tw: child abuse

The little girl cowered besides her bed as the man in front of her she grew up calling her father lays his big hands on her small and frail body. Her pleads to stop and cries for help not reaching his ears. Sobbing as she continued to accept the beating she knows she deserves for not turning out to be what he expected. The sound of belt hitting her bruising and wounded skin echoed through the empty room. The only sounds emitting were her cries, his hits, and his shouting as he breathes hard.

"Papa, tama na po!" (Papa, stop!) She whined in a desperate need of the pain to stop. Although she never disagreed whenever her father hurts her, she just couldn't handle the pain she was feeling now. The hard strikes from the belt burned against her skin, producing a loud cry whenever the metal from the end hits her. She could feel her head pounding, feeling horribly dizzy as the ringing in her ears became louder. Her body aches all over and she feels like it's the worst pain she had ever felt.

But despite her constant cries, she knows deep inside it's her fault. That she deserves getting beat up, she deserves all the pain she's feeling. If only she turned out to be the perfect child he always wanted, maybe he would've loved her, maybe he would've been happy and maybe he would've accepted her. It's her fault and she can't blame anyone else.

She feels lightheaded as the room started spinning. A loud scream of a woman she's known all her life was heard before the little girl felt wet liquid hitting her face, the image of her father's wide eyes and blood oozing out of his mouth as he coughs. A shard edge of the knife seen through his chest.

Her wailing mother cradled her pounding head against her chest. Although the beating had stopped, her body still aches as her vision starts to turn black. She gave her mother a weak smile to ease her worries before she closed her eyes, taking the rest she needed.

She wishes she could sleep forever, maybe then her father would stop hurting and everything's going to be okay. All she needs is to close her eyes and sleep. That's all she needs to do.

I jolted up awake, kicking the cover away from my hot sweating body, I breathe hard as I closed my eyes, trying to calm myself down. The burning feeling from the strikes and every single hit to my body, I felt it all again. My body aches all over. There was so much pain.

Frantically searching my body for any sign of his agonizing touch, finding nothing but fading scars.

1...2...3...

1...2...3...

You're okay, Aiden. He's not here to hurt you anymore. You're not in pain. You're not dying. You're alive. You're safe. You're okay.

I'm okay.

Eyelids shut in hopes to stop the tears from coming out. I recalled my mother's voice as she sings me to sleep, her warm smile, soft embrace, soothing tone and loving touch. Ignoring the voice in my head forcing me to remember the memories I had with my father, the memories that kept me awake at night, screaming in pain from the bruises and wounds long gone.

I hummed the lullaby she uses whenever I can't sleep. Mama would sleep beside me, hugging me tight, caressing my hair as she sings me to sleep.

Her voice was sweet and comforting, I would beg and beg her to sing for me many times and she would laugh and pinch my cheek. She'd always place a light feathery kiss on my forehead before I close my eyes and utter how much she loves me. Whenever I wake up from a nightmare, she was always there to make me feel safe.

I wish she was here to do it again.

Chocking back a sob wanting to escape my mouth, I looked up as the door of my room opened, my mom looking at me with soft eyes. She entered the room, arms spreading wide as I rush towards her side, burying my face against the crook of her neck, letting out the cry I've been holding back. Brushing my hair with her fingers as she rocks as side to side, lips constantly kissing the top of my head.

"It's okay, darling. Let it all out."

"I miss her, mom. I miss her so much,"

I cried out, fingers gripping her shirt.

"I know, I miss her, too. We'll get her back, I promise."

I stood enveloped in her arms, body unmoving as hot tears continued streaming down my face. The ache in my chest overcoming the pain of my body.

Mom pulled me down to plant a soft kiss on my forehead, smiling proudly as she holds the identification card from the university placed around my neck. Giving me one more hug before brushing down the sides of my hoodie.

"Call me if anything happens, okay?" She reminded for the nth time that I had to chuckle. She worries about me too much, but I can't really blame her. And I appreciate it.

"Yes, mom," I gave a nod for emphasis, smiling to ease her worries.

"I love you, sweetheart."

"I love you, too," I replied before approaching dad and giving him a hug as well. He lectured me a bit about college girls and the proper use of protection before letting me go with a smile. I blushed because of that.

I waved at them, my mom crying while dad comforts her, as well as laugh at her dramatic antics. Saluting to my dad as he did the same.

With a racing heart and shaky hands, I entered the campus, hand gripping tight on the handle of my luggage. Glancing around the place, seeing people probably around my age, while some looks somewhat older. A lot of them were alone like me, a fresh face in this unknown and foreign place, while someone in the company of others.

My free hand holding my schedule and the key to my dorm room, seeing as it was located in the fourth floor of the dormitory building. I entered the empty elevator, cowering in the corner when more people came in along with me. It made me feel uncomfortable being surrounded with a lot of people, despite them not even talking to me. It was suffocating.

Elevators are suffocating.

If I wasn't caring a a heavy bag and a luggage, and if my room wasn't in the fourth floor, I would be walking up the stairs. But since I am, this will have to do.

To my utter relief, they all went off before we could even reach the third floor. As the elevator door starts to close, a voice echoed through the hall. A woman walking fast in her heels, hand waving at me.

I bit my lip, although I didn't want anyone riding with me, I couldn't let the woman not get in after this. Besides, it's not like I own the elevator.

"Thank you," The woman smiled beautifully at me. Her voice was alluring and sweet at the same time.

I gave a slight nod before slightly stepping back away from her. Although I couldn't help but notice her beautiful and dark natural hair. It looks so perfect. She also has a gorgeous face, from her sharp jawline, perfectly sculpted eyebrows, dark eyes, greek-like nose and red painted lips. Her outfit also added to her overall charisma. A nude fitted turtleneck with a black blazer over it and black trousers, completing the look with black high heels.

I looked like a peasant compared next to her with my grey hoodie, a denim jacket over it, black trousers and my white sneakers.

She looks gorgeous.

"Thank you," The woman said, turning to look at me with another charming smile.

I blushed a deep red, realizing I said it out loud instead of just in my mind. I didn't know what to say and looked away from her. Hearing a chuckle coming from her when I took a step back away from her shyly.

"You look gorgeous, too," The woman complimented, making me blush even more.

"T-Thank you," I said before rushing out as soon as the elevator opened up at my floor.

That was embarrassing.