Jayceon -

It had been a week since I got out the hospital. I had a few broken ribs but I was going to be okay. I was mostly worried about Amber and the baby. I tried going to the hospital but they told me I wasn't allowed on the premises. I went by the house a couple times and Ambers siblings wouldn't let me in.

I tried to DM her on Instagram but she had blocked me. As well as on Facebook, Twitter, and Snapchat. She blocked my number too. I tried calling private, she answered but as soon as I started talking she hung up.

I didn't have nobody to be mad at but myself. I had fucked up. Big time. I didn't know how I was going to make this shit right but I had to figure something out. Grabbing my keys off the raggedy motel coffee table, I stormed out the room heading to my car. Once I got in I backed out and hit the expressway.

I had a shipment coming in later today, the police thought they had the upper hand but Kendrick called me and told me that he would take care of it. The cops were staking out near the club, probably waiting on the shipment to come in. Kendrick told me he would make sure everything would go as plan and I'd get my cut. I believed him, Kendrick was the only nigga I trusted. I trusted him with my life, I knew he wouldn't do me dirty so I didn't have anything to worry about.

The only thing I was concerned with was Amber. I wanted to see her, I wanted to know if the baby was okay. I at least deserved to know that much. While driving I spotted a couple cop cars and instantly thought of Krista. Kendrick wanted me to handle that situation but I told him not too. I wanted to handle her myself. Her and her dumb ass crew thought they knew everything, but What they didn't know was that we switched locations. I told myself after I got my cut from this drop, I was done for good. Whatever little product I had left I was going to sell it and be done with selling. I was for real this time. I didn't want to loose my wife.

Amber was my everything, but I was out here acting like I didn't have home training. When me and Amber first got together, it was hard being faithful, I was the man in the streets. I had money, a nice ass car, clothes, I let that shit get to my head.

So yes every female that walked past me I hollered at, and when Amber came home on the weekends I felt guilty all the time. She would have to deal with the evil glares, bitches coming up to her, and the minute a nigga looked at her sideways I went off the hook.

Cause I couldn't take the thought of another man having what was mine. I never put into perspective that she deserved the same respect. What women wants a man who can't hold it down and be faithful. I had to get my mind right. I found myself going to the only person who could tell me what I should do. My momma. Pulling into her driveway, I cut my engine. I pulled out my keys and went in. As soon as I walked in the smell of fried chicken hit my nose and I instantly got hungry. I hadn't had a good home cooked meal in a while. I had been eating fast food every night so I was definitely about to get my grub on.

"Hey mama," I said before kissing her cheek. She was sure enough in the kitchen frying chicken. Her apron and hands were full of flour as she picked up pieces of chicken and placed them in the bag of flour.

"Hey there my handsome son, how you been doing?" She asked me.

"I been doing good, trying to heal,"

"Yeah, how that arm feeling?" She asked as she shook up the bag.

"It still hurts but I'll be straight," I replied as I stole a chicken wing.

"Amber did one of my moves, she must of didn't swing too good cause you wouldn't be walking had I hit you," she laughed. I shook my head while grabbing the hot sauce.

"Come in Ma," I said getting annoyed.

"Oh boy hush, I'm just teasing, you know you deserved that ass woman and more, you out here just giving yo thang to anybody and you got a good woman in your corner," she said shaking her head. I rolled my eyes and went to sit down.

"Mama I ain't come over here for all that," I said angrily.

"Then what did you come over for, you know good and well I don't sugar coat shit I'm gonna tell you the truth, when you wrong and when you right, you just like your father boy," she said shaking her head.

"What you mean pops was faithful," I said back.

"That's what he wanted you all to believe, that man wasn't nothing but a hoe but he was my hoe, I loved him down to his dirty underwear, I cried night after night, the first time I found out I left him for a while, he promised me that he'd keep his tale at him with me and you and your brother and sister, and he did for a while, then when he lost his job, he got worse you couldn't make that man come home for the nothing, wasn't too much I could do, the streets had him," she said as she washed her hands. She grabbed a napkin and started drying them off before she came to sit down at the table across from me.

"Momma you never told me pops cheated," I said back.

"Why would I? Your father was your role model. He was your everything, why would I taint the imagine of him that you painted? I swept a lot of shit under the rug for the sake of my children, your father was literally Superman to you all and I just couldn't mess up the relationship that you all had, he was a good father but a horrible husband," she said.

"Listen Jayceon, you are grown enough to know right from wrong, you got a good woman by your side, beautiful baby boy and you have another baby on the way, don't mess up your blessings by running around in these streets, the clothes, these cars, and money won't last long. When you find a good woman you keep her not loose her," she added.

"By the way, Amber called me this morning, she's doing fine, both her and the baby are healthy, and she sounded like she was in good spirts, you just gotta give her time baby, she'll come back, and when she does you'd better do right by her, because I'm telling you like that nigga R Kelly say, When A Woman's Fed Up it ain't nothing you can do about it," she said before lighting a cigarette.

I pulled out the blunt I had rolled and went outside. I lit it and inhaled thinking about everything that mama said. I tried calling Amber again and this time to my surprise she answered.

"Yes Jayceon," she said like she already knew it was me.

"Hey I was just checking on you and the baby," I said into the phone.

"I'm fine the babies fine,"

"And Harlem?" I asked.

"He's fine Erica took him to the park not long ago," She replied.

There was a brief moment of silence, I wanted to apologize and pour my heart out but it wasn't the right time instead she beat me to talking.

"You can come by and get whatever you need Jayce, Ashley will be here to let you in," she said. I guess she was serious, she was done.

"Okay, well it was good hearing your voice," I said sadly.

"It was good hearing yours," she said back.

"Alright well I'll talk to you later,"

"Okay," we hung up and I finished smoking my blunt. I went back in the house once mama got done cooking we ate and watched family feud. Once we were done she fixed me a plate to go and I found myself back at the motel.

I laid down and tried to go to sleep but it hit me, I could never really fall asleep unless Amber was laying next to me I closed my eyes and tried to picture us, when we were happy. Eventually I was able to drift off.

*********

Amber -

"Amber do not call him back, you said you were done be done, this is why he's walking all over you now, you be so quick to take his ass back," Ashley said as she handed me a bottle of water.

"I'm not taking him back Ashley!" I yelled.

"So what are you about to call him back for?"

"Because as crazy as it seems I miss him," I said about to cry

"Amber you really making me sick, he cheated on you and had children with other women behind your back, he doesn't deserve you sis, why are you limiting yourself?" She asked.

"Because I love him Ashley okay, and he's my whole life, I've given him everything I don't know how to start over or move on it's always been about Jayceon," I replied honestly.

"Well listen sis you need to say the hell with him and start living your life. Make his ass sweat dubs off you for once, make his ass feel how you feel, I bet he will get his shit together,"

"Where do I even start?" I asked helplessly.

"Come on bitch you might be pregnant but you can still go out and have a little fun,"

After getting dressed, Ashley had taken me up North and we partied with the white people. Of course I couldn't get drunk like everybody else but I still had tons of fun. It made me realize that I've never really had this much fun because I was always under Jayceon. All while I was out my mind and heart kept battling with each other. I built up enough courage the next morning, I was about to start making my demands. Starting with Erica.

I was in the kitchen cooking when Erica came downstairs. "Is Jayceon here?" She asked. I slammed the skillet down turning the stove off.

"No he's not, and since you asked I don't think you need to be here either, Every-time you have a mid life crisis you up and leave, then when life is good you come back, you will not continue to do that to son," I snapped.

She looked at me sideways. "Your son?" She chuckled.

"Yes My Son! Before you came from where ever you been, I tuck him in bed, I bathe him and keep him dressed in nice clothes, I put him in school, I help him with his reading, that's my little boy, if you want to be in life then fine be here but you are no longer going to keep coming and going, whatever it is you may think you got twisted up with Jayceon end it now, because it ain't going on, and lastly this is my house and I don't think I invited you in get to stepping!" I yelled. She stormed off angrily. Once she left I grabbed Harlem and left him with Ashley.

I got in the car driving off to the motel where Jayceon had been staying. I got off and once I got his room number I knocked on the door. Within minutes he opened it. He looked so fucking good standing in front of me in nothing but a pair of boxers. I could tell he had just got a fresh hair cut, it was making princess hot and bothered.

"We need to talk," I said I looked down at the poke peeking through his boxers. He chuckled once he saw what had me bothered. He grabbed his sweats and put them on before sitting down on the bed.

"I want a divorce," I said to him. I had went and got some divorce papers drawn up, I wanted to see if he was willing to change his ways and fight for this marriage, if not then I would move around.

He looked at me with a confused look on his face. "Babe come it's 8am in the morning man stop playing," he said before laughing.

"I'm not playing this isn't a game I want out,"

He laughed like I had just told a funny joke. "Babe come on," he said but once he saw my face he stopped laughing. He rubbed his face and hopped out the bed. Going to the bathroom, I sighed.

"Jayceon the doctor told me I almost had a miscarriage, I am stressed out I can't continue to do this especially if you aren't going to be faithful then I'm done," This I was for real about.

"Man if you wanna leave do what you gotta do," He said as he came back in the room. He was turned from me so I couldn't see his face.

"So you aren't willing to work this out?" I asked him.

"Amber I can't change your mind," he said back.

"Fine then sign them," I said throwing them on the bed before walking away. I opened the door but he slammed it, grabbing me and picking me up.

"Jayce let me go," I said trying to push him back but instead he just pulled my pants off. He snatched my underwear off and opened my legs. My body began to shiver once I felt his tongue on my clit. I ran my fingers through his bald head and moaned while gripping the sheets. All you could hear was my moaning and the sounds of him slurping on my girl.

"I'm sorry baby, promise me you won't leave me," he said as he looked up at me. I didn't say anything. He kissed my inner thigh before sticking his finger inside me. I moaned out.

"I don't want you to leave baby promise me you won't," he said in that sexy demanding tone.

"Jayce you cheated on me," I sobbed. The head he was giving me felt so good but hurt at the time. All I kept thinking about was if he did this to the other women he had been with. He was supposed to only be pleasing me and giving himself to me, but yet he was giving his life to these streets. I was torn because I loved him more than anything in the world and I didn't know what to do.

I didn't really wanna leave him, but I had too. I had to do better. For myself, but in my heart I knew I couldn't walk away. As he took off his boxers and climbed in the bed I put my hands up holding him back.

"Jayce you know I want too, but sex is something sacred and I can't get out of my mind that you were with other women, I need time we need space, I don't want a divorce but we need to separate we need counseling it's not going to be this easy again," I said as I rubbed down his chest. He put his head down before saying okay and getting off the bed. I had to do this.