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Jahan kept his promise in a way and still didn't. He knew exactly how to manipulate his way around conditions and words. A perfect business man tactic.

My exact words were "You won't do anything illegal." He destroyed Malik Ahmar keeping that promise. He made the whole Pakistan aware of his every single heinous act. Malik Ahmar in days was on streets with his family.

Jahan completely destroyed him making everyone aware what would be their fate. If they offended him anyway. Calculative, unforgiving but Ruthless. It wasn't a word that I thought could be associated with my husband.

Technically, he didn't do anything wrong but his intentions weren't pure. The public think that he did a heroic thing helping the NAB to catch a corrupted politician. I wanted to laugh at that. He did this for his personal gain. For his very personal cause.

The same news that was repeating on and on for weeks was still getting casted on the news channel.

My friends were praising him. How just he was? How our country needed more politicians like him? Every praise was burden on my heart.

Today we had our last exam. The excuse to stay over Rabia home couldn't be used anymore.

Some people may see me as coward for not confronting him and running away from the problem. I needed time, space, distance everything related to that and exams gave me a reason to stay away.

Stepping out of the front gate, I expected to see Khan baba instead I found one black car with bullet proof glass with Jeep of bodyguards behind.

Jahan's driver came toward to assist me toward the car.

"Bibi ji, sahab apko intezar Kar rahe hain. (Sahab is waiting for you.)

I nodded my head and walked to the car. The driver opened the door and I went inside. I set firmly attached to the door not spearing a glance.

The car started. Jahan pulled on the separation. A second later. He laid his head on my lap with upper half body on the seat and lower half hanging.

"Mere sat me dard horaha hai. (My head is hurting.)

I kept looking out through the window clenching my hand tightly on the leather seat. He took my right hand in his own with his thumb stroking the inside of my wrist.

"Theak hai. Na kare. Mujhe apke qurbat see he sukoon mil jayega (Alright. Don't do it. I will get peace by your nearness.)"

He raised his hand and swiftly took off the hair catcher that binded my hairs in a bun. They fell at my back. He placed some of them in front and then his finger started playing with end of the strands, tugging, twirling them around his fingers.

Suffocated. His scent and touch suffocated me. I looked outside on the passing building, tightly clenching my hands that my nails pricked my skin.

Controlled those sobs by digging my nails into my skin but who had control on those treacherous tears.

The car stopped at the front gate. I felt like I could breath again. I opened the door, stood up, and ran straight to my room.

I stopped in the middle of the room, stared aimlessly at walls, taking deep breath in and out. Again and Again.

I closed my eyes. Filling my lungs with as much oxygen that I could. In a swift second, My wrist was grasped and I was turned around to face him.

My husband that I haven't seen for two week. He looked almost similar with baggage under those honey eyes. Unkept stubble and unkept deep black hairs.

"Kitna waqt leygey. (How much time will you take?) It's already been two weeks."

Time. I scoffed shaking my wrist off his grip and pulled it to my chest.

"Waqt." I again scoffed tasting the word. "You think that I need a little time."

I pushed on his chest making him stumble back. "Huh." I did it again but then he took hold of my hand.

"Phir kiya Karo? Ap se judai bardasht ni hote. (Then what should I do. I can't tolerate to be away from you.)"

He looked lost. What right did he have to look lost and stare at me with pain? When all of it was given to me.

I tilted my head upward to look right into his eyes and held on the collar of his shirt.

"Judai, haq. Mere haq ka kiya? (Detachment, right. What about my right?)"

"Huh." Speechless. Why did he became speechless now?

"Shouldn't you have asked for my permission before marrying her?" I jabbed his chest with my every word.

"Apne teen saal financially mera kheyal rakh leya to apko laga k mere rights poore kardiye. (You financially took care of me for three years so you thought you were done with my rights.)"

My voice raised with my every word but he remained silent taking my every verbal and physical jab. Why was he looking at me with this strange unrecognizing gaze? Didn't he knew?

Tired. No, I was exhausted. Both physically and mentally.

"Ap ne mujhe bohat takleef de hai. (You have hurt me immensely.)"

"Janta ho. (I know.)" It was first first time that I was seeing those orbs helpless and powerless.

I shook my head in again and again. He didn't. He didn't. He grabbed my elbows and pulled me in his arms.

"I can't change what happened the last three years."

Change. I chuckled bitterly inclining my head up to stare at him. Rage, Anger. It clouded me.

"Chore mujhe. (Leave me.)" I tried to pull away from his arms.

"Just hear me out once."

I struggled from his arms. Yelling No.

"Leave me." I harshly pulled his hand away from my shoulder as I pushed him back.

One second. I was pushing him away and then I was grabbed in another by my waist. We were only a breath away.

I was caged in his arms with no escape. We were so close that even if he inched his head a bit down then our lips would touch.

"Chordo. (Should I leave you?)"

He shook me, holding my gaze. "Tell me."

"Chordoo."

"Boldo wo teen lafz. (Should I say those three words.)"

My body became stiff in his arms. Lips parted but not able to form a word. It was like all my bravery flew away. They were right that just the warning of those words can make any sane women defeated.

He pulled away from me. Raking his hand through his hairs, paced back and front.

I stumbled back to the corner and fell on my knees in shock. Pulling my legs to my chin. My fingers and body shook. Uncontrollable tears poured down my cheeks.

My eye were downcast. He stepped in front of me and set on his knees.

"I shouldn't have acted like that."

I didn't lift my gaze up from his shoes. My senses were still in shock. He pulled my chin up and look at me with unreadable eyes.

"I am giving you a choice."

Choice. I looked at him regaining a bit of my senses at that words. My eyes questioning.

"Two weeks. Think carefully. Agar ap mere sath rah sakte hai to theak hai. Agar ni to main apko reha kardoga. (If you can live with me then alright if not then I will free you.)"

His rough large hands cupped my face as he said those words that I was unable to grasp.

"Kiya. (What?)"

He took a deep breath and stroked my cheekbone. "Jana. You asked me for divorce once but I declined. Per agar ab ap mujhe se ye do hafton bad dobara mange ge to de doga. (If you asked me for it again after two weeks then I will give it to you.)"

My eyes widened at the that word. I couldn't tear my gaze away. My eyes filled up with tears.

He caressed my cheeks with his thumb and pulled my head a bit forward to kiss on my forehead. His lips remained there for more than a minute.

Gazing into my eyes, he wiped away the tears and smiled dejectedly.

"Roye mat. (Don't cry.)"

He stood up. I was stiff like a board. I saw his blurred vision walk away from my eyes and I felt lifeless. It wasn't supposed to hurt this much. Was it?

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"Sir, I will drive you."

My driver Nadeem saw me getting into the car so he hurried in my direction.

"Sir, you can't go alone."

He started to insist but I cut him off. "Not even a single person will follow me. You get it Nadeem or you will be fired."

I wanted to do nothing with that stupid protocol that was inflicted upon me since getting the position.

Starting the engine. The car flew at high speed on the empty roads of Lahore.

Tired of driving, I stopped at one place. Rapidly beating restless heart with pain coursing through my veins. I started to beat angrily on the steering wheel. Taking deep breaths, I rested my head against it. I never realized the extent of damage that I caused until now. I could do nothing. It wasn't in my will to take all of it away. The meaning of defeat. It was never more clear until this very moment.

I always kept to my words in professional and private affairs. This time, it felt difficult. How would I handle it, if she decided to take my offer. When even imaginaing it felt this agonizing.

The sun was setting with darkness quickly enveloping every nook and corner. Why it felt like my life would darken like this slowly and slowly if she left?

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Through the whole process, I was enveloped in haze of Jealousy, anger, hurt and betrayel. It felt like that I was on drugs.

For the first time in my life, I completely lost myself to emotions. As a businessman, it was required of me to be calculative and headstrong to evaluate every decision before acting on it.

The nikkah, the paper signing and smoking through the night. When I woke up, it all felt like a dream but I knew it wasn't.

The haze of emotions was finally lifted making me aware of the consequences of my actions.

I booked a flight to Pakistan. I was about to leave, when Sara entered in room making her presence known.

"It's good you are here. We need to talk."

" Oh.. yes. We have all the time in world." She smiled.

"Sara. We haven't consummated our marriage. Its better if we take annulment. Divorce would require a long process."

She parted her lips looking at me with shock. " Jah..n"

"I will give you your haq meher and discuss the requirements with a lawyer."

She kept looking at me with shocked and pale face.

"Sara. It was a mistake. I wasn't in right state of my mind. I want you to understand that."

I took my jacket and was about walk away when I heard her confess again.

"Jahan, I truly love you."

The words didn't stir my heart nor did they act as a balm to soothe my wouds.

So I walked away without even sparing a glance.

There were few hours to my flight so I discussed my case with a lawyer first.

He told me that it will take me six to eight months to get it annuled if I send petition at this date. Furthermore, he explained that it was necessary for both parties to be willing."

I felt that it would be better to talk to Sara after coming back from Pakistan.

The flight landed in Pakistan. I was stressed and tired. I asked the the cab driver to first take me to graveyard.

My intention was to first to do fatiah on uncle's grave. I was close to his grave. When I found a small figure covered in black chadar sitting beside his grave.

I stood far away recognising her. I couldn't make myself step up, walk to her to provide with comfort that she needed.

Guilt. My guilt wasn't only thing that made my feet rooted to the ground. There was fear too that was before hidden in the sea of other emotions. I feared that she would ask me for divorce.

I feared that then I wouldn't be able to deny her request. The recording made me insecure and instilled fear in me. I knew that she would never do anything that would be immoral.

But it was in her right to demand divorce. I couldn't force her to stay with me. The fact itself kept me there looking at her from far, never able to reach.

Fear was really your enemy. It was an only fear at the moment until more added in, keeping me caged and far away.

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