17/11/2019 - Sunday -At Tambaram.

Shiva's P. O. V :

Her eyes widened and her face became pale, shock clearly visible.

If this is Aparna, then who is Prerna? Who is my brother married to?

After few seconds, she composed herself and stared at me.

" I am Prerna! " She said with a fake grin.

" No, I saw the post in Aparna's account, with this tattoo. "I said words stuttering out of my mouth.

" Duh! " She said and walked to her phone, she was suddenly confident.

She opened something and handed the phone to me.

It was a pic, of her with her sister, both showing off their tattoo.

They had twin tattoo, with the same words.

I bit my tongue hard. Why ! , what is going on with me! , now I need to face my Anni.

I gave back her phone and looked at her innocently.

" You thought I was my sister? " She asked laughing.

I nodded and laughed back, silently thanking God that she left it at that.

Laugh idiot , laugh at your stupidity.

" Good night! " I said and walked back to my room.

I closed the door and turned on the lights. It was close to two in the night. All the sleep drained out of me. I was anxious.

I took out my notebook to write something.

I can't really meet Aparna, that's the fate which I had to accept.

I started writing a virtual letter to her, which might help me take out this confusion.

I wrote few words and I couldn't write anything. I tore off the paper and threw it in my dustbin.

I opened my phone and it was a message from Anjali, she sent it four hours ago.

" You always think you have a say in this. But you don't.

I can do things which you can't even imagine. Like attempting a suicide, after writing a letter stating that you are responsible for it.

Understand me Shiva, I really want you to. I have waited four years. You need to answer that at least.

Even if you don't understand, you have no choice. You can't run away baby. "

I could literally feel the venom in her words.

I am a captive to her. She sees me as a toy she was promised on her birthday ,A puppet who would fulfill her wishes of living in a city. She doesn't have any passion in life. I really wish I could just run away from here. What would happen if I do that?

I can work in my own firm, do what I want. I can date someone who would respect me as a person. I would be living a life that I wanted . Even if I didn't earn a lot, I would be much more happy.

But I would end up making more damage than my brother did. I still remember the broken face on Appa and Amma on the day Rajiv ran away.

The comments all the neighbors and relatives passed behind our back. All those people who laughed at my parents, saying they don't have good upbringing that their son ran away.

If I do the same, they would be broken beyond help.

A memory flashed before my eyes.

" You will marry her! " Amma said sternly with tears on her eyes.

" I won't! " I shouted back. I hated Anjali ever since we were children.

" Then you are not my son anymore! " She shouted back.

" I don't care! This is how you blackmailed Rajiv! Now he is gone! He is happy somewhere! I am the sinner who got stuck here! I wish I had run away too! " I said gritting through my teeth.

She looked at me shocked at my words.

" I should be the one! Before you go I will be gone! " She shouted at me.

" After two years of mental torture who wouldn't wish they had a chance to run away! " I said.

The next moment, she fainted. I caught her from falling down.

It was raining on that night too.

I carried Amma to the Hospital in an auto. Appa was out of town. All the way to the hospital, I was repeatedly promising her that I won't ever run away.

I was praying to God that I would give up on anything for my Amma.

I was all alone in the hospital, terrible thoughts were running inside my mind.

She woke up few hours later in ICU. She went through a mild heart attack. As soon as she woke up, she whispered my name and the nurse called me in.

To look at my Amma in that state, I was already half dead.

I held her hand and started crying.

" If you ever ran away, this is what will happen to me! "She said slowly.

Her words still clear on my mind. I broke away from the memory and woke back to my reality.

I got up and started walking back and forth in my room.

I have tried 1000 ways to fight back against my life in this two years. I lost at everything.

I saw my notebook on the table, it has been my companion for four years now. I wrote my dreams and my wishes. I took the notebook in my hand and scrunched it, taking out all my anger.

I threw the notebook into the dustbin along with my dream about my future.

I cried myself to sleep after turning off the lights.

The next day, I woke up and shaved my beard. If I can't be happy, at least I can let others be happy.

As I walked downstairs for breakfast, Amma saw me and smiled at me, which means Anjali hasn't talked to my Amma yet.

Anni looked at me and she was surprised too.

I ate breakfast and went to Karthick's home. It was Sunday, the only day I was free to do anything I want.

His house was close to mine. We usually drink and party there. He was living alone.

As I came in, Karthick's tensed face came into my view. He didn't even notice that I had shaved off my beard.

" Are you okay? " I asked as I sat on the sofa.

" Not really " He said sitting opposite to me.

" What happened? " I asked.

" It's Menaka " He said.

Karthick and Menaka were in long distance relationship for the past three years.

" Her parents have fixed an alliance for her " He said.

" What? Well, she would have opposed them, right? " I asked.

He shook his head.

I looked at him confused.

" She said okay " Karthick said slowly.

" Why would she do that? " I asked.

" Because she couldn't convince her parents " He said.

" What the fuck is this karthick!? She has been in a relationship with you for three years. But she knows her parents for more than 20 years! Didn't she commit into this relationship knowing the after effects? " I said annoyed.

He shook his head and smiled at me.

" She still loves me! " Karthick said.

" Be practical karthick! She has wasted your time for three years! She is literally throwing you away now! " I said.

" You can't be practical in love! " Karthick said smiling.

Trust me, at this point I really wanted to punch his face for being a complete idiot.

" We don't choose who we love! You can't understand this, because you haven't felt it! " He said smiling. But I knew how much hurt he was.

" When you plan your life around a person, when they disappoint you like this, shouldn't you be at least angry at her? " I asked.

" I am angry on her, but I heard her crying to me. She wishes she had died. She always thought she could convince her parents. But she couldn't.

I don't care if she is with me or with someone else, all I want is for her to be happy " He said.

" Fuck your saint ass! I never thought you had a side like this! " I said confused.

I could sympathise with Menaka on some level, because parents can be forceful. But at least I was precautious, I didn't hurt anyone with fake promise.

Hari came there by afternoon.

Karthick was being there with us, but his thoughts were with that girl. He was acting strong in front of us.

We played games till evening and Karthick slept off. It was raining again.

I got a call from my Amma. It was about 6 in the evening.

" Shiva, we got stuck in Jeya aunty's home. It is raining heavy here. Prerna has bus at 9 tonight. If we can't come before 8 , Drop her carefully at the bus stop. We would leave Jeya aunty's home only after the rain stops. Take care of her. " She said.

"Okay, okay. I am going home now. " I said.

Hari and I left Karthick's home few minutes later. It was only drizzling here.

I rang the door bell after parking my bike. Nobody answered.

I rang the bell again. Still no answer. I was getting tensed.

I took out my phone and called the landline number.

After three rings, Anni picked it up.

" Hello! Anni! Are you okay? " I asked quickly.

She didn't reply at all.

In few seconds, she opened the door.

Anni was wearing a kurta with jeans. I was accustomed to seeing her in saree.

She was looking confused at me. I was slightly wet because of the rain.

" Come in! " She said.

As I came in, she locked the door behind me.

" I need your help" She said sharply.

" What? " I asked.

" Can you buy me some sanitary napkins? " She asked closing her eyes.

I looked at her confused.

I don't know much about girl's stuff, slept off during most of the biology class on human reproductive system, but to my basic knowledge, girls have menstrual cycle.

They get menstruation once a month,

Only when they are not pregnant.