Amber -

It was getting later and later and Jayceon still hadn't come inside. Something had to be wrong. Did he leave? No, he wouldn't of just left and not tell me.

I tried to calm my nerves as I called him again for the tenth time, but like the other calls he didn't answer. I got a bad feeling in the pit of my stomach. My hands began to instantly tremble.

I got up, grabbing my robe off my chair, and sliding into my house shoes. As I made my way downstairs I tried to think positive thoughts. Maybe his ass got high and fell asleep in the car again. I laughed thinking of all the times I had to wake him up because he had fallen asleep in the car. His high ass had smoked way too many blunts.

Once I made it downstairs I turned the light on. I opened the blinds but when I saw Jayceon's legs on the ground I instantly opened the door and ran outside. I wanted to throw up at the sight of him laying down there in the pool of his own blood.

"Come on baby get up," I said as I lightly tapped his face. The tears started pouring down my face.

"Baby please please baby get up! This isn't funny Jayceon!" I screamed as I turned him over. His face was cold, I put two fingers against his neck but it was no use he was gone. My love, my baby, he was gone.

"Baby Please," I cried. I began sobbing and wailing. People walking bye stopped and looked.

"What the fuck are y'all looking at! Call the ambulance! Call the... baby please...no.. no..... don't you dare...don't do this, stop playing and get up babe," I said trying to sit his heavy body up.

"Baby please, please baby, you gotta get up," I screamed. I wrapped my arms around him and rocked him back and forth. I was eventually covered in his blood, but I didn't care. I kissed his forehead and rocked back and forth. I broke down, my heart shattered into a million pieces.

When the ambulance pulled up I angrily went off on all the paramedics for how slow they had gotten there. Ashley and Ariel grabbed me pulling me into a hug as I broke down in my driveway. I screamed and wailed like a baby. I couldn't believe, my husband, the love of my life, he was gone, and I'd never see him again.

********

I let Jayceon's mother and my sisters help with the funeral planning. I still couldn't fathom the thought of him being gone. It was time to view his body and I really didn't want to see him like that. I couldn't even picture it in my head. As we walked in the funeral home I backed up ready to walk out but my sisters grabbed me and pulled me in for a hug.

"I don't want to see him like this," I sobbed.

"I know sis, I know," Ashley said with tears falling down her eyes.

"We won't make you see him if you don't want too sis," she said back. I wiped my face and grabbed a napkin blowing my nose.

"As much as I don't want too, I need to see him before they put him in the dirt," I sobbed. Erica came in and we embraced each other. We hugged each other for a while before letting go.

"I'm so sorry for how I acted," I said to her before breaking down.

"Hey don't worry about that okay, I'm here for you," She said back.

"Where's Harlem?" I asked her.

"He's with my brother," she said.

"I'm going to need your help, we have to tell him, my baby is going to be devastated," I said wiping away a tear. She nodded grabbing my hand. Ashley grabbed my other hand and they began taking me over to the casket.

They had really done a good job. He looked so peaceful in the casket. I broke down in tears as I grabbed his hand playing with his wedding band. I slid if off his finger and kissed his hand. I took my hand and caressed his face gently. I traced his lips before kissing them. I kissed his forehead and both his cheeks.

"I love you so much My king, I will never forget you, Ever, I want to thank you for the years we spent together. I know we had our ups and downs honey, but I want to thank you for all the good times that he shared, I will never replace you, because nobody else will love me the way you did baby. You will forever be in my heart. I rubbed his face again gently before pecking his lips. I took of picture of him and instantly heard his laugh.

"Come on baby you know I ain't with no pictures," he would always say that every time I tried taking a pic with him. I would have to sneak and take one. I smiled before walking away. My world would never be the same.

************

With Gods help I had enough strength to make it through his funeral. I had the limo drive my baby past our home one last time. As we passed my home, I thought about the day we first bought it.

How excited we were. It seemed like yesterday. He was so excited about us starting our life together. I turned my head and looked down. I told myself I wasn't going to keep crying. This would be the last tear that I would cry.

I looked over at Harlem as he slept peacefully. With Erica, Ashley and Ariel I was able to tell him. My baby boy, I told him that daddy was gone and he'd never be back. Hearing him cry tore my heart into pieces. I didn't sleep at all that night. I just held him in my arms and rocked him as he went cried himself to sleep.

I was being strong up until we reached the burial. When they lowered my baby in the ground I broke down along with Jayceon's mother. We wailed out in pain hoping God would hear our cries. When they lowered him down into the ground, I sat in the chair talking to him one last time.

"I love you so much baby, I know this isn't the end, I will see you again. I know you aren't dead, your spirit will live on in. I'll tell our baby boy everyday how much you loved him. He will know that his daddy was a good man. Until next time my King. With that I threw a rose down in the dirt and walked away grabbing both Erica and Ashley's hand.

***********

"And then the wolf said I'll huff and I'll puff and I'll blow your house down," I read as I flipped to the next page in the book I was reading. I looked down to see that King had fallen asleep. I kissed his forehead and Put the book down on the floor. I got up placing him inside his play pin. I grabbed his blanket covering him.

A ray of sunshine shine brightly throughout the

curtain. "Good morning daddy, I know you up there probably getting on God's nerves now," I said before chuckling.

"I miss you so much honey," I said as I held onto his ring that hung on my necklace.

"Our son looks just like you, I wished you could of been here for his birth baby, Its been hard with you not being here Jayce, but I know you're watching over us now, I just wanted to let you know that I'm moving the kids somewhere safe.

Everyday when I step outside the house i see myself cleaning up your blood. I promise you sweetheart, with everything in me I'm going to avenge your death, I'm going to find out who took you from us, and When I do, I promise on my life I'm going to make them suffer, I swear it on my life daddy, just wait No mercy, They fucked with the wrong one, I'm going to make them hurt the same. They will feel the wrath of Mrs. Game. Believe that.

*******