《Lost and Insecure (ManxBoy)》Chapter 19

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Blood wouldn't stop rushing out of my cuts and it was starting to make the water a faded red color. For a moment I thought I was bleeding to death and it scared me to even think about it.

However, Alexander held me in his secure arms and made my fear leave my body with his gentle touch. I hid my face in his neck and tried to relax as Nana washed the deep cuts on my back.

I knew my wounds were there and I was able to wash them a couple of times after Alexander brought me back home, but somehow they re-opened when Alexander and I were having sex.

Nana scrubbed as gently as possible on one of my cuts but it still hurt like crazy. I guess it was bad that they weren't cleaned properly and were exposed to germs. Which was the reason why they didn't heal.

"It's almost over babe, I promise." I softly smiled at Alexander's soothing words that I felt lightly against my neck.

His sweet pet names made my heart flutter like crazy since he rarely said them.

After having sex for the first time with Alexander, I couldn't help but feel so much more bonded with him. My whole body still ached from the experience but it was worth it.

My lower back and hips were the worst at the moment but Nana was changing that. The way she washing and cleaning the cuts on my back was freaking painful.

I gripped Alexander harder and felt bad for digging my nails into his back, but it was the only way I let some of my frustration out.

He didn't mind though because he held my waist tightly and pressed my body further into his chest.

The position we were in was really intimate and I was surprised to see that Nana wasn't uncomfortable witnessing it.

Alexander was sitting criss cross on the large bathroom tub, that was halfway filled with water, and I was on his lap facing him with my own legs wrapped around him. We were both shirtless and only wearing shorts.

"Luckily, you don't need any stitches but I still need to clean the cuts a couple more times before they could start to heal. An infection was starting to form but I fixed that. So all done for today." Nana informed me, then stood up to take off her gloves that were stained with my blood.

My back was sore from the cleaning but I was happy it was finally under control and over with for today.

I pushed myself a little off of Alexander and stared at his bright eyes that were already looking at me. His eyes seemed to always captivate me with how amazingly nice they were.

I leaned down and pressed my lips on his without caring about the embarrassment of being the one to do it. It was a quick kiss but the way he smiled after made it feel like so much more.

"Thank you, Nana. We'll be down for dinner in a couple of minutes." Alexander said and I watched as Nana left the bathroom with a calm smile and short nod.

It was suddenly quiet and I could feel Alexander staring at me. I turned my head to face him and was met with his wet lips.

I wrapped my arms around his neck and deepened the kiss making it a heated make out session. The water splashed around us a little as Alexander leaned back against the tub.

"So this is why you ditched Robert and I?"

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I flinched in surprise at James loud voice and soon saw him barge into the bathroom with crossed arms. Alexander just glared at him and I suddenly felt uncomfortable in the position we were in.

"James, get the hell out of my room before I make you regret even stepping a foot in here." Alexander threatened and I could see his eyes slightly change color with anger.

I wanted to get off of him and cover myself with something but Alexander wasn't having any of it. He placed his hand on my hip and held me down with it.

"Hey let's not get crazy now, Alex. I'll be waiting downstairs with Robert, so hurry up before I tell everybody your abusing Luke." James stated with a pointed finger and then looked at me.

"What the hell are you talking about, James? I have not layed a single hand on Luke." Alexander replied in a deep voice.

James smirked and approached us. I saw his finger point all over my body in a quick motion.

"I call that abuse. Were you trying to eat the damn boy, Alex? I have never seen so many hickeys and bite marks on a person. " James exclaimed in amusement making my cheeks turn red.

Was it really that bad? I mean I know Alexander sucked a lot of bruises on my body and even bit me, but was it as bad as James made it sound?

Alexander groaned in irritation and helped me stand up. Once he stood beside me, James suddenly made a run for it without looking back.

Why was he running away?

I looked at Alexander in confusion and saw him smiling.

"He knows I'll go through with my word." he stated and stepped out of the tub. He grabbed a towel and helped me step out as well.

I was sore all over and all I wanted to do was finally go to sleep. Alexander took off his wet shorts and dried himself off in a different towel as he handed me the one he was holding.

I did the same and changed into some really soft pajama bottoms and boxer shorts Nana placed on the counter for me. Alexander was now wearing sweatpants and I started to wonder if he had any underwear on?

His sweatpants were hanging low on his hips and I didn't know why I hated the idea of him only wearing that. Especially since we were going downstairs to eat dinner and some maids would be there...

"Something wrong?" Alexander questioned with a raised eyebrow.

I put my shirt on quickly and avoided staring at Alexander, "No." I replied.

I walked out of the bathroom and felt the cuts on my back sting a little from rubbing on my shirt.

"Luke, I think you should wear one of my shirts instead." Alexander said and walked towards his closet where he pulled out a simple black shirt.

He handed it to me and I thanked him before I changed into it. As soon as I did, my cuts weren't so irritated and it felt much better. Plus, the shirt smelled like Alexander so it made me like it even more.

I stood by the door and waited patiently for Alexander to put on more clothes, so we could go downstairs together and have some dinner before we slept.

But all Alexander was wearing was his black sweatpants and I could see the waistband of his briefs when he bended down, so I was happy he was actually wearing underwear.

I guess he isn't planning on wearing a shirt..why does that make me so upset?

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Is it because I don't want anybody else to see his body? Was I being possessive of him?

"Luke, are you sure nothing is wrong?"

I once again removed my gaze from Alexander and nodded, even though I was clearly lying and I can tell Alexander knew.

He was standing in front of me before I knew it and I felt his hand grab my chin to look up at him.

His eyes were searching my face for any type of discomfort or problem.

"Is something bothering you?" he questioned once more and the seriousness in his voice made it clear that he knew I had a problem.

"Uhm..I-I was just wondering i-if you were planning on wearing a shirt?.." I asked knowing my cheeks probably blushed at the question.

Alexander stayed quiet and kept staring at me, making me even more embarrassed for actually asking a stupid question.

"Is that what's making you practically glare at me from across the room? You are just too adorable." Alexander chuckled and lightly kissed my lips before he walked back to his closet.

He pulled out a shirt similar to mine and quickly put it on. I felt relieved that nobody else was going to see him so exposed except for me.

"We're you actually planning to wear a shirt?" I asked him with curiosity. Alexander glanced at me then stood in front of once more.

He grabbed my hand and guided me out the room in a slow pace.

"I wasn't, but you know I would do anything to make you happy. Even if it's putting on a simple shirt..." Alexander told me with a small smile and turned around to keep walking.

I tightened my hold on his hand and just let my body enjoy the sweet words he spoke to me. Everything about Alexander at this point made me blush like crazy and my heart beat race.

Even if he just enters a room, my eyes always want to be stuck on him with every movement he makes. I see the way he has his hard glare towards everybody else but once he catches me staring, the look in his eyes change and it makes me want to melt when he softly smiles at me.

Knowing I'm the only one that makes him change so drastically gives me the best high ever.

There was no doubt in my mind now, that the reason I was feeling this way was because I had fallen in love with the great Alexander...

^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^

...

"Dang look at those beauties! Now those are love bites!"

I hid my face in my pillow and just let Angel talk about the marks on my neck. I'm glad he hasn't seen the ones on my body.

To be honest I loved Alexander's marks on me. It made me feel like I belonged to him and it was an amazing feeling being wanted.

"Hey Luke, want some of these?" I glanced at Angel and nodded.

I grabbed some fluffy looking things from the plastic bowl and inspected them. "What are they?" I questioned and ate one.

"I'm not sure but they taste good." Angel replied and shoved some in his mouth.

Since Alexander left with Robert and James, Angel and I decided to watch some movies in Alexander's room.

I didn't exactly know where they were going but by the huge grin on James face made it clear it wasn't somewhere appropriate.

"Do you know where Alexander, Robert and James were going?" I questioned and covered my legs with the soft blanket.

Angel sat beside me and shrugged, "Out for drinks." he replied.

I stared at the giant tv and saw Tarzan playing. Angel was watching intently since this was also his first time seeing the movie.

It was a relaxing night and I enjoyed being surrounded by soft pillows and blankets with some snacks I've never had before. Plus, Angel was good company so it felt better than being alone.

I would probably worry about Alexander the whole time he was gone if I was left alone.

"Need anything else boys? Enjoying the popcorn?"

We turned our heads and saw Nana by the door with her usual calm smile. The room was dark since it made the movie look better, but the lamp beside the bed lit up the room so it wasn't completely dark.

Nana walked in and saw that the bowel of the fluffy white things were almost gone. So those were 'popcorn'?

"Thanks, Nana." I told her sincerely and saw her smile grow.

She's such a sweet old lady.

She left to get more popcorn and left Angel and I alone again. I wonder what Alexander was doing. I've never gone out for drinks so I had no idea what it meant.

"Angel, what does it mean when somebody goes out for drinks?"

Angel sat criss cross beside me and laughed at my question. He ate some chips and smirked.

"It means hanging out with friends and drinking alcohol. Never leads to anything good that's for sure. " Angel told me with a slight frown.

"You mean like cheating?.." I questioned.

Angel's face basically answered my question just by the way his frown deepened. Alexander wouldn't cheat on me...

"Do you think Robert would cheat on you?" I asked a bit skeptical.

Angel shrugged and ate some more chips, "I don't think so but there is always a first for everything." he stated.

My worries suddenly grew with his reply. I bit my lip nervously and couldn't imagine Alexander touching somebody else.

It hurt really bad just thinking about it.

"Don't even worry about it, Luke. Alexander doesn't look like the cheating type. I mean you guys are dating right?" Angel questioned and waited for my reply.

"I uh don't know..." I told him honestly.

Angel was a bit surprised at my answer and I could even see worry in his eyes that he tried to hide with a forced smile.

"Let's just enjoy the movie, Luke. Negative thoughts are never good." he encouraged and layed back on the pillows.

I did the same and tried to watch the movie but my mind kept questioning what Alexander was doing. Were we even dating?...

"Luke, stop thinking so much about it. I trust Robert so you should do the same with Alexander." Angel spoke up seriously.

"Yeah...I guess you're right." I replied and got comfty on the bed.

An hour later, I fell asleep while the movie played and I woke up with tired eyes. I checked the clock and saw it was three in the morning.

I rubbed my heavy eyelids and saw Angel sleeping beside me. The room was now completely dark and it was very quiet.

Feeling uneasy, I made my way out of the room and walked downstairs. The whole house was quiet and I wondered if Alexander was back yet.

I went to the clean looking kitchen and turned on the light. I heard laughing behind me and was confronted with three drunk men.

Alexander had a very happy smile on his face and Robert was in the same condition. James however, was almost falling asleep on Alexander's side.

All three of them smelled like beer and sweat. It was pretty disgusting.

"Oh heyyyy Lucy!" Robert yelled once he saw me, making everybody stare at me with drunk smiles.

James laughed at Robert's comment and Alexander soon followed.

It was like dealing with children.

"I'm going to bed. Goodnight." I told them and passed by without a simple glance at Alexander.

"Ohhhh n-no..he's mad." I heard Alexander hiccup as I made my way up the stairs, causing me to roll my eyes.

I walked back to the room where Angel still slept peacefully. The cuts on my back were starting to hurt again and my lower back was still sore.

I wanted to sleep so bad but I couldn't since Angel was taking up the whole bed with the position he was sleeping in. I rubbed my tired face in frustration and heard Alexander enter the room.

He almost fell over but he caught himself before he did. I approached him and helped him out.

He smiled kindly at me and started to roughly press kisses on the side of my neck. I guided him towards the bathroom and sat him down on the side of the tub while I turned the water knobs on.

"Have I-I ever to-...told you how uhhh beautiful you are, Luke?"

I ignored Alexander's comment and started to help him take off his shirt, but I paused when I smelled women's perfume on him.

It wasn't a strong scent but it was there...

I shook away my horrible thoughts and continued to help him get undressed. It was killing me to know what he actually did while he was gone, but he wasn't sober enough at the moment to even speak.

Once Alexander was inside the tub his eyes were closed and he was very relaxed.

I stood by the tub and couldn't keep my eyes off that certain mark on his neck I've never seen before...

I leaned closer and inspected the fading red mark. Lipstick stain was smeared a bit on it and I knew it wasn't the mark I gave Alexander...

My whole body slumped in disappointment and sadness. I left the bathroom quickly before Alexander saw the tears that blurred my vision..

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