《butterfly; tsukishima kei》22
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three weeks.
three weeks of always visiting miyagi, getting tired of being in the hospital and hearing the screams of the other patients. geting traumatized each time a patient is declared dead and i hope that it won't happen to anyone again.
three weeks of doing part-time jobs after school and dealing with unfinished projects. to top it off, i failed two subjects in the exam. i never told anyone, not even kenma or kuroo, not even my own father. each day i went home, the more his figure become weaker. the more my father barely breathes.
each time i would visit the hospital, i would be lucky enough to meet tsukishima there also. coincidence sometimes, but at this point, i'm completely forgetting about him because of so many other things that's ruining my life right now. our silence isn't calm nor peaceful, it was filled with guilt and fear, sadness and anger.
the more the weeks pass by, the more we become distant to each other.
"how's your mother?" i asked quietly, my voice shaking while staring at my aunt's room.
"surviving." he mumbled, heads down with no expression on his face.
everytime we would comfort each other, it would just give this hint of pain and pity. we would see ourselves in each other's eyes, knowing well that we can't do anything about this. the more i look at him, the more i see myself suffering and breaking also. and i can say that he sees the same thing too.
we were both hopeless and helpless.
"and your aunt?" he asked in a low tone of voice, still not making any eye contact.
"unconscious."
i knew that they lost to aoba johsai. oikawa has told me that and i'm pretty sure that tsukishima's mood has been ruined even more. despite him not showing any interest, his eyes says the opposite.
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from the last two weeks, i would see him visiting tokyo again. we would walk in silence, trying to find the right words to say to each other. our usual teasing, flirting and peaceful silence had faded away in each week that pass by.
and i started wondering, is cupid demanding back his arrow?
"what should w—"
i was cut off with the sound of a door opening loudly, tsukishima's brother coming out in horror. he was panicking and tsukishima quickly stood up to ask, but the doctors and nurses started rushing inside the room. i watched with my eyes widened and mouth almost hanging open.
i saw that the can of soda that tsukishima was drinking almost fell to the ground so i caught it. his face was at shock and panic as he watched the doctor who's trying to treat his mother. i didn't look, i couldn't look as i kept on hearing the cries of his brother, the orders of the doctors and deadly silence coming from tsukishima.
my eyes averted back to my aunt's room, tears streaming down my face in hope that it won't happen to her too. i gripped the can of soda tightly, wanting to run away, but i was glued to my spot with my eyes never leaving the room.
"we're hopeless."
i hear tsukishima mumbled to himself as his eyes stared at horror inside the room. his face was blank, but held the hint of traumatize on it. i can see his hands shaking and his body trembling, but as he took a step backward away from the room and back at me.
our eyes never met again.
he ran away, passing by my figure and i could only stand there. not daring to turn around as my eyes averted to the soda can on my hand.
cupid got back his arrows.
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