The saddest part of having depression is the never ending mood swings: the sadness, sorrow, the short lived happiness and the self-pity. Everything looks wrong in your eyes, and every little mistake will make you feel worthless and stupid.

~

Vivian

~

"Hit it harder. Don't hold back; hit like you're hitting your fucking enemy!" Coach Evans yells, making me hit the punching bag with more force.

"You're doing great, Viv!" Selena shouts, standing far away from us, whining in fear every now and then.

Dad on the other hand is standing a meter or two away, clapping whenever I get my aim right.

"You're doing amazing," He says to me whenever I take a break, helping me take sips of water.

It's Friday, which means training.

My father has been taking me to the gym since I could remember, and when I turned fifteen he allowed me to begin training. And as the years went by he started allowing me to work on the harsher and heavier stuff.

Being the heir to one of the largest mafias, I need to know how to fight, shoot, and fight again.

My father has a lot of power, and with power comes enemies. Of course I have protection, but that doesn't mean I have to be too comfortable.

I have to be prepared for anything and everything. We can be under attack at any given time and even though I know that I would be protected, I would still want to be in on the action.

I have been in a few fights, and I have won all of them.

The thrill I get when I fight is unexplainable. The adrenaline rushes through my body like a waterfall; it's fast and exciting, for me of course.

Every kick, every punch, every gun shoot... It excites me and relaxes me at the same time.

I'm a violent person when provoked, but I'm also peaceful, only loud when my close ones are near.

Being conscious of my environment is something that has been with me since my childhood, and I don't think it will ever change.

I'm a fighter and I know that nothing and no one can bring me down... I wasn't raised weak.

"Woah!" Selena yells as the punching bag explodes, fear as well as shock in her voice.

Coach Evans, who was standing a few feet away moves further away from me.

I can smell the fear in the room, and I have to admit that it is satisfying. Because I know that I am doing everything right.

The man wanted me to hit the punching bag hard, and I did as instructed.

"I think that's enough training for today." Dad says after a few minutes, walking towards me, removing the boxing gloves from my hands.

Nodding, I look around, smirking when I see Coach Evans nod, excusing himself from the room.

"You did amazing, sweetie." Dad mutters, wiping the sweat that has graced my forehead. "But please, don't hurt yourself next time." He adds, lifting my hand, looking at the blood that coats my knuckles.

I don't know how I didn't feel the pain. It looks like I tore my skin, which has not happened in a long time.

"I didn't even notice," I mutter, watching as Dad wipes the blood away.

"I'm sure you didn't. You were caught up in the moment, your mind was somewhere else... Selena, can you please pass me those bandages?" Dad asks Selena, worry present in his voice.

Selena replies with an okay, bringing the bandages and alcohol to Dad, who thanks her.

The room is in silence as Dad cleans the injuries, bandaging both my hands afterwards.

Dad sighs after he is done. I can see that he is blaming himself, which hurts because it isn't his fault.

My mind always goes astray when I workout. I always feel like I'm in a bubble, and there's no one near me.

And I always get carried away, which has lead to many injuries.

"I'm fine, Dad. There are small cuts, they will heal in a week or less." I try to assure him, remembering the many times he panicked over me hurting myself.

My father is a Don, a king to many people in the mafia. He helps people, but he also doesn't tolerate their bullshit.

He doesn't usually smile and he is always serious. He looks dangerous to many; and he is.

But not to me and those that he loves. My father doesn't like seeing the people he loves hurt, sad or crying; especially me.

He is a softie on the inside.

"I know." He says, putting the box away. "But that does make me feel better... You'll take a break from training for two weeks, cause I'm afraid you'll do more harm to yourself than good." He mutters, making my eyes widen.

"Bu–"

"No buts, Vivian... You need to relax for a bit. I know you love working out, but hurting yourself isn't suppose to be the end result... If I let you work out this week or next week, then those wounds will open up, and you might get an infection."

I fight the urge to argue when I hear his explanation. He's just looking out for me and I have to understand him.

"Fine... But only for two weeks, right?" I question to which he nods, smiling at me.

"Yo–"

"Don," One of the guards calls out, making the both of us turn in his direction.

"Yes?" Dad asks, the worry in his voice long gone, getting replaced by his command and annoyance.

"Don Azrael is here; he said you are waiting for him?" The guard says, to which Dad acts confused, looking at his watch.

"He's a bit early." Dad mutters under his breath, sounding irritated. "You can lead him to the office; I'll be there in a minute." He adds, and as a response, the guard nods.

Dad turns to me after the Guard is out of the door. He tells me to be safe and not to cause any trouble, as if I cause any trouble.

Anyways, I nod at him with a smile, which makes him smile back at me.

Dad bids both Selena and I goodbyes, walking out the door and into the long passage that leads to the elevator, which will take him to the main floor of the house.

"Can you teach me how to hit like that?" Selena asks me as I grab my towel.

"Sure." I reply not really paying attention to her words, walking towards my bag, where I get my high waisted leather shorts, a pair of new undies and a black crop top.

"When? And can we use a doll?" Selena questioning, making me stop in my footsteps, looking back at her with my eyebrows raised.

"You hit hard, and I don't want you to hurt me... I might die if you were to punch me," Selena explains, making me chuckle.

"I would love to train you, and even though I won't get to take my revenge on you for the many times you stole my chocolates; I'll still get a guard, who you can train on." I say, walking into the bathroom before she can reply.

"Alright!" I hear her shout, her voice getting muffled when I close the door, turning the water on.

I place my clothes on the counter top before striping out of my clothes, placing them in the laundry basket afterwards.

No one comes down here for training except for Dad and I, and a few other people we allow to help me with my moves.

It takes less than ten minutes for me to finish with my shower. My muscles no longer tense, and I feel more energetic.

"What's for the day?" I ask Selena after stepping out of the bathroom.

Selena, who was scrolling through her phone, lights up when she hears my question, which makes me believe that she has everything planned out.

"I'm glad you asked," She mutters, sitting upwards, pointing to the seat next to her. "Cause we have so much to do." She adds, making me smile at her excitement.

Selena has started acting like her old self, and I can see that the change in environment is what's helping her.

We, my parents and I, decided that Selena can move in with us. And she was so happy and excited when we told her the news.

Her old home was toxic, and I know it ruined her happiness. I can see her smiling more now, and that gives me great happiness.

My sister and best friend isn't going anywhere. She is here to stay and I know that nothing and no one is taking her back to that miserable place.

"First, we'll go shopping, then we can go have dinner and then we can go out for some drinks... And we can do the rest tomorrow," She blubbers, making my eyebrows furrow in confusion.

"You have the entire weekend planned out, huh?" I raise my eyebrows in question.

"You bet I do... We gotta have fun before universities open." She rolls her eyes, a disapproving look on her face.

She looks like she's judging me, which is kind of funny.

"Alright, ma'am." I chuckle, wearing my sneakers."When are we leaving?" I question, grabbing my lip gloss from my pocket, applying a small amount to my lips.

"We can leave in an hour... I, unlike yourself, need to do a full makeover to look good." She says, standing up.

"But you look gorgeous," I whine, not wanting to wait for her to come back.

Waiting is something I am bad at. I am very impatient; I need to do things before I can lose interest in them.

"I won't take long, I promise... I just need to curl my hair and apply a bit of make up. My clothes are alright set, Viv," She pouts, holding onto my hands, which makes me hiss in pain.

"I'm so sorry. I forgot about the injuries,"

"I did too." I mutter under my breath, hating the pain that shots through my body.

The bad part about having injuries, is that when you accidentally touch them, electricity will shoot through the body, making you want to fly.

I breath in and out, till the pain goes away. I might have high tolerance when it comes to pain, but I don't want to get hurt again.

My eyes slow move away from my hands, landing on Selena, who has guilt written all over her face.

"Selena, it isn't your fault," I breath out, knowing how hard she is on herself. "You didn't hurt me; my carelessness did." I try to assure her.

I don't know why, but my words sound a little bit dumb. But I don't care, my words don't have to make sense for me to make sense.

"Stop blaming yourself, Sel... Don't blane yourself when you aren't even the cause." I smile at her, which makes her nod.

I quickly change the conversation, not wanting her to dwell on our previous conversation.

Selena and I leave the training room, our feet carrying us into the elevator, which takes us to the main floor.

We bid each other good-byes, both of us going our separate ways.

Selena has to freshen up and well, I have to go and ask my father why Azrael is here.

The thought of him being in the same house as me doesn't sit well. The thought annoys me, and I really have to fight the frustration I feel when I think about him.

The man is an imbecile, who thinks that women are to be treated like slaves; just like the rest of the men in his mafia.

I have heard a lot of stories about the man and I have seen how his men behave with women, and it fucking angers me.

Many women and men that work here complain about the treatment they received while under his rule, and it is sad to see the fear they live with.

I finally get to Dad's office, a smile coming on my lips as I put my hand on the doorknob.

"Dad, I wa–" I stop my sentence midway, a frown forming on my lips when my eyes catch a glimpse of brunette hair, which belongs to a certain somebody I don't like.

My hand clenches into a fist, the injury burning as I squeeze it too hard. I don't pay mind to it, though.

Cause my attention is solely on Azrael, who turns to look at me, a smirk on his face.

"Vivian," Azrael mutters, bowing his head a bit, which is a sign of respect.

"Bit– Azrael," I force a smile, unclenching my fist as I begin to walk inside the office. "Dad, I thought you were done?"

The words leave my mouth before I can even sit down, my attention no longer on the creep that is sitting a few feet away from me.

"We are, Viv... We are just discussing a few things right now," Dad says, his eyes staring into my soul, a clear sign that he wants me to leave.

"Alright, I'll come back later then," I huff when I see his expression, watching as he sighs in relief.

I walk around the table, giving him a side hug before nodding at Azrael, who smiles at me, his face making me shiver in disgust.

"Idiot." I murmur under my breath, my feet carrying me out of the office, closing the door on my way out.

However, I decide to stay for a bit, my ear pressed to the door as I listen to them spill all the tea.

I might be a good fighter, but I am a great spy as well.

AUTHOR'S NOTE.

drafts

I'll edit the errors tomorrow, I'm dozing. And what did you think of the chapter?