"Just sit tight, Aiden. I'll take care of you."

My eyes closed involuntarily as I could feel my heart beating faster than ever. I could feel how close her lips are against mine and a single movement would make them touch.

But as I closed my eyes, my mind pictured dark brown eyes instead of hazel ones. I saw curly dark hair and red lips. I saw the face of the woman I've been craving for.

I saw the face of the woman I have feelings for. And as stupid as it sounds, being with Vera in this position made me feel like I'm cheating on Professor Peterson.

Abruptly, I stood up before our lips could meet. I held Vera's waist to prevent her from falling before I gathered my things as quickly as I can.

"Hey, what's wrong?" Vera touched my arm lightly, making me face her. "I'm sorry, was I too forward?"

"N-No, I just...I–" I don't know what to say.

"Okay, I may have moved too fast." She chuckled awkwardly. "Look, I don't know if you've noticed but I'm attracted to you. I think you're a really great person and you're just... you make me feel special. I like you, Aiden. A lot."

"You like me?" I asked bewildered. Me? Aiden? Someone like Vera likes me? Seriously? "Why?"

"Do I really have to elaborate how much of an amazing person you are?" Vera blushed, looking down at her hands. "I know I said I wanted to be friends, but I-I realized that I have feelings for you. And if you'll take me, I... I want to ask you out on a date. Like an actual date."

I watched as her hand moved everywhere, as if trying to explain what she wants to convey with her hand movements.

"Not a friendly date?" I questioned dumbly. Vera's cheeks reddened even more as she nodded. "Oh."

Someone likes me. The romantic kind of like.

A nervous chuckle came out of her mouth. "Is that a good 'oh' or a bad one?"

"I... I honestly don't know what to say," I said with utmost sincerity. "I've never," I gestured the two of us. "experienced this."

"Getting a confession?" I nodded shyly. "Well, you could think about it first. I'm not pressuring you or anything, take some time to think."

Do I really need some time?

I already know where my heart lies. The feelings between Professor Peterson and I may not be mutual, I still have existing and growing admiration for the older woman. It is something I don't think I have control of.

Even though I found Vera with absolutely no doubt attractive and fun to be with, I don't see myself being in a romantic relationship with her. Making Vera wait despite knowing the answer already would just make her think she has a chance to begin with. So I should just be honest, right?

"I-I don't like you that way."

It's better to do it earlier, right?

"I'm really sorry, but I just see you as a friend. I just...sorry."

To my surprise, Vera only smiled. Although it wasn't the same smile I was used to. It wasn't playful or happy. "I know."

"Oh."

"Yeah." She let out a breath. "But I still wanted to give it a try, you know? In case I may have a tiny bit of chance. Don't worry about it though, I totally respect that and thank you for being honest with me."

"I'm really sorry, Vera." My lips formed an involuntary pout as I tapped my foot against the floor.

"Aw, babe, don't be!" Vera pulled me down for a hug. "You're going to make me sad if you pout like that. In all seriousness, no hard feelings, you hear me?"

"Really?" I felt her nod against my neck. "I'd understand if you don't want to be friends anymore."

I know spending time with someone you have unrequited feelings with is a punch to the gut. It's how I feel whenever I spend time with Professor Peterson and I'd see the wedding ring on her finger.

"What?! Don't be silly. I'm not in love with you, I could handle us being friends still."

"Are you sure? I don't want to hurt you."

"Yes, you cutie. See, this is why I developed feelings for you." A playful pinch to my cheek. "It's not your fault but I would need some time though."

"I could give you that. Take as long as you need."

A genuine smile formed on her lips, her hazel eyes staring up at mine. "I hope you find someone who will love you the way you deserve to be loved."

Asking for her love would be too much. I'd rather settle on being a friend she can confide in. That way, I still get to see her smile and feel her warm embrace.

Wishing for something more is basically asking for the sun to stop shining.

"Yow, dude. Where are you going? You still haven't told me what happened with Vera yesterday!" Julius yelled but I kept on walking until I found a quiet spot in the campus garden. There are no people around and the scenery looks amazing.

I took out my phone and video called a number, placing the device against the bench as I sat down on the grass.

"Hi, tita." I gave a small wave to the dark haired woman, my mama's bestfriend.

"How are things going there? Are you doing good in college?" She asked as she fixes her phone to give a proper view of herself.

"Yes, I am, fortunately."

"That's good, I'm happy for you" She smiled. "Oh, your Mama's coming. Natalie! Your daughter is waiting."

I cleared my throat to get rid of the heavy feeling as I watched my mama, wearing the usual orange jumpsuit, appear on the screen as she was guided by the chief police officer who's been helping me communicate with my mama even though it's against their policy. They were good friends in highschool.

"Kamusta na, Aiden?" (How are you, Aiden?) He asked cheerfully.

"Okay naman po," (I'm okay.) I replied politely, cringing at my accent. Within my years living in the US, my Filipino accent unfortunately disappeared and everytime I speak in Tagalog, it would sound like it's not my first language.

"Tumabi ka nga d'yan. Kakausapin na sya ni Natalie." (Step aside. Natalie will talk to her.) Tita pushed him away from the camera's view.

I tried to hold back from letting the tears fall when mama's face appeared in the screen. She sat down, giving me her sweet smile.

"Hi, baby."

"Hi, mama."

"I missed you."

I bit my lip and looked down at the box I'm holding. With trembling hands, I opened it slowly. "I bought you gifts."

"Uhm, so, I have a custom necklace," I raised the gold jewelry. "I didn't really know what design s-so the pendant is basically our surname."

"I-I also bought your favorite chocolate. And uh, look," I pulled out the box of coffee. "The coffee you've always wanted to try."

"I also wrote you a letter–"

"Can you please look at me, baby?" I shook my head. "Please, Alastair?"

The use of my second name made me look up and the sight of my mama broke me apart. Hot tears streamed down my face, and I squeezed my eyes shut, hoping the tears would stop.

"Shouldn't I be the one crying? It is my birthday, you know." The playfulness of her tone brought an unexplainable ache in my chest. "Aren't you going to greet me?"

I couldn't stand what she's wearing and the fact that I'm talking to my mama in prison on the day she's supposed to be celebrating her birthday happily. Doing this for 5 years has not changed anything for me. I still hate the fact that I couldn't do anything while my own mother suffers for something I should be the one paying for.

"Alastair."

"I can't, mama." I whined.

"We're going to see each other in a few months, aren't you happy?"

"You shouldn't be there in the first place!" I couldn't help but blurt out. "You're being treated like a criminal while I get to enjoy my life here. It's fucking unfair!"

"Baby." She said more sternly. "Calm down and look at me." I obeyed silently, eyes red as I sniffed. "What are you going to say?"

"Sorry for cursing, mama."

Mama smiled. "Now, where's my happy birthday?"

"Happy birthday, mama. I miss you so much."

"I miss you too, baby. I can't wait to hug you again."

"Have you been eating well?" A nod.

"Exercising? Remember what I taught you?" A nod.

"Promise me you'll do good in college, alright?"

I nodded pathetically once again..

"I love you, Alastair."

"I love you, too, mama."