《HIS SHADES OF LIFE》Chapter 59
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Meaning of the quotes in picture☝️:
I was secretly broked,
If I had fall,
the reconnaissance would be noisy..
_________________________________________________
Third person's POV :-
Its the same chilli night with the whole city of ireland covered in white glistening snow. Small lamps hanged on the branches of trees, but the hard-work of the small lamp is still didn't made it to shine or brighten up but made it to look beautiful as if fireflies were covering the huge tree in the backyard of Nooré cheshm-am.
A perfect weather for the united lovers to spend together and a curse to the ones who are apart. Something so similar is experienced by the Unbreakable Mafia of Red Devils. Prophet Muhammad sallallahu alaihi wasallam once said "For one of you get stabbed with a rode in the head instead to touch or see a person(men/women) who is not permissible to you is good.". The hadith itself is an leading explanation for us to save ourselves from the torment of this world and the hereafter.
"I now knew why it is haram (forbidden/illegal) to look at another woman." Shahzaib said with a sad smile, sitting on the bench in the backyard and looking at the tree.
"Allah, My whole life I didn't desire for any woman nor I put my glance at one. I guess when I put my first glance at farah, that's where I have sinned and than it went on leading my thoughts which never came for a woman but than started coming for her. She became my stubborness and I hurted many in the way to win her for me. Ya Allah.." Shahzaib rubbed his face with his hands and cleared his throat.
"I know I am becoming selfish day by day and more greedier, but I can't do anything but to afraid of being all alone. I..for the once loved someone truly but didn't waited for your answer to this decision but took advantage of every situation of their poor standard. I know...I know this is my punishment for hurting them. I am sorry Allah, please forgive me." Shahzaib cried while putting forward his hands together and looking up at the heaven.
"I know I am still sinning and shahnoor is innocent I know but what can I do Ya Rabbul-Alamin? I can't show up my weakness nor I can let her go instead to just make her stay by commanding or forcing her. My heart couldn't bring itself to love anyone else, I have married her and ruined her life which has a long way to go just for my selfishness. YA Allah, I don't know if I would ever be able to make myself love her or not but I won't deceive my iman and will always fulfill my duties of a husband. Caring and respecting her despite of my mood, I will try my best. She is young and has a kid's mentality, I have seen her how she started looking at me in such a different way yet I can't let lead this fantasies of her." Shahzaib look down than stood up, taking a deep breath he walked back inside the palace.
On the way towards his room, he saw someone sitting near the bonfire. He walked close to the backfacing man.
"What are you doing at this time?" Shahzaib asked as he took a seat on the big comfy single seat sofa.
"Eating." Firoz replied, busy eating the mutton korma and rice that shahnoor made.
"Haven't you eaten before?" Shahzaib asked, Firoz just shook his head in negative. Shahzaib sighed, knowing that firoz is trying to ignore him and he is well aware of the reason.
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"I am sorry for what I have said in the kitchen, I was just-"
"You were just being suspicious about our relationship." Firoz cut him off, still looking at the bonfire and stuffing another spoon full in his mouth.
"What?" Shahzaib asked, knitting his brows together.
"Weren't you bhai?" Firoz asked, this time looking at shahzaib.
Shahzaib knew that firoz won't let him go, so he just tried to cover it up.
"Look firo-"
"No bhai, you listen to me first. The man sitting infront of me I have always took him as my idol person. I always want to become like you but never wanted to doubt my wife with someone else while she just shared a normal moment with anyone. I can't force my moods and feelings on her. Farah bhabhi didn't love you nor she did anything good to you but that doesn't mean you'll doubt everyone around you. Raees uncle's family is with you because of your money, farah bhabhi was with you cause of her father's debt but I, akib and shahnoor has no profit being with you only for your wealth. Shahnoor's family maybe poor but she never asked for your money nor your help instead she worked hard to ease her parents problem, what is it that making you doubt our relationship? She even call me bhai (brother), now what proof do you need? You wanted me to stay away from her just because you can't trust us. What's so wrong we did to loose that trust of yours? You and I both know that shahnoor is saying the truth, if she would have knew where farah is than instead of going through such humiliation from you, she would have told you of her whereabouts." Firoz completed, looking at bonfire.
Shahzaib couldn't form any words to say, he finds each and every word of firoz a face punching truth. Shahzaib can't deny the reality but he don't want to face it either. He sighed looking down than stood up and put his right hand on firoz's head.
"You and shahnoor has grown up well, facing the reality of this world instead of enjoying the fake beauty and happiness of this world and its people give us. I am sorry for doubting you both, I am the worst one here but remember it, its not my choice to be the one. I can only hope you both to understand me and endure me at my worst." Shahzaib said with heavy heart.
"Don't stay up whole night, go to sleep as soon as you complete your food." Shahzaib ruffled firoz's hair and left without them both saying anything.
Shahnoor's POV :-
"You completed your salah?" Ammi asked as I fold the dupatta.
"Ji Ammi, just about to get ready." I said, walking towards the dresser.
"Ammi." I called her, applying the kohl in my eyes.
"Humm?" She asked, sitting on the bed.
"How do baba accepted everything so easily?" I asked, having doubt of baba being so understanding.
"I..I didn't told him about your marriage." Ammi said, looking down.
I halted and look at her. Last night she told me that baba accepted everything and now she is saying that she lied to me? Ya Allah!
"Ammi? What are you saying? You told me las-"
"Yes, I have told you but it was a lie cause I wanted you to rest. You look so tired, I didn't want your baba to shout on you." Ammi said, stressing out.
"Ammi..but what we will say now that he is about to come?" I asked her, politely.
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"I don't know, we should have to say the truth shahno. We can't hide it for long enough." Ammi said, making me tired for real now.
Ya Allah, I thought baba accepted everything without making a fuss of it and I didn't have to deal his wrath but No! When did life became a smooth butter on the pancake? I am tired of dealing with everyone.
"Don't worry too much beta, I'll handle it." Ammi said.
"No, you can't do it. I have to do it after all it is me who got into this mess." I said, worrying about my ammi being hit by baba again.
. . . . . . . . . . . . . .
"Baba, I....have...to go..back." I said, with nervous tone, sitting on the sofa.
There is a silence for a moment, in which I tried to recite each and every surah I remember.
"Hmm..Will you be okay?" Baba asked, looking in the newspaper with his specks on.
I am shocked to hear what he asked? I mean doesn't he want to know where am I going?
"Baba.. I mean..I.. actually..its...I.."
"Don't be nervous," Baba said, folding his paper and keeping it on the table.
He look at me, his expressions were all cool down and he than put his hand on my head.
"Tell me, tell me everything that happened after he took you." Baba said, making my heart melt.
I look towards ammi, standing near the open window of the kitchen. Taking in a deep breath, I told him each and everything in detail. Even about yesterday, baba looked sad and his eyes were furious.
"Baba, please don't be sad." I said, taking his large right hand in mine.
"I..I cannot do anything but to apologize to you and your mother and your brother. I am sorry everyone, I failed being a good husband and father. Meri beti (My daughter)," he cares my face than put my head on his chest and started stroking my back.
"I wish I would have understood everything long ago, you, your mother and brother doesn't needed to face the world's humiliation and hate. I have realised everything after shahzaib took you as if you are nothing, he doesn't realise that you are someone's dignity and pride. My dignity and pride, My daughter. You have done a lot for your baba meri beti (my daughter)," He said breaking the hug and making me look at him.
"Oh, look at you all messed up." He said cleaning my face with his handkerchief.
'Why does everything reminds me of him? I now knew why he gives me an aura of Father figure, taking care of me like one.' I thought reminded by this gesture of baba.
"Baba, how do you know?" I asked, taking his large hands in mine.
"I overheard your mother's and your conversation this morning when I woke up to pray." He said, looking down with his tired eyes.
'And here I was getting afraid that how will I reveal this to baba, Ya Allah, you are the best one. Alhamdulillah you helped me out of this unwanted situation.'
"But now you don't need to face anything alone," Baba said caressing my face with his left hand.
"I am with you, you don't need to go anywhere. I will face him this time." He said, I gulp thinking of the consequences and what he is capable of doing.
"But..baba..what..if he will..hurt you?" I asked.
"Nothing like that will happen, he won't do it. You only need to answer whenever I ask you anything infront of him but first tell me," Baba said, looking at me with seriousness in his eyes.
"Do you want to go with him?"
. . . . . . . . . . . . . .
After half an hour, the door bell rang. My heart drop when abdullah went to open the door.
'Ya Allah..'
I heard his foot steps approaching in the hallway. Soon he came standing in front of us in his navy blue pathani, looking all mesmerizingly handsome. Anyone besides me would have said that, his blue ocean eyes, looking nowhere but me.
'Even his gaze talks more than his mouth.' I sighed looking away.
"Assalamu alaikum." He said in his deep rough tone.
"Walaikum assalam." Baba replied calmly.
"Why are you standing? Have a seat." Baba said, he look at me before nodding.
I stood next to the window which is opposite of where he is sitting, means he can easily read out my expressions. Baba is sitting in front of him, I can already feel the tension in the air. Afraid of what will happen, I kept on playing with my hands together and obviously trying to not to look at him.
"Rukhsar, bring us tea and breakfast." Baba said in a little loud tone, so that ammi could hear him in the kitchen.
"No, its okay I have to g-"
"Its okay, you should relax. Looks like you didn't have enough sleep last night." Baba said. He sighed before nodding.
"I-"
"Shahnoor," Baba cut him off by calling me.
"Ji baba (yes father)." I said looking at baba's back.
"You should go and help your mother." Baba said in a light tone.
"Ji." I said and went to the kitchen, still could feel his gaze on my back.
"What happened?" Ammi asked as I came in the kitchen.
"Nothing yet, he will surely do something unacceptable." I said, looking anxiously at the chopping board.
"Don't worry, lets serve this." Ammi said.
"If-"
"Oh, the breakfast is here." Baba again cut him off.
We kept the breakfast on the table and I started pouring the tea in the cups. After giving baba the cup, I walked towards him and gave him with neutral expression. He took it without any word but I know he wanted to say something.
"Baba, I am gonna get ready for school." Abdullah said as he stood up from the dining table after having his breakfast.
"Ok beta, get ready I'll drop you." Baba said.
After Abdullah went in his room, ammi told me she is gonna wash the dishes and walked away. I took a seat next to baba, feeling all awkward.
"I know," Baba started, I look at him.
"I know whatever happened wasn't right, but it wasn't in our hands though." Baba said, taking few sips between than keeping the cup on the table.
"You were angry, which is not your fault at all. Shahzaib, I and zuber will going to file farah's missing report in the police and soon they will find her." Baba said as he look at him
He seem to be calm at the moment but I know he doesn't even like to hear her name, whatever she did was wrong. A storm is going on within him and I can see it in his furious eyes.
"My shahno, she is good person. She is attached to her sister farah but I know she won't do anything that will harm us or put our dignity down. She didn't helped her runaway like that." Baba said than look towards me with a light smile as he cares my side head.
"You didn't do it, right meri bacchi?" Baba asked me.
I shook my head as I hug him.
"No baba, I didn't did it. I won't do anything like that." I said.
"I believe you and I know that shahzaib also believes you." Baba said.
"What are you trying to say?" He asked this time, putting the cup down.
"You very well know it shahzaib, she is innocent and you had also misunderstood. You can't punish others, leave it upon the one who is capable of punishing the wrong doers." Baba said.
"And who is he?" He asked.
"Allah." Baba replied, he sighed.
"I don't wanna talk more, baccha go wear your abaya. We are going home." He said, standing up.
"She isn't going anywhere." Baba said, standing up as well.
"And who will stop me from taking her?" He asked.
"You can't take her shahzaib, now that you know she is innocent. I am telling you we will find farah, we are going to file her missi-"
"The ones you are talking about are the ones who needs red devils. They are the ones who can't even do things we do, even the government took our help to execute their master plans and you are saying they will find her." He said with low grip tone.
"If you are that powerful than why haven't you able to search for her? Why are you punishing my daughter?" Baba asked with high tone at listening to which ammi and abdullah came out.
"Its not like that I can't find her but I am not trying to find her." He said, making us shock.
What does he mean by that? Why isn't he trying to find her? Don't he love her anymore?
"Why aren't you doing so?" Baba asked.
"I am afraid.. that I'll kill her." He said with deadliest gaze, making my heart drop.
"I don't like traitors, I can't stand them for a moment." He continued.
I look at him with blurry vision, Ya Allah I am so scared by his reaction now.
"Now are you going to wear your abaya or not?!" He suddenly asked, no actually shouted making me flinch.
I stood at my ground, not moving a inch. I felt his furious gaze on me, I kept looking down with tears flowing down on my cheeks.
"Shahzaib, please beta listen to us. She is underaged and cannot be with you." Ammi tried to be polite with him.
"There's no need of anyone to tell me what to do or what not. Shahnoor is my wife! No one, No one can change that fact!" He said with authority lacing in his voice.
"Bu-"
"Aren't you coming?!" He quickly grabbed my arms in his strong gripped, making it hurt badly.
"Look at me," he said upon me not looking at him.
"Meri taraf dekho shahnoor..(Look at me shahnoor)" this time his voice is soft.
I closed my eyes as tears flowed down my cheeks than open them before looking at him. His hard expression were now changed but they aren't soft either yet hard to explain.
"Do you too beleive or started believing what this people says?" He asked, but why?
I don't know what to say or I don't know what he wants to hear but all I know is that I can't look at him any longer. I don't deserve such punishment nor I deserve this situations I am going through. I don't see any end of this journey, I can't even guess the ending.
"ANSWER ME!" He shouted, making me flinch but than I stood still looking down.
His large shaky hands which are now cold as ice has cupped my face, forcing my face towards him.
"MERI TARAF DEKHO SHAHNOOR! (LOOK AT ME SHAHNOOR!)" He yelled, jerking me like a doll.
I gulped before clutching the sides of my kurti and closing my eyes.
"Mujhe..(I..)" I tried to gain courage before spitting out my feelings.
"Mujhe..*looking away with deep breath* Mujhe aapke saath nahi jaana. (I..I don't want to go with you.)" I said with all my courage than lifted my gaze towards him.
"I believe what everyone says." I continued.
He smiled with bitter expression and nodding his head before releasing my face. Turning away for a moment he suddenly grabbed my shoulders making me afraid of his sudden actions.
"I am not giving you choices here baccha, either you go and wear your abaya or else I'll take you without it. By me taking you from here means a drama will be created again and maybe this time your family won't have another chance." He said in low warning tone, his eyes all red with unsheded tears.
"You can't do that." I whispered getting afraid of his threat.
"You know what I am capable of..right baccha?" He said, raising a brow.
"Shahzaib, stop forcing my daughter like that! You have no right to do so!" Baba shouted.
"Oh trust me sasurji (father-in-law), I didn't even started to use my rights. When I will do so..you won't be able to see your daughter." He said with a smirk.
"Stop it! Why are you doing this? You know I am innocent, now you can leave me than WHY AREN'T YOU LEAVING ME?!" I asked, yelling at the end.
"MEIN TUMHE KABHI NAHI CHHODUNGA, KABHI NAHI! (I WILL NEVER LEAVE YOU, NEVER!)" He yelled, pulling me into him.
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