I rushed towards the kitchen, a red tint on my cheeks and my heart beating so loud in my chest it felt like it would literally explode.

Yoongi was behind me looking somehow perfectly fine as if our one hour make out session didn't even happen at all.

My eyes wandered everywhere making sure no one would be able to see me in this state.

I went over to the refrigerator and got a bottle of water, drinking it as soon as i touched it.

After taking a few sips of the cooling concoction i relaxed a little and felt my senses come back.

"Are you okay?" I heard a voice say behind me as i flinched and yelled a little.

Thankfully the loud music had blocked my scream and so no one had heard me. I looked over to see Eunji standing there looking a bit worried.

"Your all red. Are you sure your feeling alright?" she asked yet again as i felt terribly embarrassed.

"I'm fine, don't worry about me." i said trying to calm down my beating heart. Eunji didn't look convinced of my answer but i'm glad she let the topic go.

"Anyway have you seen Naeun anywhere? We are supposed to head back to our dorm by now but i can't seem to find her." She said as i gave her a worried glance.

"I think i saw her with Taemin before heading inside Yoon- i mean before heading for the dance floor." i said faking a laugh as she looked at me weirdly.

"Are you sure you're okay?" she asked again giving an emphasis on the sure.

"I told you i'm fine it's nothing trust me." i said trying my best to convince her but i don't think it helped at all.

"I don't trust you when it comes to your health." she said sternly as i gave her an apologetic smile.

Me and Eunji had been there for each other for so long. We have always had each others backs in whatever the situation may be.

We've seen each other in our darkest of times and we helped each other through so much. Looking back at our laughs and cry's together i felt like i had known this women for my entire life.

When we first met we automatically clicked. We were always so comfortable with each other and never once have i ever doubted my love and admiration for this girl.

I saw her through her struggles as an idol, i saw her go through a very toxic time in her life and vice versa. We knew each other like the back of hand and i honestly wasn't surprised at how Eunji had brought up the topic of my health.

She always knew i was extremely insecure of my body, even from a very young age. I had always gotten a lot backlash for being so chubby, even when i became a kpop idol.

I remember as a trainee i had went through an extremely unhealthy diet so i would be fit enough to debut. That diet had made me faint twice and as a result i had stopped.

I had then yet again gotten a bit chubby during our comebacks and i had gotten a lot of backlash for it. Dieting was then again one of my main priorities.

I didn't want our group to degraded just because one member wasn't skinny. I didn't want to be the reason that Red Velvet doesn't get the recognition that they deserve.

I didn't want to be a problem for everyone to try and fix.....

Health and weight were always one of my biggest issues growing up. And they were always a very deep and sensitive topic for me.

Eunji knew that i was still dieting even though the fans had been satisfied but i just can't help and worry that maybe i'd disappoint them again.

"You should be cautious of your health Seungwan, don't let those hate comments about your body get to you. Your stronger than them okay?" She said giving me a smile.

I smiled back giving her a hug as she got a text message. I looked at her as she checked who sent the message.

"Oh! Okay i have to go." She said as she was about to leave when i grabbed her arm to stop her.

"Wait, what about Naeun?"

"She's going with Taemin so Key told me not to worry about her. I'll tell our manager that she is coming home with Twice so no one suspects anything." She said as i gave her one last hug but what she whispered next in my ear made me go back to my earlier tomato red face.

"Don't think i haven't noticed your smudged lipstick. You better fix that up before someone else noticed what you and your lover boy were doing in his room."

She said smirking as i immediately covered my lips with hands. She chuckled and left out the door leaving me all alone to deal with this mess.

I put down the bottle of water and headed to the bathroom making sure no one saw me.

I went inside and quickly started fixing my lipstick, my red cheeks still visible.

After getting all ready i signed and looked at myself in the mirror.

Not gonna lie, I looked really pretty but i didn't feel like it.

I felt empty and sad. I realized that no matter what i do the media will always find ways to hate me. I realized that i am not perfect, no one is, but at least i am not heartless.

My eyes came down to the newly necklace placed beautifully on my neck.

The pretty pale blue color matching my dark blue top and shoes. I looked at it intently and smiled.

At least there is still one good thing in my life.

It was like i had a whole memory flash of our life's together when we were in high school. All those sweet moments and great memories that we made together.

Now look at us, two of the most famous and well known idols with huge hits and great songs.

Who would have thought that our lives would become this complicated. That living simple lives was just not something we could do anymore.

That being in love was even forbidden....

I got out of the bathroom and saw him sitting on the couch all alone. He was drinking a can of beer and looked distressed.

I went over to him and sat besides him, he looked at me as our eyes met for a few seconds.

"Hey... You good?" i heard him say behind me in a low whisper.

He sounded worried and i couldn't help but smile. For a second he looked confused at my weird behaviour but he shrugged it off and went back to drinking his can of beer.

"Yoongi...." i said as he looked at me again his eyes gleaming.

I slowing grabbed his hand that was resting on the couch and intertwined our fingers. I got closer to him and rested my head on his shoulder as i closed my eyes, enjoying the close proximity.

"I'm tired..." Was the last thing i said before i felt myself slowly lose conscious.

"Aigoo this kid..... What am i going to do with you?"