《ᴀ ᴘᴇɴɴʏ ꜰᴏʀ ʏᴏᴜʀ ᴛʜᴏᴜɢʜᴛꜱ?》may 25th, 2022 - words i never said

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TW:

this one is a bit on the darker side. i wasnt in a great place when i wrote it.

i think that there's just

too much

going on

in my mind.

i'm slowly dying a little inside

by drowning

in the thoughts

created by my

mind.

it's difficult to breathe -

my mind,

it's never pleased

with my suffering.

it's not satisfied

till it has a say so on

what i should do.

to deal with the pain

of being alive.

my emotion's are overflowing

turning to words

that leave my mouth

at the wrong time,

phrased in a

wrong way.

shut up.

just shut up.

the word's i'll never say

they're locked away

locked up tight

and guarded by my

pain;

silenced by my

anxiety;

so that no one can hear them.

those thoughts

they are so very beautiful;

yet so very deadly.

oh - how tempting it is;

to silence my thoughts

by drowning them in anger.

oh- to destroy something

so

beautiful.

•••

"Maybe when we die, the first thing we'll say is, 'I know this feeling. I was here before."

- Don DeLillo, White Noise

-- the image at the top is from when i first wrote it, and the picture i drew on the poem is a decent portrayal of how i mentally felt. --

little me never would've imagined making it this far...

she would be so proud.

published: september 1, 2022

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