Camryn

When I woke up the next morning, I felt disoriented under the weight of something. I opened my eyes, realizing that Derek was still lying in the bed next to me with his arm draped over my body. He must have fallen asleep last night before he could go to his own room. I had to admit that it felt good to wake up to him like that, but I tried to shut off that mindset before it even started.

The awkwardness between us before I got the picture was still looming in the air and I knew he'd want to talk about it once things settled down. I wanted to avoid that for as long as possible, though, so I wiggled out from underneath him and did my best not to disturb him or Riley as I snuck out of the room.

It was quiet in the apartment and, as I stepped out on the balcony, I felt sad that we were going to be leaving this place. We'd only been here a few days, but it felt so magical. We were so high in the sky you could see for miles, and it was like we were in our little world. It had felt a little like home, and once again, we were leaving. Kids were resilient, but Riley was having to deal with so much in such a short amount of time I was getting a little worried. She was incredibly attached to Derek, and when he left, it would be heartbreaking for her.

I had let my guard down again last night with Derek, and this morning I was kind of regretting it. The more I let him in, the more I was just setting myself up for failure and heartbreak of my own. He came rushing back like the knight in shining armor he was, and I had let him save me once again. The only problem was I needed to figure out how to save myself.

The door opened behind me, and I turned to see him.

"You're up early." He joined me at the railing. "Couldn't sleep?"

"I actually slept really well. I just wanted to come out here and take advantage of our last minutes with a view like this." I leaned against it, folding my hands together.

"You'll like the new place even better, if you can believe that." Derek flashed me a dimpled grin. "It's my favorite out of all my properties."

"How many houses do you own in Canada?"

"A few." He smirked. "You can never have too many safe houses in my line of work."

"Yes, I've heard the financial industry is highly dangerous." I teased. I was well aware of the fact that Derek was involved in some seriously shady shit. He just hid it behind his legal, financial company.

"She's got jokes this morning." He laughed. "I'm glad to see it, even if you are giving me a hard time."

We stood in silence for a few minutes, and then Derek spoke again.

"So you want to tell me why you've been so standoffish the last few days...?"

"Standoffish?" I frowned. "I've just been trying to give you space."

Derek let out a sharp laugh. "Space? Why?"

I could already feel the embarrassment blanketing my cheeks. "I thought that's what you wanted. Isn't that why you went back to New York?"

Derek looked at me, completely dumbfounded. "Camryn, I went to New York because I needed to take care of some things for work. Exactly like I told you."

"Oh." I blushed, looking away. "I just thought..."

"You thought I was trying to get away from you?" He arched his eyebrow at me.

"Well... yeah. It was the day after we kissed the first time and I guess I thought you might be having seconds thoughts."

Derek shook his head. "You are something else, you know that?"

When I didn't respond, Derek grabbed my chin, locking eyes with me. "I'm not having second thoughts. Not for one single second have I had second thoughts about how I feel about you. Maybe I was trying to give you a little space, but the only reason for that is because I want to be respectful of you and where you're at mentally right now."

I let out a heavy breath, his words sweeping an enormous weight off of me. I'd worked myself up so much about and envisioned this conversation happening so differently.

"That voice inside your mind that is saying anything otherwise is Robby. He's made you feel so unworthy for so long that you can't even recognize when something is for real. And someday I'm going to cure you of that. But until then, I'll say it as much as you need. I want you Camryn. I'm not going anywhere."

I chewed on my lip, absorbing his words. Suddenly I felt silly for ever doubting that. Derek was incredible. He had been about every single part of this, and the fact that he was standing on this balcony professing his feelings for me was almost more than I could take. He was right. My idea of a relationship or even attraction was so skewed because of Robby.

Before I could even answer, Derek put his hand to my cheek, pulling me into him. He pressed his lips to mine gently at first, and then kissing me with a feverish hunger, a desperation that warmed every inch of my body. It made my toes tingle, and my stomach fluttered with the force of a thousand butterflies with his arms around me. Even when things were good with Robby, he never kissed me with the ferocity and passion that I felt in this moment with Derek.

His fingers intertwined in my hair, and he pulled back gently as I melted into him. Slipping his tongue inside of my mouth, he held me as if he was put on this earth to do nothing but that. It was electrifying and overwhelming in the best way possible. If I felt so swooned with just his kiss, who knew what would happen when he went further?

Derek pulled back, and a smug smile tugged at his lips. "Are you convinced yet? Or should I continue?"

"Definitely continue." I smiled, wrapping my arms around his neck. All the inhibitions I was feeling evaporated, and the more he kissed me, the more confident I became.

The way his tongue traced circles in my mouth made me dizzy. He was so damn good at this. He clearly had plenty of practice at this, and again, I felt inadequate. Robby and I got together so quickly, and he was really the only thing I knew. I tried to shove those thoughts away, though. Derek was right. It was his voice trying to knock me down and make me insecure. What did I have to be insecure about when this gorgeous, incredible man was wrapped around me and kissing me as if his life depended on it?

After a few minutes, Derek pulled away so we could both catch our breath. A passionate kiss had turned into a steamy make-out session, and I knew it was dangerously close to developing into even more.

"Do you ever get tired of being so perfect?" I interlaced our fingers together, drawing myself back to reality.

"I'm far from perfect, Cam. Believe me." He laughed. "I have a list a mile long of people who would highly disagree with you."

"I don't see it. You're absolutely perfect in my eyes."

"And that's the only opinion that matters to me." He kissed me again, but this time, it was softer and more intentional. "What do you say we go get started on breakfast? Riley will be up soon."

I arched my eyebrows at him. "You promised her brownies again. You think she'll let you forget that?"

"Yikes. I forgot about that." He winced. "How do you think she's doing with everything?"

I shrugged. "I think it's new and exciting for her now, but I'm worried about how she'll feel in a few weeks when that wears off, and she realizes she won't see him ever again. He was a pretty decent father."

"She deserves more than a pretty decent father."

"Of course she does." I agreed. "But he's all she knows and I'm worried about how I'm going to fill both those jobs for her."

"You don't have to. I can help." Derek put his arm around me. "Cam, leaving him was the best thing you ever could have done for her. It may be a change, but someday she'll see that."

I hoped she was right. I hoped she didn't grow to resent me for the choices I was making.

I had to admit, my mind wandered when Derek offered to help me with her. The idea of being a parenting team was almost like a fairytale. I pictured us taking turns reading her stories at night, and him checking the closet for monsters. I pictured him being next to me while we cheered her on at soccer games or gymnastics meets. Helping her study for math tests and taking her to the museum. There was so much a father should be a part of, and even if it was premature, I was starting to picture Derek in that role for her.

"How do you want to approach telling her about us?" He asked apprehensively. "She's a smart girl. Even if we keep trying to hide it, she's going to know something is going on."

"Right." I nodded. "I just... I don't want her to be confused. And I don't want her to get comfortable with something only for it to charge."

"I understand that, but I think I've made it pretty clear what my intentions are here. I don't anticipate anything changing. I want to be a part of both of your lives forever."

He really was so sweet. I wanted that too, but things were happening so quickly and we had no idea if we were really even compatible. Taking Riley seemed like a huge step forward and I wasn't sure in was ready for it.

"How about I just file your lead on it?" He suggested. "Whatever you want her to know, we'll tell her and just take it day by day."

"That sounds perfect." I smiled, laying my head down on his shoulder. All of it was perfect. His plan, this view, the way his hand got into mine.

It was exactly what I had dreamed of for so long.

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***If you or someone you know is experiencing domestic violence of any kind, please reach out to someone in your community. In the US, that number is 1-800-799-7233**