《Your Book Sucks and Here's Why》Your Characters Are Trash
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Your book sucks.
Why? Well, let me tell you.
To start off, your story is dead boring.
It's flat and bland. Not because of your plot, or because your grammar isn't perfect, or because you didn't explain his ocean blue eyes in enough detail. It's dead boring because your characters are dead boring. They're flatter than Flat Stanley, and that's saying a lot (he was pretty flat, after all). So, you may be asking, "How do I create more dynamic, tangible characters that people actually care about?"
I'm glad you asked.
1. If I reference the infamous sports cars in the Fast and Furious movie franchise, what comes to mind? Probably Brian O'Connor's neon green '95 Mitsubishi Eclipse (photo above). It's unforgettable, really, what with its vibrant color, custom decals, and unique body kit parts, right? Well, if you take a look at a standard Eclipse, it's a very dull, boring car, that comes in unimaginative colors like grey and white, and it looks like something your fifty year old dad would drive to work.
You may be asking, "What the hell does this have to do with anything?" Seriously, you guys are asking great questions today. See, your characters are standard Eclipses: very lackluster and commonplace. Soup them up. Turn them into Brian's one-of-a-kind car. Make them complex through various goals and motivations, and never let the reader think they've got them completely figured out. Explore your character's upbringing, religious/political beliefs, education, social influences, and relationships to develop them as people. Make them unique to your story, and that will give them life.
2. They have to have real struggles that exist outside of the spectrum of romance. Don't let Emma Smith's only problems be what hot guy she's going to take to prom. And that does not mean kill off one of their parents to throw in some tragic backstory and call it a day. Real Y/A struggles include anxiety, body dysphoria, non-consensual sexual activity, addiction, eating disorders, social media bullying/peer pressure, etc. These are real problems that can create dynamic characters and, if left untreated, can create juicy character flaws.
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3. Make them fuck up! Take those problems previously discussed and magnify them by 100%. Take anger for example. It isn't a bad thing until it is, you know? Maybe Emma's temper is short, and it has never really been an issue until she explodes at a careless customer during a day at work and gets fired. Or maybe, in a smaller sense, she doesn't see the problem with her own anger because she never explodes.
But what she does do is make small, condescending remarks here and there and is generally critical of others, to the detriment of her own relationships. It's like poison; the death of her relationships isn't immediate, but it is certain. If they don't mess up, if they don't have to learn from any mistakes, if they never feel the need to apologize, they're not growing as people, and you're doing something wrong. The reader won't root for them unless the character actually tries.
4. Who are they? Where did they grow up? People who grow up in middle to upper class have an entirely different outlook on life and what they believe they deserve than someone who did not. Are they idealistic, or is reality too pessimistic for them to believe things can be like they are in the movies? Where do they go to/who do they turn to when they need help/comfort?
What is their essence as people?
5. Everyone has one. Identify it in your character. Define the worst possible thing that could happen to your character, the thing they're most afraid to face, and throw it at them. Break them, and force them to put the pieces back together on their own. Only then will we really know your character, only then will we know how far they're willing to go for what they want. Only then will we see their strength amidst adversity and root for them to get back up.
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6. Was it all worth it? Did they strive in vain, or did it pay off? Who are they after everything that happened, every high and low? Are they better? Worse? More importantly, why does it matter? Why should we care?
Tell us.
Your characters should be intense, volatile, and raw. Humanity is simultaneously a staunch and vulnerable thing. The same scenario that would strengthen one character may tear another to shreds. Whatever that is, whatever makes up your character, whatever motivates then, whatever keeps them up at night, whatever causes them to make the decisions that they do, that is who they are.
I want to see Brian's car, not your dad's car. There are so many possibilities.
Don't squander them.
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Dragon Hack
Rich's life sucks. He lives in a dystopia, His father's an abusive creep, his mother's up to some shady stuff, and he's pretty sure he's going to die a virgin. He can't do much about the first few problems, but a new darknet game might give him a shot at getting laid. But even the most well-laid plans go astray, and he ends up with way, way more than he bargained for. He gains a character with the rarest of all races: Dragon. But it's a two-way street, and strange occurances and problems soon have Rich wondering if this is truly a game, or something far more sinister... WARNING: Contains verbal abuse and harsh language. The language and sentiments used do not represent the views of the author. The dystopia portrayed is meant to be a cautionary tale, rather than a criticism of any existing group or political faction. CLAIMER: My name is Andrew Seiple. I am a writer, and I both write this story and own the rights to it. I will be posting this story on Spacebattles.com, SufficientVelocity.com, RoyalRoad.com, and my Patreon. I reserve the right to remove it from any and all platforms as needed to facilitate my sinister long-term plans. (Except for Patreon. The story there ain't leaving.) If you desire to read this story faster, note that my Patreon is generally going to be several updates ahead of all publicly-available threads. Cover art created by Ambelia Parris, licensed per agreement.
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