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Worn out. Tired. Drowsy. These would be the best words to define me this week. According to mummy demands I had to live in Haveli before wedding.

Something about bride and groom shouldn't live under the same roof. I don't mind it and supported her idea.

There was no issue in living in Haveli other then that I had to handle an hour drive to university. It takes an hour with good traffic and with bad one. Don't even ask. It was the reason that papa decided to shift from Haveli years ago. The Haveli was in outskirts of Lahore. You could see all the fields around this area. It was good to live here with fresh air and no city pollution.

I walked into the haveli and right at veranda in the palang. I found dadu sitting with a tasbeeh in her hand like usual. I walked to her and set on my knees right beside her. I pulled her hands and kissed the back of them.

"Dadu."

She motioned me to sit beside her on palag. I did as she asked.

She cupped my cheeks and looked at me adoringly.

"Itni takhi howe lag rahi ho. Kal apki mehndi hai. Dulhane aise ni hote." (You look so tired and tomorrow is your mehndi. Brides aren't like this."

A giggle escaped my lips. "Then."

"Wo larkiya aj kal kiya karti hai salon wagera jati hai. Ap bhe jaye aur ye shadi k bad kuch arse k chutiya le lena." (What girls do these days, go to salon etc. You should go there too and take some holidays after your wedding.)

"Ji theak hai. Main sone jah rahe ho." (Okay alright. I am going to sleep.)

I kissed her on the cheek and stood up and walked up to my room not really mine but khair. Today, I presented the project that I was working on for a week. It gave me many sleepless night but my hard work bore fruit and I got good grades.

Now I wanted to do nothing but fall asleep so I took of my chooriyan and placed them on dressing table. I pulled my hair tie and letting my hair to fall down on my back.

I pulled the pashmina shawl and my duppata of my body and threw it on bed carelessly.

I opened the glass doors of the balcony. I laid on the dewan that was in front of the balcony doors. I didn't expect it to be this comfy as I only wanted to have a nap and not fall in to a deep sleep but I eventually did.

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The car entered through the large bronze gate in to the haveli. It rounded the large fountain in the middle before pulling in front of an arched staircase of four step lined with vines having beautiful flowers.

It was my forth visit to Haveli since I came back. I was supposed to come tomorrow at evening for mehndi but dadu asked me to be here today.

I walked through the large wooden door which opened in to large round veranda with spiral staircase at its both ends.

I walked straight to her where she was sitting on palang in the corner of veranda and sat on my knees beside her and laid my head on her lap.

"Ageya mera pota." (My grandson arrived) Dadu moved her hand on my scalp. I closed my eyes with her finger running through my hairs.

"Ap ne bulaya tha to ana hi tha." (You called so I had to come.)

"Wo to main pechley teen sal se bhe bukate rahe tab to ni aye." (I kept calling you for last three years too. You didn't come then.)

I was expecting something from her about my disappearance but she didn't say anything in my last three visits. I thought that maybe she understood that I had a reason as she knew that I was never unreasonable.

"Tanz kar rahe hai." (You are taunting)

"Aur kiya karo. Ap ne bohat zulm kiya hai us phool k sath." (What else should I do. You have done a lot of cruelty to that flower.)

I pulled my head out of her lap and took her wrinkled hands in front of my mouth.

"I know. I can promise you that I will never leave her or cause her any suffering."

She smiled satisfied with my promise and placed a small kiss on my temple and ushered me to have some sleep.

I walked upstair into the corridor which had my room. I loosened the knot of my tie and opened the door. I locked the door. I pulled out a pack from my pocket and took one cigarette and placed it between my lips before igniting it. I took of my jacket and laid it on side of bed.

It took me only a second to notice the pashmina shawl and light sea green duppata lying carelessly on my bed. I took a long drag of smoke as I looked around and found the dressing table having few ladies perfumes and lipsticks with some kanch k churiyan laying on it. Was a lady guest staying in my room?

I was about to walk out while taking the whiffs of smoke and ask someone when my eyes landed on small fragile figure wearing light sea green ankle length frock laying on the dewaan. The cigarette now completely forgotten. Her long black wavy tresses cascading down like a waterfall. Her closed eyes and those long thick eye lashes curled at end resting just above the surface.

That very cute nose to those pouty a bit thick pinkish lips famous for being kissable with that small mouth. My eyes moved the that chin and then to her swan like neck until they went to a very plunging neckline.

I trampled the cigarette under my black boot before walking toward her. I placed my one hand under her head and the other under her knees. I thought about laying her on bed and then leaving the room but then my eyes landed on the valley of her breast where a dusky mole was laying.

Gorgeous. I knew that she was gorgeous from the pictures that my mother sent me from time to time but I didn't know that being this close to her will stir my desire that I would feel myself tighten underneath my trouser.

An urge to just have her was building in me. Even a saint will have himself at the edge of his control with a delectable woman lying underneath him adding that the same woman is in his nikkah. It did nothing but worsen the situation.

Like she could feel the intent from my stare. She stirred and then her eyes opened. Those chocolate brown orbs drunk with sleep looked at me once and then were closed again. A second passed and a crease formed on her temple before she opened her eyes again. They enlarged finding me above her. She looked like a scared kitten with her eyes open wide.

"Ap yahan, kiya kar rahe?" (You here, what are you doing?) It felt like a deja vu.

"Ye to mujhe ap se pouchna chaheye." (I should be the one to ask you this.)

I placed my head casually underneath my hand with my elbow lying beside her head and my other arms caging her there.

"My room had some issus and none were empty with guests so dadu asked me to stay here until your arrival. Agar ap thora side pe hoge to main chale jao ge. (If you move a bit at side then I will leave.)

My eyes swept on her rigid figure underneath me deliberately lying my eyes more then for a second on those beautiful curves. My eyes then landed on chest which was heaving up and down due to my closeness before I looked into those scared orbs again.

"Ni. Mujhe mere biwi you mere neche mere bistar par late howe ache lag rahe hai." (No. I like my wife lying underneath me like this on my bed.)

I drawled the words in a husky deep whisper. A red flush painted her cheeks and nose which was spreading downward to her her neck to her chest where the mole was and further underneath her clothes where I couldn't see anymore. Just two nights and no one would stop me.

Her pure raw shyness and innocence was drawing me like a moth drawn to a flame.

A knock was produced on the door which was resonated in the silent room with the twist of door knob. "Noor are you in there. Open the door."

Her eyes widened further more and she looked at the door then back at me.

"Jane de na. (Let me go.) Apy Zarish is here."

Zarish was the eldest of three daughters of taya abu. She was only a year younger then me due to which she thought that it was entitled for her to call me by my name.

"All right."

She sighed.

"Magar." (But) I added.

Her relived face immediately transformed in to a worried one. The knocking wasn't subsidizing and she kept calling noor asking her to open the door.

"Agle dafa jab ap aise mere niche hoge to jane ni doga. Theak hai." (Next time, when you will be underneath me like this, I won't let you go."

"Ni." (No). She whispered sharply.

"Theak hai begum saheba. Phir main Zarish ko kah deta ho k mere biwi is waqt mere sath hai takey humien disturb na kare." (Okay wifey. Then I will tell Zarish that my wife is with me at the moment so that she won't disturb us."

Her expression said it all that she didn't expect me to do something so bold and shameless but my dear wife didn't know that I was willing to play dirty to make sure that I would have her willing in my bed in two nights.

I parted my lips ready to speak but she placed two of her fingers on my parted lips shaking her head. I wanted to take those fingers in my mouth but I didn't want to scare the already scared kitten.

"Okay." She whispered pulling her fingers away as Zarish knocks got louder.

I jumped out of the bed before sweeping my eyes on her one last time.

She stood up and then her soft fingers took hold of my own. They were very small in comparison to my own but right for her small size. My figure towered over her small five three hight as she pulled me to bathroom and closed the door behind.

I could hear her footsteps as she walked to the door and opened it.

"The neighbour could be woken by my constant knocks but."

There was silence but after some time Zarsish added. "Why are you so flushed and why is there the smell of the cigarette in the air?"

"Ni to" (No) My wife replied instantly. "I mean it couldn't be possible."

"Are you sure? Because my nose is very good in detecting such things." Her tone grew more sly as she added. "Was Jahan here?"

"No, I was the one who was smoking I couldn't tell you."

I wanted shook my head in amusement. Her and smoking. Who would believe that?

"Acha. Eik advice do. (Should I give you an advice.) If you don't want anyone to know that you were smoking the cigarette then wipe out the traces completely jani."

She said in a loud voice meant for me to hear as she stressed on the words "smoking" and "cigarette". I guess she saw the coat lying on the bed.

I heard the sound of two footstep indicating that she walked a bit. "Aur ha agar Jahan mile to use kah dena k niche sab chaheye pe us ka intazaar kar rahe hai." (And if you see Jahan then tell him that everyone is waiting downstairs for him to join them for tea.)

She left talking in double meaning to not to embarrass my already embarrassed wife.

I walked out of the bathroom a minute later. I saw her standing there with her lips parted in shocked expression.

"She knew. Ya Allah wo mere bare me kiya souch rahe hoge." (What she would be thinking about me?"

She placed her palms on both of her cheeks. I couldn't help but chuckle at her embarrassed state.

I pulled her hand of her cheeks. "So what, biwi hain ap meri." (You are my wife."

Something changed in her eyes. Her stare was intense. She looked into my eyes actually glaring.

"Biwi." (Wife.) Her tone was mocking as she gave a humourless chuckle.

I didn't like it. My fist clenched and my jaw ticked in anger. I remembered the night that she asked for divorce.

"Watch your tone."

I walked out slamming the door behind me. Ami, dadu and abu and now her. I knew what I did was wrong but which man can handle the fact that his wife was in love with his friend. I was very possessive of people that I cared for since my childhood. I saw her crying her heart out after our nikkah. Those tears. I hated them with passion. I hated it that my wife was holding someone in her heart.

I didn't hate the idea of her being my wife. If I must say, I actually liked it. I was attracted to her without even knowing myself. It was always all of it or none and it was same with her. I wanted to possess her. I left because it was best for both of us. I didn't want to do something that I would regret.

I heard somewhere "aksar faslien dilon me muhabbat dal date hai." I practiced the phenomena and hoped that it would work for me too. I never intend to stay away for this long but my one impulsive decision lengthened our judai.

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