"these days I don't cry over spilled milk, or lost love, or things I have no control of; these days I just love myself more." -Reyna Biddy

• • •

My cousin's coming to town today. My aunt couldn't make it but she didn't want that to be the reason we couldn't see each other. My cousins 16, younger than me but that rarely effects our relationship. She's also the only one I've got so I guess no matter what I've got to make this work, I do enjoy her company though. She's been texting me about how excited she is to see me all week, I'm excited too.

She said she couldn't wait until she got here. I couldn't either, I needed new human contact outside if the people I already see daily. It's starting to get old. I also wanna see if I'm crazy or if she'll notice the way Jacob has been looking at me too. It gives me a weird feeling. Both good and bad, is that possible? It's been happening for the last two weeks, ever since the party, I want it to stop.

It's July now, only the second day though, I stand on the porch waiting for my mom, who informed me they were only 5 minutes away, to pull in the driveway with my cousin. I shield my eyes from the hot beaming sun. Just as 5 minutes went my mom was here and my cousin was jumping out the passenger side, running towards me.

"Daisy!" She squeals running into my arms, making me smile.

"Avery!" I mirror her excitement, we sway back and forth until my mom tells us we need to go inside.

She jogs up to my room and sets her stuff down. "This room is way bigger than your room at the other house!" She looks around at everything telling me all the differences between this room and my last. I help put her things away since she's clearly distracted.

"How was the drive?"

"So how are the boys here?" She asks completely ignoring my question.

"You should know I am the last person you should be asking about boys up here." I answer laughing.

"Your mom said the man she works for has a son close to your age." She says sitting next to me on the bed and looking over at me expectantly.

"Yeah." I answer shortly. She huffs like she expected more from my answer.

"Well is he cute?" She finally says after realizing I wasn't going to elaborate.

"I mean I guess he is, but trust me he ain't all that cute after he opens his mouth." I unwillingly admit.

"Girl you act like you can't toon him out." She says and I roll my eyes. We sit around for a few more hours catching up with each other before falling asleep.

• • •

I told Avery I would take her to the movies if my mom let me borrow the car. Since my mom encourages me getting out more she all but threw the keys at me.

"What do you want to see?" I ask Avery, it doesn't really matter to me.

"What are my choices?" She asks like a game contestant which makes me laugh.

"Well we have unrealistic romcom you've already seen 40 times for 100, sad cliche teen romcom you've already seen 40 times for 200, unfunny comedic movie you've already 40 times for 300, and scary movie that you've already seen 40 times but makes you shit your pants every time for 400." I say playing along and putting the invisible microphone in her face. Avery rubs her chin like she's really thinking about her options.

"Mmm I think I'll take scary movie you've already seen 40 times but makes you shit your pants every time for 400, Alex." She says which makes both of us laugh way to hard in the middle of the busy movie theatre.

"Ugh you know how I feel about scary movies Ave!" I say upset, I know she picked this one on purpose.

"You said I got to pick!" She reminds me. I oblige because I want her to enjoy her time here, no matter how much I hate scary movies.

We go up to the booth and I pay for the tickets. We walk over to all the snacks and I order a popcorn.

"He is fine." I hear my cousin say and turn to see what my cousins sees and of course. As if on cue, Jacob is somehow at the same theatre we are. Why? Just why? I sigh.

"Oh what you don't think so?" My cousin asks looking back at me then going to grab her popcorn.

"Well remember when I told you about my the bosses son?" I say and grab my popcorn too.

"You've got to be fucking kidding?" She says shoving popcorn in her mouth like she's watching a show. He's with another guy and two girls. Double date maybe? Why does it matter? I think to myself and look away shrugging my shoulders.

"What are you shrugging for I need you jump on his d-"

"Alright, alright, would you calm down please?" I say with wide eyes, stopping her mid sentence as we make our way to the slushee machines.

"I'm just saying!" She puts her hands up in defense. Just as she was saying they walk towards the confession area. He spots me. Fuck. He didn't say anything to me though. He just gave me that look again, smiling at me like he knows something I don't. That's the best way I can describe it at least. It always gives me a funny feeling.

"Girl what was that?" She asks but I just shake my head laughing at her high school antics. We go to pay for our snacks and head into the movie. I try to shake the feeling.

The weekend came and went, at least I had a good time. I'll miss my cousin no matter the weird shit she pulls.

"Text me when you get home, ok?" I say hugging Avery and playing with her box braids before hugging her again, tighter this time. She just nods, I think she's sadder than I am to be leaving. I loved having someone around my age and being able to talk to them. Not having to censor myself, I'll miss that. She waves and gets in the car, my mom grabs her keys and tells me she'll be back in 30 minutes I stand outside and watch the car drive off down the street until I can't see it anymore.

• • •