《psy·cho·log·i·cal》Chapter 1

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Julie^^^^

Empty.... That's all I felt when I heard my lovely "husband" in his room fucking his mistress or should I say girlfriend at this point, Kodí met Julie when she started working for him as his personal assistant 3 years ago.

During the first year I cried my heart out every single day, the second year I became somewhat depressed then the third year I became numb to it all. I walked downstairs to the kitchen and pulled out a bottle of whisky.

I remesbence on the times when Kodí and I were happy with eachother, that seemed so long ago. I simply watched the man I loved, fall in love with someone else. I met and fell in love with Kodí way before I knew that his father was an actual friend of mine. So when they brought the idea of an arrange marriage up I was actually kinda happy but things change, people change and feelings change too (where my pnd fans at!)

Kodí isn't a dumb man he was one of the top students in college and He now has multi-billion dollar companys set up everywhere not including him taking over his father's positions as the Mafia leader. His father thought it was time for him to settle down before handing him over everything.

Little did they know this whole Arrange marriage would take a turn for the worse.I stared at my reflection in the now half way filled glass and kinda wonder who am I? I know the basics of myself I'm Haiden cactilena Reed~Kole, my mother is dead, my father has a stepbitch, and my "husband" is a monster.

Somedays I don't know how much longer I can hold on. Voices inside of my head mess with me all the time, I use to go to the doctor for it, but she thought I was crazy and almost put me in a mental hospital so I lied to her and told her they stopped, but they never did.

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It gets lonely in this house at times and I'm only allowed to leave the house if I have guards with me. Why? That's something I'll never know, the monster doesn't care for me so why not let me do as I please. There's a long list of what I'm not allowed to do and how I'm suppose to act and treat my "husband".

The one true happiness I have is the garden out back and that's because my two babies are buried underneath flowers I planted.Yes,you heard right that monster got me pregnant twice then he killed them without even knowing it.

The first baby died because he beat me so bad I had to go to the hospital and the second one passed due to him and his hoe putting stress on me. Nobody knows that I had two miscarriages except for the maids and our "family" doctor. Kodí would kill me if he found out about the babies,so I keep that part to myself.

I was in my thoughts when I heard foot steps coming down the stairs. Oh great here comes the assholes I rolled my eyes "Why haven't you started dinner yet" Kodí looks me up and down, while his play thing is smirking at me,I know what your wondering why do we have maids if I do all the cooking, when we first started out, Kodí told me that my cooking was better so every night I have to cook a fresh new meal for him and his friends.

"umm let's see cause I didn't feel like it" I said annoyed, just because he's a mob boss doesn't mean I'm going to hold my tongue, even though I get beat everytime. He slowly walks up to me and takes the bottle away.

"We're going to try this again amore, why haven't you started dinner yet" he states calmly, but deadly "And imma repeat the same thing cause I didn't fe-" I was cut off by him slapping me.

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"You really like to piss me off don't you Haiden,now get the hell up and make dinner the guys are coming tonight and Julie is staying for dinner" he said while walking out with Julie. I wasn't faze by him slapping me, he started the abuse shit back when Julie first arrived, one time I couldn't see out of my left eye and the other time my arm was broken.

I often wonder what would happen if I slipped poison into their food but I could never bring myself to it.

I get up from the floor and start on dinner.*Put rat poison in their food it'll be funny* *no it wouldn't ugh* *Just do it* I aruged with the voice inside of me. I made shrimp pasta, fresh salad,with bread and quick cheesecake.

Once I was done, I went take a shower in my room. Ever since I found out he was cheating on me I've been in my own separate room, being in my own space does have it's advantages and disadvantages like for example an advantage is I can do whatever I please in here and truly be myself, but the disadvantage is he's on the other side of the wall, so I hear everything.

I go to my bathroom and open my pills, they're suppose to help me with my depression and mental issues that occurred throughout the years and when I lost my second baby, but lately the voices in my head have been getting the best of me and I haven't been taking them.

While in the shower I think about how my life could have been if my mother wouldn't have died, tears started flowing out of me as usual. I always cried in the shower because I will not let them see that side of me ever, I'm pretty sure they could hear me, but it's not like anyone would actually notice or care, Kodí is to far up Julie's ass for that.

Once I got out of the shower I got dressed and went to my vanity in the corner. All I saw in the mirror was his hand print on my cheek and red puff eyes from crying. I pulled out my eye drops and place them in,as whispering to myself now lets see if I can make it pass dinner.

Jasper,Ayiden, and Jax was already downstairs,When I went down. Their all sweethearts to me for the most part. Which really sets Kodí off, See Kodí has a few rules, Rule number one~ don't disrecpect him, Rule number two~ Don't get close to his friends, and Rule number three~ don't act up in front of other people.

As I rounded the corner to the kitchen I saw a very angry Kodí. "What took you so long" I looked at anything in the room beside him."Answer me got dammit" he said "I was getting ready clam your tits" I brush passed him.

That's when he grabbed my arm and tried to kiss me.... The audacity of this man."Hell naw what you think your doing my dude, keep your dirty ass lips off of me. Go kiss your hoe" I said a little too loudly because Jasper and Ayiden started laughing while Jax eyes got big and Kodí eyes got darker.

And that my friends is when I knew I fucked up..

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