12 years, I've been with the same man. We met when I was 22, I was still at the peak of my life. New job, new place, living with a pet and trying to survive without my parents' help. A year into the relationship when I got pregnant with our son, something we both didn't plan but chose to stick with.

At the age of 24 I wedded my husband whom I believed was the love of my life. Our marriage was great, we were in love, we were content and we were happy with just the three of us. I used to dream of growing old with him and watching as our son starts the journey of his own life.

6 years into our marriage when I noticed the sudden change. I'd wake up in the morning with him still asleep and I would sleep at night with him still at work. Our schedules never matched and we became so busy with our work that a simple 'good morning' exchange never happened.

Breakfast and lunch became something we did separately and dinner was never the same. It wasn't filled with laughs and affection but replaced with silence after asking each other's day. Our answers would be brief and short and the few times of us sleeping together in the same bed would end up with the two of us on the opposite sides, away from each other, and without a single touch.

No more making love, no more 'I love you's' every morning, no more kisses before leaving for work, no more hugs from behind everytime he gets home. It felt like living with a stranger.

None of us did something about it. I don't particularly know the reason why but that arrangement lasted for years. I guess we were too preoccupied with ourselves to try to fix what we have. We neglected our marriage and let the distance grow bigger.

2 years of living in the same house but barely interacting when I broke the

silence between us. Couple therapy, marriage counseling, we tried everything to make our relationship work again.

None of those worked.

A year of trying but hopelessly failing when my husband told me he met someone. He wore the same smile he used to have with me as he told me about the woman who now occupies his heart. He wanted to end what we have, but I wanted to give it another chance.

Another year after that, I'm still fighting for my marriage while my husband already gave up. He already found someone he's in love with and I should accept that fact. I should accept the fact that the person whom I believed was the love of my life and been with for 12 years was actually someone else's.

It was hard to let go of someone you've been used to.

Although a few months in, I realized that maybe I should finally stop. Maybe I should try to give myself a chance to be happy with somebody else. Someone who appreciates me, cares for me, worries about me, someone who will love me.

The person whom I thought was the love of my life made me realized that maybe we weren't really each other's soulmate. And that's okay. Because as he finally found his, I'm trying to accept mine.

Is it wrong of me to have feelings for someone I shouldn't have?

Lying has never been my strong suit. The first time I met her, my eyes already drank in the magnificent sight. I'd be lying if I said I didn't find her attractive, because she is. From her eyes, to her lips, strong jawline, long legs and a body seemingly mixed of being both feminine and masculine. The hardness of her biceps and abdomen along with the soft feel of her hands and touch.

Despite the darkness of her eyes, the warmth and softness shines through everytime she looks at me. Her lips would form a cute pout whenever she's being teased and would frown when she doesn't like something. Her hands are soft and warm, calming me after every embrace we shared.

Her words alone made me feel things I shouldn't be feeling. It's hard to comprehend how someone so young and innocent could help me throughout my worst moments.

Her intelligence, generosity, kindness, diligence and the way she treats my son. Those are the things igniting something within me. I could name a few more of her great qualities, but the innocent way she looks at me is what gets me the most.

She's someone I've always wanted, but can't have.

Because under the circumstances we are in, a relationship between us isn't just possible.

"What are you thinking about?" Her soft voice asked, warm eyes staring into mine. I love the few times she's confident enough to hold eye contact with me and how genuine she always seem whenever she's with me.

You.

"Nothing." I replied with a timid smile. "Why are you staring?"

"Sorry, you just look really beautiful I couldn't help but stare."

"Why do you always compliment me?"

She shrugged. "Because sometimes you forget how ethereal you are. I'm just reminding you."

And I want you to keep reminding me.

—

"Stop staring, you creep." Julius muttered, smirking as he caught me looking at Professor Peterson like a little bitch.

"I'm not." I denied, rolling my eyes.

I ignored the teasing smile and instead went back to focusing on writing notes. After she dismissed us, Julius bid goodbye and went out first to pick Lexie up.

"Miss?" I called, walking over when she looked up from typing on her laptop. "I was wondering if I could take the day off for tomorrow's hang out with Aaron. I have something to do and I don't think I'll be available."

"What are–" she paused, bit her lip and changed her question. "Of course, thank you for informing me, Aiden."

Was she trying to ask what I was going to do?

"I'll be going now, Miss. Take care." I did a small wave and a smile.

"Take care, darling."

Fucking nickname making me blush again.

I squeaked out a 'bye' before running out of her room to hide my reddening face. Entering my dorm room, I quickly changed my clothes into a casual white oversized shirt and black jeans.

I took out my phone to leave a message to Lexie who's currently on a date with Julius.

I typed out chuckling. Lexie is definitely the mom in our group.

I burst out laughing, loving how she joined in with the joke. After putting my phone back on my pocket, I waited near the parking lot for Vera to arrive. Not even a few minutes in, I noticed her car from a distance.

"Hey, cutie."

"Hi, Vera." Opening the passenger side, I entered and slumped myself down the seat.

"How was class?"

I blushed, because the first thing that came into my mind is Professor Peterson's class, or just her, basically. "It was great, loved learning."

More like staring at someone.

"How about you? How was yours?"

"Not so great, unfortunately. My professors are kicking our asses right now so I'm in desperate need for some relief and distraction."

"Well, we could do something you like?" I offered since we're going to her place, might as well do something she would enjoy.

"Something I like?" Vera repeated with a raised brow, the side of her lips moving into a smirk.

I nodded. "Uhuh, when my friends and I feel frustrated from all the school works, we usually just hang out, eat food and mostly play games."

"So, you'll do anything I want then?"

"Of course! Whatever to take your mind off of things."

"I see. Oh, we're here," we stopped at a pizza shop. Vera told me she's not in the mood to cook for dinner so I offered to just buy pizza.

Quickly getting out, I opened the door for her, receiving a thank you before we entered the establishment.

"So, what kind of games do you play?"

"A lot," I glanced around the place as Vera ordered for us. "I like call of duty, valorant, apex legends and a lot more."

"Ooh, I know the first one." She said excitedly. "I've always wanted to try that."

"I could teach you." I offered, earning an excited nod.

"Yes, please!"

Once we received our order, we drove for 10 more minutes before we arrived at her place. Taking my shoes off, I let my eyes roam the place. It's not too big nor too small, just the perfect size for two people to live in.

"You have a nice place."

"Thanks." Vera took my hand and pulled me inside, making me sit on her couch. "Go pick a movie while I prepare some drinks."

It took only a few minutes of her preparing, thankfully I already had a movie in mind. It was the new movie where one of my favorite actors is in. Vera handed me a soda while she settled for a beer and sat down beside me.

I cleared my throat awkwardly when our legs touched. Her bare legs next to my jean cladded ones.

The more intense the film became and the longer the time went on, I realized Vera is almost clinging onto me. Although I understand as I chose a horror movie, not really knowing she'd be scared. Fortunately, she's not the screamer type.

"Shit!"

Or so I thought.

Vera screamed, hiding her face behind my back. I couldn't help but laugh at her reaction. She then gave me a glare once she noticed me laughing.

"Not funny, Aide."

"Sorry, you're just so cute right now."

She raised a brow. "Me? Cute? I'm not cute, babe. I'm hot."

My eyes widened. "Y-Yeah, you are."

A bite to her red lips as she scanned my reddening face. "You're the cute one."

"T-Thanks."

Help. I can't breathe. She's so close.

Her body gravitated closer to mine, legs pressed against mine and hands resting on my shoulders. Our face inches away from each other as she wore a teasing smile.

"U-Uhm, so..." Shit.

"Shhh, no talking." Vera whispered, her warm breath hitting my parted lips.

"Just sit tight, Aiden. I'll take care of you."