"Jayceon I don't have time for this today I really don't, you doing to much," Amber says going out the room slamming the door.

"Amber fuck is yo problem bruh!" I yell annoyed as I followed after her. She was back on that bullshit, ranting and raving every time I ask her a question.

"No Jayceon what the fuck is your problem, you don't have the right to fucking ask me no questions,"

"Fuck you mean I don't, you still wearing my fucking ring and we still married," I say

"I don't give a fuck about none of that shit Jayceon," She yells but I grab her and she snatches away and looks at me crazily.

"Man yo ass tweaking bro I'm finna just dip," I say grabbing my keys off the key rack.

She was pissing me off and I was trying to keep calm because she had every reason to be upset. This entire relationship I cheated on her because I thought she was cheating on me.

Whole time she really wasn't and now I've fucked everything up. I get it and I know it, but I'm tired of hearing it, if you so fed up why you still here? Although I love Harlem, I got a son by another woman, and a fucking lunatic out to get me and all type of shit, so I don't need this extra pressure. I fucked up I realize that, but why keep going on and on.

Had I just been real and told Amber how I felt instead of speculating, we would be cool. Me and Amber been together since we were in our twenties and the goal was to build a life together and start our own family, and I messed it up, I'm man enough to say that. She pregnant with my baby but shit don't feel right and ain't nobody to blame but me.

I was tired of her shit already and I just got home. I spent half the night at the club pitching a new project with Diamond, but I wasn't focused on it. Since we've been in partnership, the club has been off the chain. My club was always popping but since we branched out and networked with other people I've been getting mad clientele. Italian and Chinese motherfuckers coming in the club dressed in nice ass suits looking for Mr. Taylor. All I saw was dollar bills every hour on the hour.

The money was definitely flowing in. I felt like Game in my prime, when I was twenty five pushing paper out my mama crib. I was moving weight so good that Emilio wanted to introduce me to more connects and do private bids for him. I was ready to get to this paper, but I couldn't cause my home shit wasn't right.

"What you finna go talk to a bitch! Huh!" I yell jumping in front of him.

"Amber get the fuck out my way man," I say feeling my blood boiling she was testing me but I wasn't gone play her little game.

"Nah fuck that, you can't take the heat now, when you was walking all over me and fucking any and every bitch it was cool but now you can't take it!" She yells pushing me back.

"Man Amber don't make me fuck you up, get the fuck on with that bullshit and let me go get some air and cool off man,"

"Do what the fuck you want, I'm sick of this shit all this bullshit, these lies, you steady coming home whenever you want like what kind of marriage is this? And let's not start on the cheating, I have given you everything literally everything, I've been a damn good woman to you. I let a lot of shit go even Harlem," she pauses and starts crying. All I could do was put my head down.

"I grew a bond and love the hell out of your child. The child you had with another woman, and you really just gonna stand here and tell me I don't have a right to be upset, nigga I disrespected my mama for you, she don't even fuck with me no more, I can't go over her house, she won't pick up the phone when I call her because I thought I was putting her in her place about my man, and look, everything she said about you was true," she said as she looked at me with tear-filled hatred eyes.

"What you want me to say Amber I fucked up iight what more you want me to do, I been apologizing for weeks," I say and she chuckles turning her head.

She lifted up her hand and took off the wedding ring and threw it. "If you want to be a man and take care of our child fine, but as far as us, we're over Jayceon, I can't do this shit with you any more, I can't trust you and I certainly don't know you," she says before walking off. I started walking after her but I stopped. She had her mind made up and it was too late for me to reclaim her.

I turned back around going up stairs. I jumped in the shower and as soon as I got out my phone started ringing. I don't know why I got mad as soon as I saw it wasn't Amber. Like she'd be calling me.

"Yeah," I say answering the phone.

"Jayceon I need you to keep Harlem please," Erica says crying into the phone. I rolled my eyes. Every-time she wanted to get high she called me to come get him.

"Where you at?" I asked.

"I'm at home,"

"Alright pack him a bag, I'll be there in an hour," I say grabbing my towel and drying off.

"Alright thanks Jayce so much," she says before hanging up. I shook my head grabbing my tooth brush and brushing my teeth. After getting dressed I grabbed my keys and chewy. We was supposed to take him to the vet today before we started arguing.

I didn't even need my GPS, after driving the hour long drive so many times I was familiar with getting there.

Soon as I pulled in the driveway and got out. Chewy jumped out the car running to Harlem. Erica was sitting on the porch with him. I saw the spider man bag overfilled. "Hi Chewy, hi!" He said excitedly as Chewy jumped up on him.

"Daddy I missed you," he says running up to me.

"I missed you too lil man, you been good?"

"Yes, I'm always a good boy daddy," he says innocently.

"Daddy?" He calls looking at the truck funny.

"What's up lil man?"

"Where's mommy Amber," he asks.

I tried my best to think of something but I didn't know what to say. "Mommy had something to do but you'll see her later," I lie hoping he'd accept that and move on.

"Okay, can I play with Chewy?"

"Yeah you can play with him when we get home, we gotta take him to the vet and then daddy's going to take us out for McDonald's, you want a happy meal?"

"Yes! Happy meal! happy meal!" He says excited.

"Alright then come on get in the car, let me talk to mommy," I say.

"Okay, bye mommy I love you," he says before giving her a hug and kiss and then running off. I made sure he was strapped in and then closed the door. Him and chewy got to having fun in the back.

"Trouble in paradise?" Erica asks.

"Why you ask that?"

"Amber normally picks him up,"

"Yeah well you called me,"

"There's a lot of times I call you but Amber still comes,"

"Look she ain't here but we good, only concern you got is him, here here's your bread for the month," I say passing her an envelope.

"Two hundred dollars Jayceon,"

"Aye I sent you seven hundred a couple days ago and I'm pretty sure you ain't got shit to show for that money, from now on imma just buy the things he need,"

"I don't need you to do anything Jayce, I been taking care of him before you even stepped in the picture,"

"But yet you begging me for more money, and to come get him, you been threatening to take him from me, so I'm a dead that, you ain't gone never take my son from me. Ever. I may have been fucked up lately but I'm a damn good father and I take care of mine. So don't think for one second you gone get custody, if anything it'll be the other way around especially when I show the judge how you really get down," I say honestly.

She gave me a dirty look and skipped her lips before storming off. I shook my head getting in the car.

****

"Fuckkkk Rock, that feels so fucking good," I moan leaning my head back, running my fingers through his hair as he devoured this pussy.

"Mmm you taste so good," he says smiling and getting back to eating me out. He was so sexy, with that pretty chocolate skin and deep hazel eyes. He was eating me out like this was going to be his last meal. It felt so good but so wrong at the same time.

Although I loved how Rock was pleasing me, this shit made me so feel bad. Never in my life have I ever thought about cheating on Jayceon. Since we've been together the only man I desired was him. The only man I wanted to marry and start a family with was him. The only man I wanted touching me in this way was him. But honestly fuck him.

This entire relationship he's done nothing but cheat on me without any thought, so why should I be feeling sorry for myself. I'm a good woman, and these hoes he fuck with in the streets would never put up with the shit I've put up with.

Them hoes definitely wouldn't have a hot plate waiting on him when he comes home, or bath water. They wouldn't put out new clothes for him, or keep the house clean, and them hoes definitely wouldn't deal with that baby mama drama. Erica is one fucking headache, calling his phone asking for money out the blew and he just send it to her right away like a dummy. When Harlem is with us majority of the time. She complains about Jayceon being late and never showing up, but we have him on our week and her week. It's like damn do you even want to be a parent.

I love Jayceon with every fiber in my being. Even after all this I still love him, but I can't be with him. I deserve better, I know my worth and it isn't with him.

"Yo wassup ma, you ain't feeling it no more?" Rock asks

"No im feeling it Rock I am I just, fuck...I'm sorry I just wish I could get Jayceon out my head but I can't," I say trying to push the tears back.

"It's cool ma don't cry," he says I slip my leggings back on and I open the car door. He gets out zipping up his pants and coming over to the passenger side.

"I'm sorry, I thought I could do this, and don't get me wrong you are amazing you are, but I just I need to get over Jayceon first before I try to start messing around with someone else," I say.

"I feel you ma, I ain't going no where, I see myself being with you, that nigga treated you like shit he ain't appreciate you, but I do," he says. It sounded good but right now I needed to focus on me before I give another man all that I gave Jayceon.

"Just give me some time Rock please," I say

"Iight ma I will," he leans over and we kiss. His lips were so soft and juicy. I sucked on his bottom lip a little and he smirked once we pulled away.

"Want me to drop you off?" I ask him.

"Yeah I'll appreciate it," he says back. The ride to his house was awkward we were making stupid small talk. I hope he wasn't upset, but I had to be honest with him. I didn't want to toy with his emotions. I was still madly in love with Jayceon, and I can't help it

"You gone be straight? It's kinda late," he says once I pull in his driveway.

"Yeah I'll be fine," I reply.

"Iight then text when you make it in," he says before we kiss and he gets out. I backed out and made my way to the nearest hotel.

I didn't want to see Jayceon, I needed a few days for myself. Tomorrow I was going to get me and mani and pedi, as well as a body massage, along with some time with my girls and shopping. I was going to make Jayceon feel where I was coming from. He thought this shit was a game but on God that son of a bitch was going to see what it felt like to be stepped out on.

I made it to the hotel and after showering and throwing on a big tee and some underwear, I laid across the bed watching The Parkers, along with eating my snacks.

I had picked up some body wash and a few snacks from Walgreens, along the way. I was scrolling on Instagram when I saw a video of Jayce and Harlem that he just posted. They were so cute, but I didn't like the video, in fact I blocked him. Not just on Instagram, but Facebook and iMessages. I deleted all the pictures of us on my socials and took Jayceon's wife out of my bios. I had to get over him. I had to leave that shit behind and get some self respect. I loved Jayceon so much but we needed this break.