what we don't have. Time to do anything. My parents will be here in two hours. With them here, whatever I hoped for seems senseless now.

This time next week, we all will be in Theni, getting ready for my engagement. You were late. I was late. It's over. " He said. His voice was shaking.

I ran to my room, without giving a single glance at him.

I shut the door, took my phone and called Prerna.

" Hey, are you okay? , Rajiv told that you cancelled the bus. " She said.

" I am coming back today. I am going to book the ticket now. " I said and sat on my bed.

" Are you okay? " She asked.

" No! " I said.

" Okay, why? " She asked.

" How do I tell you! " I said.

" Tell me that you are having feelings for that Shiva boy " She said.

" Yeah, wait, what, how " I was stuttering. She was laughing on the other side.

" You thought I didn't notice the new friend you got in fb, huh! , I got a notification for the post that he liked in your account. Now, tell me! " She said.

" Are you really that much bored? I thought you were busy with that complaint file. " I asked.

" Get to the truth! " She said.

" Yeah! I did. It's not like I was hoping for something big. " I said.

" What happened? " She asked.

" I thought he wanted to go for a date with me or something . So I thought he would be happy if I told the truth to him and maybe go out with him for a day. " I said.

" So, you are telling me, you wanted to go out with him, that's why you cancelled the ticket? " She said laughing.

" Take it anyway you want. The problem is now he is telling me that he can't see me in that way now, because he sees me as you and it is awkward for him! " I told quickly without taking a breath.

" I get it! I get it! So? " She asked.

" That means, whatever he wanted or I wanted cannot happen. " I said.

" Cannot happen only if you stay there as me " She said.

" I don't understand " I said confused.

" What if we break the image first? And then you meet him as you?" She said.

" But I am here na! " I said.

" Yeah, Prerna is coming back to Bangalore tonight. Aparna is going there tomorrow. " She said.

It finally clicked on my mind,what she was trying to say.

" But, what if he still gets stuck with his sister in law image? " I asked.

" Then, it's his wish. He is the one at loss. Aparna will also come back, right? " She said.

" I took a chance already, what if I fail again? " I said.

" If you really want to, try again. It's your decision. But please come back soon, that complaint is dragging too long. Only if you were here, you would have shut their mouths. " She said.

" I wish the same. " I said.

" Take your time. Think and let me know. " She said and we ended the call.

I was sitting there biting my nails. Is this boy even worth the time I am wasting on him?

Fuck, I am so into him. I need to unfuck myself. He kept on telling me about his regret and his regret liked me better it seems, now I am the one feeling everything. He doesn't even bother.

Does he deserve a second chance? The chances of failure are still high. What should I do?

I heard the door bell, it must be Rajiv' s parents. I informed them about the bus ticket . They still wanted me here till Shiva's engagement.

I opened the door and found a huge pile of books and papers outside Shiva's room. The notebook that I read was also on the pile.

I walked downstairs and everyone were in the living room.

Shiva was all dressed up, he must be going to his office. He was looking depressed, effects of the engagement, I thought to myself.

" Prerna, are you okay? " Shiva's mom asked.

"Yeah Aunty! I am " I said.

" Uff, we didn't expect to get stuck in rain. Now we haven't invited many important people yet. We should get going and finish the list in two days. " She said and uncle nodded at her.

" What about your bus? Are you staying back? " Aunty asked me.

" No, actually I am going tonight Aunty, I have booked the tickets already." I said and Shiva looked at me shocked.

" Is it very urgent? " Uncle asked me.

" Yes Uncle. I should have been there today. The bus is at 7 in the evening." I said.

" Okay then, Shiva will drop you off tonight. We don't think we would be here. I hope you are comfortable with that. " Aunty said.

I looked at him immediately and Shiva was staring at me, something about him seemed off.

" Take proper care while dropping her off. " Uncle said to Shiva.

Shiva looked down and walked upstairs crossing me . After few minutes he brought the pile of books and papers downstairs.

" Finally, someone decided to clean the old books that was saved for 5 years. Throw it in old books shop on the way. " Aunty said.

" Yes, I will. " Shiva said and walked out with the pile.

I was staring at his back, as he went and started his bike. My eyes were on that one notebook. He looked at me staring at the notebook.

I turned back breaking away from his gaze.

I walked upstairs to my room after giving a final goodbye to Shiva's parents. They went out as soon as Shiva left.

I was walking back and forth in my room. Why did he throw away that notebook? , he had so much written in them. Does it mean something?

I tried to stop my over thinking, started packing my bag and ate lunch.

I didn't know when I slept, but I woke up to the sound of my phone, it was nearly 5 in the evening.

The call was from Shwetha.

" Hi! " I said.

" Are you still in Chennai! I heard that you were about to leave yesterday! " She said.

" How did you know? " I asked surprised.

" I have my means to know the truth. " She said. Shiva to Hari, Hari to Shwetha, what a loop.

" But I am leaving tonight " I said.

" Aparna, listen to me just once. I have known Shiva for years. I haven't seen him tear up except once. And that was when he couldn't meet you. " She said.

And the memories rushed into my mind, his notebook, his dreams. I thought to myself, what will go wrong if I do something sense less again?

I will be disappointed again. I can handle that, but the regret?

Suddenly I had an idea, to try my sister's plan.

" Shwetha, can I stay at your home for two days? " I asked.

" You are most welcome! ,but weren't you leaving? " She asked.

" I think I have a better plan " I said.

Exactly by 6 , Shiva came home and I was waiting for him in the living room.

He looked at me surprised.

He took out his phone to book the cab. I waited till the cab came.

We locked the house and sat in the cab. Just like yesterday, Shiva sat in the front and I sat behind.

He was constantly looking at me through the mirror. He was tensed. He was being too quiet.

As soon as we reached the bus stop, I took out of my bag.

" What is the name of the travels? " Shiva asked.

" Orange " I told him.

He carried my bag and started walking. I stopped him midway.

" I think, I can take this from here " I told him.

He just nodded back and handed me my luggage. His eyes were red, obviously he must be missing his sister in law!

I waved to him and started walking to the lounge.

After few steps I turned back and Shiva was still standing there. Suddenly, I felt the pain on his eyes. Something was definitely wrong, but this time I need to see his true side.

I waved at him again, he waved back and started walking out of the bus stop.

I was walking slowly, turning back every few steps to confirm if he was gone. I saw him getting into a cab.

As soon as the car left, I took my luggage from the waiting area and ran out of the bus stop.

I got in an auto.

" To where? " The Auto driver asked.

" To Porur" I said.

I was smiling uncontrollably. Being free after all this , feels too good.

Now, it's time to see, what the free me can do.