《broken walls // taeny》5- Help
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Before I could ask about what she means by inspiration, the professor walked in the class.
During class, I was waiting for that moment for class to end so I can drag her out of class and ask her what she means.
All of a sudden, the P.A asks for Tiffany.
Fucking shit!
Tiffany stands and takes her bag with her. Looks like she's not coming back.
I groan and flop my head on my arms.
---
She never did come back.
That got me thinking, I really am stupid. The group wanted to talk to me when I was working. They also wanted to talk to me in school. It was obvious. The voice is the same too. So she really isn't stupid after all.
What got me thinking, why is she so interested in me? Is it the drama that happened in the past that she's interested in? Why does my heart beat so fast when she's around? These questions have been lingering in my head for a good while now.
I was walking when I bumped into someone.
"Sorry." I mumbled loud enough for them to hear, without looking up.
I hear whispering and I'm quiet enough to hear what they're talking about.
"Wow! Taeyeon apologized!"
"She actually might have a heart."
"She's still so hot."
I keep walking until I'm out of the school. I go to the parking lot, and secretly take the path to the bubble tea place.
I put my mask on and I walk into Soshi's Tea. Bomi is already there taking orders. I look around the place and one person catches my eye. The shorty.
She looks towards me and paints a smile across her face. She stands up and runs to hug me.
"How are you?" She asks.
"I'm fine. Thanks." I pat her back and we break apart.
"Why are you here anyways?" I ask her.
"Just making sure you won't run away anymore." The short girl answered.
"I love you guys and you know that." I sighed out.
"Yeah but we are a family Tae. It's not complete without you." She smiles and I didn't reply.
"Well I'll get going now. We're going to help you ok?" She smiles and I nod.
"Bye Soonkyu." I waved at her and she nodded at me.
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I went inside the kitchen and Bomi just smiled. She knows who I am but not fully. She knows I'm hiding and I already know I can trust her.
But when making up with them, won't that be steps away from my bubble? Just by having them back, it means, the history can repeat its self. I can be closer to something bad happening again!
Gosh,who cares if I'm not happy! I just want them to be happy! I don't want to get them into trouble, again.
With a heavy sigh I just get back to work.
---
My work shift ended I immediately leave to go home. Sometimes I like work, it gives me time to think.
I have made my decision.
I get inside my car and drive home. I'm pretty happy I'm living alone. Well besides being alone, I have the whole space to myself. No one can disturb me. If I feel a certain way, no one will disturb me here. I'm free in this household.
I immediately get back to work, so I can start.
When I finish, I start to work out my decision.
As I'm doing it, I hear a knock on the door. Odd, no one ever comes to visit me.
I open the door and it's one of the most unexpected person at the door, Tiffany.
---
"What?" I coldly say, not allowing her to come in.
"Stop acting cold. I already know." She leans on the wall that's not too far behind her.
"Why are you here? Go home." I start to close the door but when I closed it, her hands makes it through causing it to crush.
"Oh shit! Tiffany!" I open the door in an instant and take her hand into my own.
"Why'd you do that?!" I start to shout at her and I dragged her into my apartment.
She's not uttering a word but simply stares into my house. It's not messy, but it's clean.
"To prove that you care for me." I looked at her in confusion, but only to realize I'm holding her hand while applying ice.
"Tch. I hurt you so I have to take responsibility." I reply without looking into her eyes.
"If you really were a cold person, you wouldn't have taken me inside." The eye-smile girl says. There was a hint of admiration seen in her voice.
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"Alright. I'll just get a bandage and then leave." I get up and move to the bathroom to find a bandage.
Once I retrieve the bandage I walk back to the living room, where I last saw her. I see she's not there.
What the hell.
I look through most of the vacant rooms, besides my bedroom of course. But she's not in any of them. She can't be in my bedroom.
I open the door to see her standing in front of my luggages. She's staring at one photo. The photo I've loved for the longest time. The photo that I have cherished since they left me.
"Why are you here." I ask with a deadly tone.
"Why are you leaving?" She looked towards me with teary eyes.
"Don't answer a question with a question. Besides, it's none of your business." I close the luggage and drag her out of my room.
I make her sit on the couch, and I start to wrap her hand with the bandage.
"Taeyeon... You looked happy." She starts. I didn't reply.
"Don't you want to be happy? Did you ever cut?" She asks with a worried tone. Reminds me of her.
"Everyone wants happiness. For me, I just want others to be happy. If they are happy that's enough. I do what I do so they will stay happy. I don't cut because I believe it's not worth it. It won't solve any problems, besides, cutting is usually for people who have problems or is sad. I am not sad nor have problems." I finish wrapping her hand.
"Sometimes you need to be selfish." She stretches her hand to test if it hurts.
"Sometimes. I'm not leaving. I'm simply going back to Jeonju just to meet some really important people." I reply.
"For how long?"
"2 weeks." I state.
"You're just running away aren't you?" She stands up her eyes locked with mine.
"What happens if I am?" I stand up too keeping the eye to eye contact.
She doesn't reply.
"I hardly even know you." I chuckled and she never broke the contact.
"Then let's become familiar with each other." She suggests but I shake my head.
"No. I can't do that. One step out of my routine is one step closer to danger. One step out of my bubble. Being alone protects the people around me. Being alone allows them to be happier. My depressing self just spreads and everyone will feel what I feel, maybe less." I turn my head away and clench my jaw.
"You have a nice jaw line. You never know what will happen in the future. It's not being naive, it's just living in the present. You're keeping your mind on the past, on the horrible events that took place in your life. Live in the present." She holds my hand but surprisingly I didn't let go.
"You don't know me. You don't know who I am." She squeezes it tighter.
"Then help me to know you." She takes both my hands and smiles at me.
What an odd girl.
"I can't answer you at the moment. But what did you mean by inspiration?" I recalled our conversation that took place in class.
"I'm inspired by how selfless you are. You love people more than yourself. You want to protect people in spite of living a lonely life. You cover yourself so they can be protected. You want no one to approach you so nothing out of the ordinary will happen." I looked into her eyes and it sparkled.
I'm thoroughly speechless. Yes my heart is beating but no one has ever told me that besides her. Not Tiffany, her.
"You captivate me Kim Taeyeon." Shocked, I look at her and her eyes are painted with sincerity.
"There's nothing to be captivated about." I chuckle in sadness but she cups my face.
"Taeyeon-ah. Don't be scared to be happy. Just live your life." She starts to move her thumb back and forth.
I try not to smile at the comfort I'm receiving and I actually didn't smile. My ears are probably red though.
"I can't. It's terrifying. The world is a cruel place where even friends turn their backs on you, they turn it to the point where they loose their mind. They turn it to the point where your loved ones are not seen on this world anymore." I said with teary eyes.
"Then let me help you."
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