"the sun always seems to wash our fears away, and it's always shining somewhere; I just gotta get there."

• • •

"I'm sure there is a reason he hasn't called you. No one goes silent for three days for no reason." Says Adam, Mya's cousin, over the men shouting at the college football game playing on the TV from the bar.

"Yeah I'm sure when he's resolved whatever it is that happened, he'll reach out. I mean it's not like you don't already know what happened and he never does this, right?" Mya adds, dipping her fries into ketchup.

"Yes." I groan laying my forehead on the booth table. My anxiety has been getting worse every day I don't hear from Jacob, but since we aren't even 'together' I'm trying not to smother him. I mean if something bad happened I would know, wouldn't I?

I'm sure there is some kind of psychological reason that I need constant reassurance. If I could afford a therapist they'd probably say something about my dad and blah, blah, blah. Regardless, need a solution before I lose my mind.

"Look, if you're this upset about it maybe you should try calling him." Mya says seemingly tired of my dramatic antics.

"Or pop up at his place." Adam suggests with a mischievous tone in his voice. I slowly look up at the both of them, considering Adam's approach.

"Don't listen to him, he's messy. That sounds like a bad idea." Mya argues, making Adam roll his eyes.

"No that might be the only thing that makes him answer."

It feels like something deep inside me knows this isn't a good idea but I don't know what else to do. I've been worried sick for the past few days, hoping he's not in a ditch somewhere. I'm sure I'm overthinking it but you never know. Especially in his line of work.

"I'm going over there." I finally decide.

"I wouldn't, but I mean...," Mya suggests once again. I stand and put a $20 bill on the table for my food. Grabbing my jacket, it's been windy lately.

"If you're right I'll be sure to call you and tell you." I say to Mya and wave bye to both of them.

"Wait!" Adam shouts and I turn around. "Can I have the rest of your food."

I smile, playfully rolling my eyes at his request. "I don't care." He smiles back. With that I walk out of the restaurant, unsure of my decisions but refusing to turn back.

Once I reach the familiar building I scan the parking lot to see if one of his cars is here. I don't see one but that doesn't mean anything, I remember him saying something about him and his friends switching cars often because of 'work'.

I open the glass door and walk into the complex, pressing 2 once I reach the elevator. The numbers above the steel doors light up, which means he didn't turn it off. He's definitely home.

I step onto the elevator and take the short ride up to his apartment, anxiety starts to build in my stomach. What if he hasn't called me for a reason? Mya was probably right. I don't have anymore time to overthink because the elevator stops and the doors slide open.

Jacob is standing up with his black suit shirt untucked, the first few buttons open. His hair disheveled, the three men around him mirror his exhausted appearance. His eyes shoot to mine when the door opens, first confusion then anger takes over his expression. If there were a time to be invisible this would be it. As if they didn't hear the elevator, the men in the living room finally look over at me once they realize Jacob is. Fuck.

"Uh sorry, I'm gonna go." I say nervously and reach for the elevator close button.

"No, no, no. Stay. We're heading out anyway." An older man says with a foreign accent that I don't recognize. Somehow it sounds like a demand more than him being polite. The other two men follow behind him as if they were his bodyguards.

I slowly step off of the elevator, not sure if it's the right thing to do but not wanting to cause anymore noise. He shoots an amused look towards Jacob as they step on the elevator. It gives me an eerie feeling.

"We'll talk later. I'll tell you what Marc thinks of my...," the older man then looks over at me, still smiling, "...proposition." My stomach turns in knots. The elevator doors close and we sit in silence or what feels like minutes. I don't even look over at Jacob, I stare down at my white air maxes.

"What the fuck Daisy?"

The mix of annoyance and anger in his voice is enough to send shivers down a grown man's spine. I don't let it phase me, at least on the outside. Inside I felt like running and hiding as if I were a child.

"You wouldn't answer your phone! Or even just text me!"

"You can't just fucking show up like this. Why didn't you just call before you came over? Huh?" His deep voice loudly echoes in the silent apartment.

"I was worried! If I called would you answer? You could've been dead for all I know, what else was I supposed to do? You can be pissed off all you want but you don't get to make me feel bad for caring about you." I yell back, surprisingly he doesn't say anything. He rubs his hand down his face then sits on the couch.

"I was scared, for real. Maybe I'm selfish but I can't handle the stress of not knowing." Transparency. I feel tears brimming in my eyes and I don't know why, it didn't even feel that serious when I was on my way over here. I hold them back and take a seat next to him on the couch.

"I'm sorry."

He lays his head back, staring at the ceiling. I can tell he doesn't want to fight. I grab his hand and he squeezes mine. "I just need something, you know." I chuckle softly. Examining his exhausted features, I start to feel bad for making his day even more complicated. Whether it was justified or not.

Butterflies begin to dance around my stomach as his thumb strokes up and down my palm. He nods his head, slowly laying his back onto the couch. Pulling me with him by my wrists. He sloppily kisses me as if nothing else in the world matters.

"I don't want to to think anymore." Jacob confesses in a hushed tone.

Gently reconnecting our lips after, I don't either. I allow his caring hands to explore my body, my floral print blouse finds its way to the floor in minutes. His shirt follows swiftly after mine. I slowly glide my hands down his athletic body. Our kisses grow desperate, the temperature in the room seems to be rising along with our body temperatures.

His fingers unhook my white bra, he does so quickly like he's had plenty of practice. I knew what was happening but when my bra fully falls off of my body my heart stops. The cold air makes my nipples instinctively harden but the rest of my skin is burning. As a reflex I cover myself, breathing heavily.

In response Jacob rubs his hands down my arms, unfolding them carefully. I can't help but to feel some level of embarrassment, being this vulnerable is new for me. He hooks one arm under my butt and stands up, lifting me with him.

I wrap my legs around his abdomen. I can feel hardness against me, especially with how wide my legs are spread. I gasp, and I see his smile widen confidently. He walks us up the stairs, into his room and onto the bed.

He trails messy kisses down my jaw to my neck. One of his large hands begins to carefully massage my exposed chest. His mouth follows behind his hands causing me to moan, my back arching. I rake my hands through his hair.

Once his kisses find their way back to my mouth, he reaches down, unbuttoning my pants. He tugs at them slowly, making sure to leave gentle love bites on my abdomen. This is happening.

"Jacob..." I manage to get out even though my voice is shaking.

"Mmm.."

Once my pants join the party of clothes on the floor he returns his attention to my neck, kissing and sucking every square inch.

"I uh, I think you should know...,um.......I uh..." I mumble through moans.

"What?" He doesn't shift his attention from my body.

"Could you, uh maybe...try to go slow. I've never actually done this bef-" I whisper almost so low that I barely hear myself but clearly Jacob did. He stops cold in his tracks.

The mood in the room has completely changed in a matter of seconds. My entire body goes chill as he lets out a breath and comes up to my face, meeting me at eye level. The eye contact makes me want to jump out of my skin but I know I have no escape trapped under his body.

"Daisy,...why didn't you- I mean why did you? I would have never..." He asks with concern laced through his voice, it's apparent in his eyes. My eyes look everywhere but back into his, I start to get choked up for the second time today and I still don't know why.

"We don't have stop, I just thought you should know before anything- we can still keep going." My hands are covering my breasts as a reflex, while I stare past him at the ceiling.

He grabs my face with his hand placing a short but sweet kiss on my swollen lips. He sits up reaching into his nightstand, grabs a t-shirt and hands it to me. I sit up to put the shirt on. The shirt is big on me so it pools around my waist on the bed. He lays back on the bed, adjusting the pillows and pulls me into him. My head rests on his chest.

"We don't have to have sex just because I want to. I can wait." I nod without saying anything or even meeting his gaze.

I feel so secure with him in this moment, he cares about me. My feelings for Jacob grow deeper every minute, it frightens me but excites me at the same time. There is so much uncertainty surrounding our relationship but our bond is undeniable.

We lay in silence for a while, then I feel his chest begin to steadily go up and down. He's fallen asleep finally and I'm not far behind, cozying into him firmly.

• • •