A/N: Listen to 'My Immortal' by Evanescence (replay if needed). It sets the mood, there's some lines that don't go with this but oh well. Comment and tell me your thoughts

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Maybe coming here alone wasn't a good idea.

Especially at midnight while the bitter, cold wind of fall is blowing. It's completely dark out, the only light is the moon and the faint stars. At any other time I would have stopped and gazed at them, but not now. I'm here for HIM. The first time since he left.

It's been a month now, and yet I can never muster up enough courage to come see him. The lads wouldn't want me doing this, but I need to. If only to say goodbye for the last time. They say its not healthy for me to see him yet. But when will it ever be?

I follow the familiar dirt road, one that I remember by memory, I don't need light to see it. We've come down this road so many times before that its practically engraved into my brain.

How many times have we traveled down this road?

How many times have we sneaked out at midnight to see the stars?

How many kisses have we shared along this road?

How many 'I love you's were spoken?

Too many to count. All of them unforgettable.

I close my eyes with a sigh, letting my feet take me to our place, as I remember the first of the many trips we made.

"Guys come on! Go to sleep already, we have an interview tomorrow." Liam says sternly but fails epically when Niall gives him the famous Horan Puppy Eyes.

"Please LiLi. Can we stay up a bit later?"

Zayn, Louis and I watch amused at the sight before us. The mighty Daddy Direction trying to say no to Niall Horan. It's quiet a funny sight to watch. They stare at each other for a while neither backing down, when the unthinkable happens.

"No."

Liam just said no to Niall. The Irish boy'a face falls for a bit, then he glares at Liam and storms off to his room. The older boy just looks after him then follows. Soon after Zayn leaves as well with a chuckle.

It's just me and Louis, the boy who will forever own my heart whether he wants to or not. It's silent for a while; eleven o'clock becomes midnight. I'm about to head up to bed when I feel a hand wrap itself around my waist.

"Haz? Can I show you something?" Lou whispers looking up at me.

At midnight? "Sure Boo."

He bites his lip nervously "It's out in the woods."

I'd go anywhere with him "Lou come on just show me."

He gives me a wide smile, gets up and leads me to the door. We grab coats and quietly step out of the house. I let him lead me about in the dark, holding hands as we walk. The butterflies in my stomach are having a party from his touch. My heart beating like crazy.

Soon we're surrounded by trees, the chilly air biting at our faces. Up ahead I can make out a dirt track winding into the darkness, that's when I freeze.

"Harry?" Louis voice soothes my alarm but not by much.

"Louis. I'm scared." I confess not looking at him in shame.

He just chuckles and brings my body close to his, wrapping his arms around me. I feel his lips on my temple "Don't worry Haz. I'll keep you save. I won't let anything hurt you."

My head is spinning from the closeness of our bodies, we've done this before, being this close I mean. But why does this time feel different?

"Promise?" I whisper.

"I promise Hazza."

A smile tugs at my lips at the memory.

He was so sweet and caring while we walked along the trail. Keeping me by his side the whole time, tightening his hold on me whenever I shivered or we heard a noise of some kind. I felt completely safe and at ease in his arms. As if everything would be alright.

My eyes flutter open by themselves knowing the sight that will meet them. Our place. Well not exactly our anymore, everyone knows about this place. But to me, it will forever be ours.

It's a meadow. With trees along the edges; in the warm weather they're lush green. In winter, covered in white snow. And in fall, red, orange and yellow. The grass is always green no matter the weather, soft enough to lay down on, short enough that no animals can hide. The ground is flat, with a single small hill in the middle of the entire meadow. A lone tree looming over everything else. It's a beautiful sight to behold, but now with the fog rolling in; it's eerie.

And at its base, is him.

My legs start making their way towards him of their own accord. My feet crushing autumn leaves on the way, the crunching sound echoing in the silent meadow. As I get closer, I can't help but feel sad. The tree, it's dying. The normally green leaves, all but gone. The beaches are withering away. Like everything in my life.

I stop in front of him. My heart going into overdrive at the sight of him. What do I say?

Swallowing the lump in my throat I speak "Hey Boo."

Silence.

"I love you."

Nothing.

Tears pricking at my eyes I continue "Remember our first kiss Lou?"

Perfect. Absolutely perfect.

"What's perfect Hazza?" His angelic voice reaches my ears, causing a smile to light up my face.

"This."

I lift up our intertwined hands. Amazed at how they fit perfectly together. Just like a puzzle.

"Awww. Is Harry getting emotional?" He teases.

"What?" I ask confused until I feel a tear rolling down my cheek.

My eyes widen and I'm about to wipe it away with my other hand when someone stops me.

"It's okay Haz. It's cute how you shed a tear over this." He gestures at our hands and I blush.

I roll over on the grass, where were lying, to face him, my eyes gazing longingly at his lips. We haven't kissed yet because he isn't ready for that. I respect that about him but I have an urge to kiss him.

"May I?" I ask looking into his beautiful blue eyes, the night sky reflected in them.

He understands "Please."

Slowly so as not to scare him, I inch closer, stopping till our foreheads are touching. Green looking into blue. Hearts beating faster and faster.

"I love you."

I brush my lips over his lightly, the mere action setting off sparks between us, my heart skipping a beat. His eyes flutter close as do mine when our lips finally come together.

It's a simple kiss, lips moving together in a synchronized dance of love. Slow and sweet. Gentle and caring. I wrap my arms around his neck just as his wrap around my waist. It's as if time stood still for those few seconds. We didn't deepen the kiss but we were fine with that. It's the smallest actions that count.

As he pulls back he whispers against my lips "I love you."

This is beyond perfect.

"Remember that Boo? How we kissed for the first time? The sparks? The feeling of it all?" Tears on the verge of spilling over, I look at him.

Nothing.

"How about our six month anniversary? Do you remember that? The kisses? The hugs? The teasing from the boys? Anything?"

The silence is killing me.

"Remember our first time? Because I do. It was the best night of my life and it always will be."

Again nothing but silence.

This time, the tears break through the walls and they flow down freely.

"WHY BOO WHY?!" I scream falling to my knees in front of him.

The pain in my chest overwhelming. It's eating me away.

"Why?" I choke out through the sobs and tears. My sight clouded by these overflowing tears. The hole in my chest growing by the second.

"Why did you do it?!"

"Larry! Larry! Larry!"

I squeeze Louis hand as we look out into the small crowd at the mall.

We were having a meet and greet in London, hundreds of fans gathered to see us. Most wanting to see 'Larry' in person.

We had come out to the world three weeks ago, and we had dealt with the hate. It was hurtful but as long as Lou and I had each other, everything would be alright. We were more than grateful that our fans had accepted us as had management.

"Look Haz." Louis giggles pointing at a poster.

'Get married already!'

I laugh. I love our fans.

"So Louis. When's the big day?"

He turns to be shocked "Y-you would really want to get married someday?"

I blush embarrassed "Yeah."

A peck on the lips makes my fave red as a tomato, the fans screaming their heads off. "I would love to."

Is he serious?

The question at the top of my tongue, I open my mouth to ask him but a scream cuts me off. My eyes scan over the fans and stop on a man...holding a gun.

My whole body freezes at the sight. It's pointed right at me. He pulls the trigger just as two bodyguards reach him. My life flashes before my eyes, my death looming closer.

When out of nowhere I'm pushed to the side landing roughly on my back.

"Louis!"

What?!

Scrambling to my feet, I dash to Louis who is on the ground. Blood pooling around him. The shot right over his heart.His once bright eyes now dulling right in front of me. His breath ragged and torn.

"Louis! Please! Don't leave me! Louis, you promised!" I scream, hot tears pouring down my face.

"P-promised t-t-to keep y-you saf-fe." He manages to say through a mouthful of red blood.

I shake my head frantically "No! No! No! You promised to never leave me! You promised!"

His eyes close slowly, breaths slow and farther apart.

"Sorry."

The screaming fades to the background. My focus only on the man before me. The man of my life. Slipping away from me.

Faintly I hear another voice "He's gone."

Hysterical screams leave my mouth. It can't be true! He promised! He fucking promised!

"LOUIS!!!"

"That bullet was meant for me! Not you! Why did you have to go be the hero?!"

Coming here was a horrible idea. It just opens the wound in my heart wider. The pain of losing my other half is unbearable.

'These wounds won't seem to heal'

Am I ever going to get better?

'This pain is just too real'

A deep emptiness in my soul. Like nothing I've ever felt before.

There's just too much that time cannot erase

This headstone mocking me. Reminding me of all that I lost. All to a homophobic person who wanted me dead. Because of that man, everything I once had is lost. I'm not the man I once was. I'm tired of being here without Louis by my side.

"You promised to be with me forever Boo. You broke that promise."

The sobs have died away leaving behind an empty shell. An empty shell of a person. Yet the empty feeling is still there.

Why won't you just leave me alone?

Everywhere I look, your smiling face is there. A reminder.

I've tried my best to let go of you. I have honestly. Knowing its the best for both of us. But it's no use. You may be gone but your presence still lingers here.

"I miss you so much Boo." I croak out "So much that it physically hurts."

"ANSWER ME GODDAMMIT LOU!" I yell tired of the silence.

I love you.

It's my imagination. I'm going crazy thinking that its actually him answering me. I let out a strangled laugh rocking back and forth on my knees. It hurts so fucking much!

I love you.

Laughing and crying at the same time I curl up into a ball at the foot of the tree, next to his headstone.

The only way I'll ever be close to him again.

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Am I the only one crying? What did you think?