, I ran my hands down my suit, smoothing out any creases. I fiddled with my hair one last time, leaving the waves to sit on my shoulders. I was getting ready to hear Sam talk at Steve's memorial, where he'd be putting his shield on display. I wasn't too sure that's what Steve would've wanted, but I trust Sam's intentions.

I took one deep breath in and then out, before placing my bag on one shoulder and holding it by my hips. I grabbed my keys and left the house, getting into my matte, black car and I began to make my way to Washington DC.

Once I had arrived, I half expected to see Bucky there but he didn't show. I suppose it may have been difficult for him, I don't think he'd want Sam to give the shield up.

I stood at the back of a large group of people, keeping out the way and I rested my weight on a pillar as I watched Sam give his speech.

"Steve represented the best in all of us. Courageous, righteous, hopeful. And he mastered posing stoically."

This made everyone, including myself, chuckle. I spotted Rhodey stood by the front of the stage. I hadn't seen him in a while.

"The world has been forever changed. A few months ago, billions of people reappeared after five years away, sending the world into turmoil. We need new heroes. Ones suited for the times we're in. Symbols...are nothing without the women and men that give them meaning."

Sam's eyes scanned the crowd and eventually lay on me. I gave him a weak smile, a weak one being the only one I could muster up at the time, but he returned it nonetheless.

"And this thing..." he continued, giving a light chuckle, and he picked up the shield that stood beside him, "I don't know if there's ever been a greater symbol. But it's more about the man who propped it up, and he's gone. So today we honour Steve's legacy. But also, we look to the future."

"Thank you Captain America. But this belongs to you."

Everyone applauded, as Sam handed it over so it could go into a display case for everyone to be able to see. For everyone to be able to remember Steve Rogers and the man he was.

꧁꧂

After Sam's speech, I had gotten myself a coffee and now stood in the exhibition all about Captain America. I looked at all different things; his bike, the posters, his suit and shield. But I spent most of my time looking at one board. The board about Bucky.

I admit, I missed him. He was a good friend and I loved him, but we both needed time apart. It was for the best.

"Miss Odindottir." A voice behind me spoke.

I turned around with a small smile, still holding my coffee cup in my right hand. "Please, call me Eris."

"Eris." The man nodded. "I work for the Government and we have plans that we think you may want to be involved in. We could use someone like you on our side."

"And what exactly are these plans, Mr...?" I said, keeping my tone professional.

"Hoskins. Lemar Hoskins." He introduced, sticking his hand out for me to shake, which I did politely. "And these plans are for a new hero. Someone to protect our city."

"A new hero?" I queried, squinting my eyes at the man before me. He simply nodded. I sighed, "and what is this new hero's name going to be?"

"Captain America." He replied with a smug smirk. I felt my mood and face drop. I no longer held a kind smile, but a straight line across my lips.

"You can't possibly be serious?" I almost snapped at him. "You cannot make another Captain America. Steve was it and he's gone."

He tilted his head and nodded once, "I understand where you're coming from but ,John Walker, he's right for the job. Three medals of honour. He can do it. So, did you want in?"

"No. I don't."

This time Lemar squinted his eyes. "This is a once in a lifetime opportunity, Eris. I don't think you quite understand what you're passing up."

"I understand completely. And I don't want to be on your side, Mr Hoskins. Now, if you'll excuse me, I have things to do." And with that I walked past him, dropping my now empty coffee cup in the bin as I left the room and made my way to my car.

"So Mr Barnes are you still having nightmares?" Dr Raynor asked me as I sat on the couch facing her but my eyes stayed focus on a spot on the floor.

"James, I asked you a question. Are you still having nightmare?" She asked again, this time I managed to pull my eyes away and look at her.

"No." I lied.

"We've been doing this long enough that I can tell when you're lying. Well, you seem a little off today. Did something happen recently?"

"No." I replied again.

"You're a civilian now. With your history, the government needs to know that you're not gonna..." she made a gesture with her fist.

I nodded slightly.

"It's a condition of your pardon." Dr Raynor continued. "So, tell me about your most recent nightmare."

I looked off to the side as I shook my head slightly, "I didn't have a nightmare."

She took a long deep breath, and then took out her pen and began to write stuff down in her notebook.

"Oh come on. Really?" I questioned in disbelief. "You're gonna do the notebook thing? Why? It's passive aggressive."

"You don't talk. I write."

I gave a heavy sigh. "Okay, okay. I crossed a name off the list of my amends yesterday. Don't worry. I used all your three rules. Senator Atwood."

"She was a HYDRA pawn for year." I explained, "Helped her get into office when I was the Winter Soldier. And after HYDRA disbanded, she continued to abuse the power I gave her."

"So, rule number one, you can't do anything illegal." Dr Raynor reminded me. Of course, I did do something illegal, I had full control of her car.

"All I did was give some intel to the aide to convict her. And I wasn't involved in anything else." I told her, trying to tell the lie which I think I was.

"Rule number two?"

"What was rule number two?"

"Nobody gets hurt. It's a big one."

"Then why isn't it rule number one?" I remarked. "I didn't hurt anybody. I promise."

I did, I punched a guy.

"And what about rule number three?"

I thought about it for a second before Dr Raynor spoke again.

"The whole point of making amends is to fulfil rule number three."

"You know, you're a cynic, Doc. Of course, I completed rule number three. 'I am no longer the Winter Solider. I am James Bucky Barnes and you're part of my efforts to make amends.'" I recited, ending it with what I thought was a sweet smile but probably wasn't as kind as I thought it was.

"So, you did it all right, but it didn't help with the nightmares."

"Well, like I said, I didn't have any."

Doc Raynor was silent for a moment, in thought. "Look...one day, you're gonna have to open up and understand that some people really do want to help you and that they can be trusted."

"I trust people."

"Yeah? Give me your phone."

I took my phone out of my jacket pocket and handed it to her. It was a flip phone, yes. But besides the point.

"You don't have ten phone numbers on this thing." Doc pointed out quite rudely. "Oh, and you've been ignoring the texts from Sam. And the texts from Eris. You and her were close. Look, you've gotta nurture friendships. I am the only person you have called all week. That is so sad." Doc then threw my phone back to me.

I had been ignoring Sam. And Eris. All the texts from Eris were her checking up on me, asking how I was doing but when I didn't reply for a while she eventually texted me less. It went from a text every night, to a text every other day, to one a week. I missed her texts, to be totally honest, despite the fact I never replied it was still nice to get them.

"You're alone. You're a hundred years old. You have no history, no family..."

"are you lashing out at me, Doc? Because that's really unprofessional, you know? When did that start? Yelling at your clients? Oh the notebook. That's great."