real life!

Adira sighs into the silence, then buries her head in her palms, groaning when she hears a knock on her door. She was alone for the the first time in days, and she couldn't even have the quiet for long.

The door squeaks open. "'Dira?"

"Vicky," she says, tilting her head to see the blonde peaking in. "What's up?"

"Just checking on you." She offers a sweet smile. "You need anything?"

"No." Adira shakes her head. "But come sit."

"I really don't think—"

"Come," she insists, patting the spot next to her.

Vicky walks timidly over, like her tail is stuck between her legs, and sits. The two often treated each other like delicate flowers, bouncing around the things they knew they should talk about and enjoying the laughter and smiles instead. But sometimes that isn't enough. "Is it true?" Adira asks.

Vicky shifts her gaze from her lap to the window. The sun glows bright and loud, but one cloud stands out. This cloud growls and casts its shadow over a group of city buildings—a testament to the dark always seeping its way into the bright, Vicky thinks. All good things must come to an end. "Is what true?"

Adira scoffs. "Don't play dumb now."

Vicky moistens her lips. "I was drunk," she admits. "I don't mean anything when I'm drunk. You know that better than anyone."

Adira purses her lips, resting her hands on her stomach. "I'm really sick of 'I didn't mean this. I regret that. If I could take it back, I would.'" She turns to Vicky, then follows her gaze to the growling cloud. "Say what the fuck you really mean because that's not enough for me."

Vicky slumps her shoulders. "I'm serious, though. I didn't mean it."

"Your words mean nothing to me, Vicky."

She winces. "What?"

"Mama used to say 'your words mean nothing if you don't learn.' And you clearly don't learn."

"Well," she starts, "I haven't tried anything with Justin."

Adira laughs in disbelief. "You want a cookie?"

Vicky ignores her, and says, "And I didn't try to kiss Joey. He broke up with you. I admit I shouldn't have gotten with him after, but I didn't try to do anything like that. I was drunk and horny when I tried that shit with Zayn." Vicky's voice fills with desperation. Whether desperation for Adira to believe or her to believe herself, she doesn't know. "Barely even remember it."

Adira rests her hand on Vicky's shoulder. "If you felt so much regret, you wouldn't even be thinking about getting back with Joey."

"I haven't even answered his texts!" Vicky exclaims, pushing Adira's hand off her shoulder.

Adira doesn't bother to act surprised as her hand lands harshly back on her lap. "You want to, though, don't you?"

"Even if I do, I haven't."

"But you want to."

"But I haven't."

"Okay," Adira concedes. "Is it because of me? Or because you don't want to?"

"Does it matter?" Vicky's brows upturn, silently pleading.

"Yeah, Vicky." She nods her head. "It does."

"Both," Vicky says after a few seconds. "I don't want to hurt you, and I don't want to get hurt again."

"You've already hurt me."

"I'm sorry, Adira. Honest to God, I'm so, so sorry."

"Me, too."

Vicky reaches out for her, and she leans away. "Please don't." She purses her lips. "Just go, Vicky."

"Go?" she questions, wrinkling her nose.

"We're done."

"After everything? Just like that? Over two guys you don't even talk to?"

"Leave," Adira pleads.

"For God's sake, Adira, you're all buddy buddy with 'Mala again, and she's done worse."

"And that's my choice." Adira clenches her fists. "You aren't me. You're not in my head. You don't know how it feels to know your best friend tried to kiss your ex and didn't even tell you. You don't know what it's like to watch your best friend be happy with the man who left you for her. You don't know, and you're not going to come in here, say 'sorry,' and act like you fucking know." Adira eyes blaze, glaring at Vicky with such fury that the other girl squirms. "Now get the fuck out."

Vicky says nothing, rises, looks at Adira—her blonde hair, tied back with free strands floating around her face; her red, puffy eyes that shine with disgust; and her hands finding comfort in resting atop her stomach, elbows sticking out like the wings of an eagle—and walks away.

∙∙∙

twitter!

@adira

hello. zayn's interview was as much

invasive as it was painful and

inaccurate.

💬 107.1k⠀♻️ 313.1k⠀❤️ 889k

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@adira

i did not message him to get him to

cheat. i was concerned about my

mother's health and he was my last

thought. he was the one messaging me

and he's the one who needs to stop

lying about ending his engagement to

her over text instead of painting fake

narratives to play victim.

♻️ 213k⠀❤️ 689k

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@adira

it's sad that he's used one of the most

painful times of my life that i've never

even spoken about to redeem himself.

losing a child was one of the worst

things i've ever felt. there's not a day

that goes by that i don't think about

juno.

♻️ 277.3k⠀❤️ 769k

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@adira

it's convenient that he leaves out that

HIS violence is the reason i lost the

baby. i've spent many months replaying

that night and trying to think about

what i could've done differently so that

juno could be here with me right now.

♻️ 308k⠀❤️ 809k

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@adira

it baffles me that he couldn't even face

me and had to use my sister to tell me

how much he "regrets" that night and

always wanted a family but runs to the

$ for an exclusive interview. your words

mean nothing to me, zayn. you are a

selfish shell of what a person should

be.

♻️ 397.1k⠀❤️ 886k

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@adira

shame on you @NowMag for giving this

man a platform.

♻️ 410k⠀❤️ 964k