it hurts. it hurts so bad to know that you're never going to see me like that. i know you have a girlfriend and i know she's my friend. i shouldn't feel like this. it's so unfair to you and to her. it's horrible of me. i couldn't bear to see you unhappy because of me. i hate that i like you. i hate that i have to sit here quiet while you root for me and someone else. i hate that i told you that i like him when i'm really just trying to get my mind off you. i hate that i'm lying to you. i just don't want you to know how much i like you, because you'd feel guilty for not liking me because that's who you are. you're the epitome of the boy next door. the boy who deserves so much better than me. i'm not nearly enough for you and your perfect imperfections. so how do i stop it? how do i stop a constant thought in my mind? how do i end something that will only cause pain? how do you kill a feeling?

i guess you can't.