"nodus tollens (n.)-

the realization that the plot of your life doesn't make sense to you anymore-"

• • •

The faint sound of my phone ringing wakes me up but as I go to answer, it stops. I grab my phone to check what time it was.

My phone begins to ring again and Jacob's name flashes across my screen. I answer.

"Hello?" My voice is so groggy, it's obvious I was asleep.

"Oh thank god," A voice that is not Jacob's answers, "This is awkward but uh hi, I'm TJ. One of Jacob's friends I think we met like once." It's hard for me to hear him over all the noise in the back.

"Oh yeah, ok?" I'm failing to see why he's called me multiple times at two in the morning just to say that.

"That's not why I called! Yeah, Jacob is like really drunk, like wasted. He keeps trying to do all this dangerous shit. None of us can take him home, cause we're also uhhh well kind of shit faced. But like he definitely needs to go home. He can barely even walk." He sounds concerned but clearly not too concerned, I can hear him still joking around with people around him.

"Are you asking me to come-"

"Yeah, yeah, sorry totally forgot to actually ask you. I can send you the directions."

"Ok, can you-"

"Thanks so much." He hangs up. What the fuck???

I soon get a notification of directions to wherever they are. He told me he was going to hang out with his friends, he didn't say anything about a party.

I quickly get up, not even bothering to put on a bra. I grab a jacket and whatever comfortable pants I could find. I put on my shoes, quietly make my way down the stairs and out the door, making sure I didn't forget my keys.

I connect my phone to the radio and follow the directions of google maps. They take me to a nice neighborhood, most houses are dark so it doesn't even take google to figure out which house is having the party. I try to find a parking spot close to the house but there are too many cars and I end up having to park down the street. Adding to my irritation.

I call but no one answers. After trying three more times with no success I decide to get out of my car. The cold air is made much worse by the strong winds.

Walking up the street to the house did not take long but it did not help my attitude. I knock hard on the door but no one answers. It's probably too loud, I go to turn the handle and it's open so I walk in.

It looks and sounds like someone converted their house into a club. I'm surprised no ones called the police, but just in case they have I should probably hurry. I squeeze through the hot room, everyone is dancing too close to each other. I look around to see if I can find Jacob, or even recognize one of his friends.

I make my way through different rooms of the house, even trying the upstairs. I go to the basement as my next stop, I can tell there's less people but it's just as loud.

I scan the room from the stairs, and finally see one of Jacob's friends. I'm pretty sure I've met him more than once but I still don't remember his name. I rush over to him and reach up to tap on his shoulder, which makes him turn to me.

"Hey! Danielle!" He loudly exclaims. I ignore the fact that he messes up my name.

"Is Jacob down here? Or TJ?" I ask loudly. He points over in the corner of the room without saying anything and goes back to socializing.

I walk over to the spot finally seeing Jacob sleeping on a loveseat. I see the man whose name I just realized is TJ and shout to him. He turns around, seemingly happy to see me. Or just drunk?

"Why didn't you tell me you were here?" I'm pretty sure I can physically feel my blood pressure rising.

"I tried, no answer. Do you think you could take him to the car for me?" I get right to the point, not really in the mood for exaggerated friendliness.

"Yeah, for sure. Someone help me with him." He yells somehow over the music and a tall, well built guy comes over to help pull him off the loveseat.

"Wait, he needs his phone back." An Amazonian goddess comes walking towards us, long shiny black hair. She looks so familiar.

As I search through my memory I realize, its the girl from his birthday party. The one who was getting shots poured in her mouth by my man, like a Las Vegas show girl. She pulls his phone out of her bra and puts it in his shirt, her hands linger near his body for too long.

She moves and we make eye contact, I can feel her trying to intimidate me or something but I'm too tired to entertain it. They both lift him up and begin walking out of the basement.

When we reach outside I can see them struggling to carry him to the car, Jacob's no small man and now he's awake. I unlock the doors as we get closer and they carefully put Jacob into the passenger seat, making sure not to hit his head on the roof.

"Thanks for doing-"

"Yup." I shortly answer and get into the car, pulling off before Jacob tries anything stupid.

"What about my ca...car?" Jacob says suddenly after we've been driving in silence for several minutes. He must have slept off some of the alcohol during his power nap while I was on my way to get him. He seems alert.

"You can get it tomorrow." I answer shortly.

The remainder of the ride to Jacob's apartment is made in silence. Except for Jacob occasionally changing the radio station. He also kept rolling his window up and down for some reason, it took everything in me not to lose my mind.

"Can we please take the elevator?" Jacob whines while I try to help him up the apartment stairs.

"Your turned it off." At this point I'm just ready to go back home and go to sleep.

I unlock the door with his keys and watch him struggle walking inside. He b-lines straight for the couch, not even bothering to take his shoes off. I roll my eyes, making my way up to his room to grab a pillow and blanket. When I come back down his eyes are closed but he's clearly not sleep.

"Here. I'm going to get you water and then I'm going home, do you need anything else?" I go into the kitchen, getting a glass cup out of the newly renovated cabinet.

"No."

I set the glass down on his table.

"Ok, well I'm leaving." I kiss him on the cheek, even though I was pissed. "Bye."

"Why did you tell me you loved me, and then act like it didn't happen. I gave you weeks to bring it up but you didn't." He says as soon as I turned around to leave.

"Jacob, you need to go to sleep."

"I'm not drunk enough to fall for that Daisy."

"Why do we have to talk about this right now? I don't want to."

"Were we gonna talk about it another time?"

"You had just as much time to bring it up as I did."

I can feel the tone of my voice becoming defensive. He sits up and looks directly at me, the only light in the apartment is coming from the kitchen. He's beginning to get aggravated.

"I'm not the one who fucking said it. You can't just say shit like that and move on."

"I probably wouldn't have even said it if I wasn't going through something that night!"

"Right, ok. Of course that's what it was, you're so full of shit sometimes." Full of shit?

"What the fuck do you want me to say? 'Oh I'm just so in love with you Jacob'. Meanwhile you won't tell me half the shit you're doing when you're 'working'. I don't even know what the hell this is that we have. Please tell me, Jacob? Since you know every-fucking-thing, you have all these damn answers. Am I your girlfriend? Is this just a way for you to pass the time when you aren't at parties with bitches that I'm pretty sure you were fucking not that long ago?!"

"Don't change the subject and turn all this on me. You always do this. You do things that you aren't sure about and then you run from the outcome. You don't know certain shit because you don't want to know. It would pop your delusional ass bubble."

"Like what? Running from what?! I've experienced more of the real world than you could even fucking imagine!"

"Every time you even kind of act vulnerable, you run from it. You avoid me, how many times did you kiss me then act like it never happened.Then you pretend that you could just never find close friends for some odd reason. It's not them, it's you! You don't want people to get close to you because you don't want to get your feelings hurt."

"You know what delusional is? Leaving your comfortable ass life at random just to join a gang, so that you can finally feel what it's like to experience the world how the rest of us do. If I'm running then what the hell do you call what you've been doing?"

My words cut deep at him, I can tell.

"You say all that, but still won't even admit to yourself what the rest of us already know. You're scared Daisy. You're scared and lost, you can hide it under that shit you call a personality but no one is falling for it. Not even you."

He's not yelling anymore but somehow seemed to hurt my feelings even more than he did before. Tears start to form in my eyes. I need to go. I walk out without saying another word.

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