As days passed, I've gotten immune to my husband's sad looks every time we passed each other.I know he's coming to the main block for me but I pretended not to care.

I am ready to bear his mother for him but she won't let me unless I brought her tons of money.

He has to either convince her to accept me back without money or he needs to move out of the house.

There is no other possibility for our life together. And that thought dreaded me because neither of the options seemed remotely possible.

Adding to that, my pregnancy hormones aren't letting me to live peacefully. I get very emotional and sit crying for hours when I have sudden cravings as no one's there to fulfill my wishes.

What should have been an exciting journey of motherhood indeed turned worse bringing the worst out of me. There was never a day without me sobbing, thinking about not being able to eat something that I craved very badly.

Yes, I stay with my parents but what good will it do when they sleep peacefully in their room while I feel like eating something in the middle of the night or in the class room. Adding to that, we live in the outskirts, almost village like part of Vizag where we don't find popular fast food chains.

The person who ought to take care of me wasn't worried about any of this.

My life couldn't have been worse. Sometimes, I get this crazy idea to run back to Karthik and Sindhu who'd take care of my every need. But, I can't. I don't want to cause any more problems for them.

"Do you have hot chocolate?" I asked the guy behind the counter, in the cafeteria.

I know it's impossible to find it here but I wanted to try. I suddenly wanted to taste it, remembering the hot chocolate from Café Coffee Day (CCD) when I worked in Hyderabad.

I got the reply I expected and strolled away, walking out of the open door with empty hands.

I wanted a simple thing and I couldn't get that; just like everything else I wanted.

My eyes watered and in spite of trying to be strong, I teared up. Walking under the shade of a tree, I removed the hand kerchief from my bag and dabbed my eyes with it, while sniffling trying not to think about the taste of hot chocolate on my lips.

"What happened?" Prof. Parvathi's voice came from behind me.

Why does she find me in most vulnerable situations? It's sad that what happened to her daughter was horrible. Now, she will feel sad about me too.

I tried convincing her that it was nothing but she didn't listen to me and I had to finally talk about my cravings as we walked towards the main block.

"Prof. Vinay" she called out, who was coming out of our staff room, probably searching for me.

"Yes mam" he said politely before glancing at me.

"Can you send someone to get--"

"We can't find it here" I told her patiently.

"I know." She replied to me, turning her attention back to him "Send someone to 'More' or 'Reliance' super market and get Cadbury Hot Chocolate powder for me"

I gaped at her in surprise when she took out two hundred rupee notes and gave it to him.

"Now?" he asked, looking surprisingly at the notes.

When she said 'Yes', he handed the money back to her and left us, giving me a sympathetic look.

He came back 45 minutes later and we made our way back to the mess. She went to the Tea counter, where milk was boiled at one end of the stove and made me a steaming cup of hot chocolate.

"Mmm" I moaned, sniffing the hot chocolate as I sipped it and almost felt like being in heaven.

"This is good" I said, smiling at her "Thank you"

As I took small sips, she leapt out of her seat "I have a class. Vinay, escort her back to the staff room or her lab, if she has"

"You can leave. I can go back" I told him after she left. After all, I am not heavily pregnant; just in my second trimester.

"That's ok. I have a free period next" he said casually, observing me "Why is Parvathi mam worried about you?"

"Haven't you heard what happened to her daughter?" He nodded sadly "She thinks our lives are similar"

"We are not so cold hearted" he said, implying himself and his mother.

"Don't start it, please. I want to have this in peace" I said, gesturing to my cup.

After I was done with it, he began "Why do you keep avoiding me?"

"What should I do then?" I asked seriously "Act like everything is alright with us? Act like we are very happy and so in love. And then what? You go to your house and I go to mine. I can't live a lie, I am sorry"

"I don't have answers for anything you say but I want you in my life"

I gave a hollow laugh "I am so sorry for not being able to purchase you from your family. It's my fault; obviously"

"I am not blaming this on you" His face turned painful as he said that "And I am sorry for not taking care of you. I know you need me at this time but I can't help it"

"You don't even know how much I want you by my side; now, of all times" I croaked painfully "How important it is to have you beside me. But, you--"

My lips trembled and water works restarted in my eyes, making me get up in frustration.

I don't want to look weak; especially, not in front of him.

I strode away, walking to the exit when his hand gripped my wrist making me say "Leave me"

"Come with me" he said, taking my hand and I followed him.

He took me in the opposite way, away from the department buildings, towards the student hostels. The path is empty with trees on both sides of the pavement.

He stopped and walked under the shade of a tree as he spoke "I am sorry for everything"

"Stop saying sorry you bastard, when it doesn't make any difference" I yelled at him.

He gawked at my furious behavior before taking me into his arms "You missed me, right? Because I missed you so much"

As much as I wanted to punch him hard, I succumbed into his embrace; I couldn't help it.

"Tell that you miss me too" he whispered into my ears, holding me tight against his chest.

"What difference will it make?" I said with a snort.

"It does. I want to be sure that I am not the only person feeling terrible about--"

"Really?" I snapped, getting out of his arms "You felt terrible without me? Is that why you called me every day and tried to know where I am?"

He looked hurt and tried to hug me again but I stepped back. I want to know where I stand. I mean, what is the point of all of this, if he's going to marry another woman.

"Let me hold you. It's been so long" he pleaded.

"I want answers. What are you going to do with me?"

"What do you mean?"

"You have exactly two options. One, convince your mother to accept me back without money. Two, leave your parents for your wife and daughter"

"I can't choose either of it" he explained "I don't want to lose either of you"

"Then you have another option which your mother will be happy about"

"What?" he demanded softly.

"Marry another woman and forget me. Leave me alone"

"You know I can't do that"

"You already did that; you ignored me for weeks. It's not going to be tough for you"

He groaned "Please don't say that"

"Why do you keep saying that when it's true. Why don't you leave me alone? It's enough that I have my own problems."

"What problems are you facing apart from my mother?" he asked eagerly.

"I think it's none of your business" I said sharply, trying to leave him but he intervened "Anything that concerns you and my baby is my business"

"What have you ever done for me or your baby that gave you the right to say that?"

He shook his head in shame "I am sorry. What do you want me to do?"

"I want you to come to the doctor when I go for checkups. Can you do that?" I yelled furiously, wiping my dampened cheeks "I want you to find and get what I need for my pregnancy cravings. I want you to hold and comfort me because I can't sleep a wink with my back pain. Above all, I want you to care for me and my kid; like a real husband or dad would do"

"Is that too much to ask?" I asked softly, throwing my arms around his neck, sobbing to his chest.

He held me with his left hand while his right, wiped my fresh tears "I know you won't believe me but I care for you"

I closed my eyes painfully, wondering what's going to happen to the two of us. Isn't there any other solution to our problem?

"I think I should leave" I said, getting out of his embrace "And you should stay away from me"

"Why do you--"

"Because there's no use doing this over and over again. I am tired. Talking with you will only stress me and my baby" I said calmly, avoiding his eye contact.

When he didn't say a word, I trotted away from him, making my way back to the cafeteria and then the staff room. Coming here had only given me pain.

I should probably call Karthik and take up his idea.

---

Thank you for reading. Please Vote, Comment and Share.

As you all know that 'He is in love' is almost close to end, I am planning to end both these books simultaneously. I am working on this one right now but I'll try to end both the stories by this month end.

- JANAKI S