He says he'd definitely wanna know if I love him, then how doesn't he understand that I would too?

I love being with him and I love falling in love with him, but it's starting to tug at my heartstrings, knowing that he can't tell me he loves me. I start to wonder why. Is it because he doesn't love me? Doesn't he think I deserve hearing that? It's getting a little exhausting, having him by me all the time, him treating me like he loves me, like I'm all his and he's all mine, but he won't say it.

He can't or he won't, I don't know. But I'm not hearing it. And even though actions speak louder than words, the words matter. They always do. When he told me he wanted to wait until he told me he loved me, that gave me hope, it became a promise. A promise that he'd love me someday, he'd tell me he loved me someday. Now that hope is lost. I don't want to say it's completely lost, I'm holding on. For a little longer.

I don't want to lose him, but how can I love someone who can't even say they love me?

While all this went through my head, he was dozed off beside me, the sun starting to rise through the cracks in his blinds. I took the opportunity and said it while he was still asleep. I leaned in closer to him, holding the side of his face in my hand, my thumb caressing his cheek gently.

I leaned in, softly kissing his lips which he faintly kissed back in his sleep. "I love you, Noah," I whispered.

"Mm," he grunted, shuffling around and changing his sleeping position until he was clutching onto my waist tightly, his head resting in the crook of my neck while I ran my fingers through his hair, giving my eyes a rest and closing them.

I love him.

I woke up the next morning to an empty bed which led to an immediate frown settling down on my face. I sat up, rubbing my eyes. I have to get home. I slowly climbed out and walked over to his dresser, grabbing a pair of socks for my cold feet and slipping them on, the part that was supposed to sit on your heel, sitting way up higher than it should.

I threw my hair up in a bun and then realized that the shower water was running. I hummed while trying the door, finding it open. I pushed it further and slipped into the bathroom, closing the door as faintly as I could behind me. The curtain was closed and I could hear him sigh in relief under the sprays of water while steam came out from the top of the curtain.

I had a very bright idea of joining him in the shower and seducing him into admitting that he loves me, but that's not a good idea at all, actually. If he loves me, he should be the one telling me independently rather than me making him confess.

But everyone needs a little push sometimes, right?

Not for love, Bella.

Especially for love, Bella.

I walked over, my socked feet padding against the rug until I reached the curtain. I pulled it open, peeking my head in, not letting my eyes wander and keeping them glued to his face. "Hi," I said.

His eyes shot open and he jumped, probably startled. "Whoa, hi," he laughed, his hand on his chest, "You scared the shit out of me."

"Sorry," I smiled, rubbing my eye.

"Goodmorning," he grinned.

"Goodmorning," I replied, "I was gonna head back home, I thought I'd say bye before I changed and stuff," I informed him.

"Why are you leaving?" he frowned.

"I gotta get home," I chuckled.

"Not yet," he shook his head.

"I gotta get home and then come back here tonight," I said.

"Not yet," he said, standing his ground.

"Then when?" I lifted a brow at him.

"Once you've showered," he shrugged, "With me."

"Ha, funny," I rolled my eyes, taking a step back, letting the curtain fall shut.

"I'm serious, come on, I've seen you naked, now you've seen me naked, and neither of those times was during sex because we haven't done that yet. Come on," he said, peeking his head out like I had been. His eyes fell down to my feet and he smiled, "Are those my socks?"

"Yeah, my feet got cold," I shrugged.

"You look cute," he grinned.

"You look... naked."

"I wonder why," he scoffed, "Come on, please?" he begged, sticking his bottom lip out.

"Noah," I half sighed, half chuckled.

"Please?" he pouted.

I stared at him for a while, giving in. No seducing.

Yes seducing.

No, Bella, no seducing. I shook my head, taking the socks off before letting my hair down. I slipped my underwear off while the shirt still covered me down to my knees and hesitated at the shirt.

He closed the curtain, "Look, I'm not even looking anymore," he said from behind the curtain.

"Noah, I'm going to be late, you know," I said while grabbing the hem of the shirt.

"Late for what? Do you have plans?" he asked.

"No, but I'll be late for... going home. Jesus, okay," I sighed in defeat, giving up and refusing to think too much into this or getting self-conscious now.

He's right, it's not a big deal. It doesn't have to be a dirty, sexual moment if we don't want it to be. Showers with someone can be romantic and sweet too.

I tossed the shirt and socks in the hamper before locking the door. I opened the curtain, peeking my head in. "Hi."

"Hi," he grinned.

"Close your eyes," I ordered.

"Okay," he said, covering his eyes with his palm and even turning around.

I slowly stepped in, careful not to slip, and then closed the curtain. "I feel like I should have turned the lights off," I mumbled.

"I want to see you," he said.

"Then I'm getting out of here," I chuckled.

"No," he said, pulling his arm down and slowly turning around, "You're not going anywhere." He stared at me, I stared at him, and surprisingly, neither of our eyes wandered. Our eyes were locked and we were both too far deep into a trance for one of us to look away and break it. "I don't have... conditioner?" he mumbled.

I laughed, "That's okay."

"Good," he nodded before stepping closer and kissing me. I leaned against the wall, the cold tiles causing chills to erupt everywhere. He grabbed my waist and turned us around so I was under the water, drenched within seconds. He pulled away, leaning against the wall, staring at me with a dazed smile.

"What?" I chuckled, pushing my hair back.

"You look really beautiful," he shrugged. I grinned before grabbing the shampoo bottle. His shampoo smelt like apples.

The forbidden fruit, ha.

This fruit in front of me isn't so forbidden.

I squeezed some shampoo into my palm and shampooed my hair thoroughly, him watching me the whole time. "Are you here to just stand under the water?" I chuckled. He was too lost to answer. I grabbed the bottle after rinsing my hair and squeezed some onto his head. I wish I was a little taller for this, but oh well.

I stood on my toes for a little bit, running my fingers through his hair, massaging the shampoo in for him. He closed his eyes and let out a small hum in appreciation. "Is that okay?" I asked.

"Better than okay," he mumbled.

I massaged his scalp, letting the shampoo sit for longer than normal before pulling him under the shower. He kept his eyes closed while I rinsed it out for him. His hands went around my waist, holding me steadily while I wiped his eyes so he could open them. "There you go," I whispered. He opened his eyes, staring down at me with water droplets sprayed all over his face, his hair still dripping water down in a single trail. "Now you smell like apples," I chuckled softly.

"Now you smell like me," he smiled, brushing my hair away. His hand settled, holding the side of my face, his thumb gently brushing my cheek.

This moment made me wish he was awake this morning when I told him I loved him. But then I would feel the long awaiting punch in the gut when he doesn't say it back.

"Bella," he mumbled.

"Hmm?" I asked, pushing his hair back.

"I heard what you said," he whispered.

"What did I say?" I asked, oblivious to what he was talking about.

"I heard what you said this morning when you thought I was asleep," he clarified.

I froze. My hands in his hair froze and dropped, my body froze, the smile fell off my lips in a snap, my eyes were trapped in his. "What did you hear?" I asked, my voice barely crawling out of my throat.

"You told me you love me," he answered. He really did hear it.

"Noah, I told you last night that you don't have to say it first and you don't have to say it back. I just wanted you to know, that's it," I shrugged.

He shook his head and I felt my heart drop. "You shouldn't have said it," he said.

"Why?" I whispered.

"Because I wanted to tell you first," he said.

"But you-"

"I was going to tell you tonight."

"What?" I asked, utterly confused.

"Bella, I was going to tell you tonight. I was going to admit that I... that I love you."

"I'm suddenly not in the mood to leave," I laughed, kissing him immediately.

"Good, cause you're not going anywhere today," he mumbled against my lips.

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