messages!

any news?

Vicky's stabilising. Doctors said

she might wake up soon. Nothing

new for Mikey.

i'll be there soon

Also, Joey stopped by again.

Asked about Vicky. Hoped he could

see you to talk about things.

i have nothing to say to him dada. u

know that

It could be worth a shot, Dove.

he's a big shot disney actor now.

he got his dream. i don't see why

we need to talk

Dove, I know what you're implying

and you know that's not fair. You

guys weren't even publicly

together. Only he and Vicky were.

whatever

it's too early for this shit and this

isn't a conversation for over text

I get it.

I saw you were with Justin.

why did u say it like that

Say it like what? We're texting. You

can't possibly know how I said it.

dada

u sound .... condescending

I'm going to be honest with you.

This back and forth isn't going to

last forever, Dove. You know that.

This isn't tug of war. You guys

can't keep doing this to each other,

even if it makes you happy in the

moment. You're going to get hurt

eventually.

Actually, he's already hurt you.

Over and over. And you keep

accepting it.

what do u want me to say

Nothing. I want you to get your

head out of his ass.

god. that's not fair. i love him

Do you?

I know you, Dove. I don't think

you've ever been alone. If it's not

Zayn, it was Joey. When it wasn't

Joey, it was Justin.

I remember you falling hard for

each of them. There was always

someone. Even after Zayn did what

he did, you somehow found

your way back to Justin.

Just know this time Vicky and

Mikey might not be there to pick up

the pieces. Be prepared.

this is the most i've seen joey's

name in 4 years

i swore off his name u know? none

of us talk about him

I know what you're trying to do,

Adira.

i miss the dove

Adira.

okay dada

i admit i have a hard time being by

myself. loving myself. i guess i

don't want to feel lonely. they fill

the fucking void. and i know it's so

fucking selfish to do that at the

expense of other people .. making

people put their lives on hold for

me .. but i need someone

it was so easy w zayn at first. we

were so young and in love and

happy and i felt like i was on top of

the world. he was my safe place for

so long. then he chose perrie and i

met joey and he felt so fresh and

exciting. he was this young boy

who just wanted to be an actor. felt

like one of those fucking hollywood

movies. then he chose vicky and i

met justin and i loved him too and

he chose hailey

it's so fucked to be the second

choice all the time. but i keep doing

it to myself bc i can't be by my

fucking self. and i guess i feel safe

knowing everything is only

temporary

then i started drowning my fucking

shit w alcohol again and the

fucking crash happened bc my

friends were worried about me and

now i'm right back with him and i

can't stop myself bc it feels so

good and i need it. i need the

distraction

Dove, hurting and distracting

yourself is only going to get you so

far. You can't keep ignoring your

shit. You're going to end up at the

place you fought so hard to get out

of.

I don't want to be worried about

whether you're even fucking alive

every time you don't pick up a call.

I don't want to find you slumped in

your bathtub. I don't want to visit

you in rehab.

You deserve so, so much better

than what you're accepting.

I thought things with your therapist

were going well.

sometimes i got too busy to see

them

i guess i should soon

Yes, you should.

How are you sure you even loved

those boys?

maybe some of it was in my head w

joey. but zayn and justin were so

fucking real. i would've done

anything for them. done anything

to be who they wanted

i'm going to fix this tho

Hope you can. All I want is your

happiness. That's all I want. And I

know you're not happy right now.

But I trust you, Dove.

I hope you trust yourself with your

own heart and happiness.

Love you.

love u too.