《ᴀ ᴘᴇɴɴʏ ꜰᴏʀ ʏᴏᴜʀ ᴛʜᴏᴜɢʜᴛꜱ?》may 25th, 2022 - words i never said
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TW:
this one is a bit on the darker side. i wasnt in a great place when i wrote it.
i think that there's just
too much
going on
in my mind.
i'm slowly dying a little inside
by drowning
in the thoughts
created by my
mind.
it's difficult to breathe -
my mind,
it's never pleased
with my suffering.
it's not satisfied
till it has a say so on
what i should do.
to deal with the pain
of being alive.
my emotion's are overflowing
turning to words
that leave my mouth
at the wrong time,
phrased in a
wrong way.
shut up.
just shut up.
the word's i'll never say
they're locked away
locked up tight
and guarded by my
pain;
silenced by my
anxiety;
so that no one can hear them.
those thoughts
they are so very beautiful;
yet so very deadly.
oh - how tempting it is;
to silence my thoughts
by drowning them in anger.
oh- to destroy something
so
beautiful.
•••
"Maybe when we die, the first thing we'll say is, 'I know this feeling. I was here before."
- Don DeLillo, White Noise
-- the image at the top is from when i first wrote it, and the picture i drew on the poem is a decent portrayal of how i mentally felt. --
little me never would've imagined making it this far...
she would be so proud.
published: september 1, 2022
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