tw: death

she stood in shock as elias pulled out the necklace with his birthstone on it.

"i will always love you." he promised, clasping the necklace around her neck.

she had a large smile on her face then and it never left when she was around elias, whether it was a simple walk in stanley park or at their wedding.

elias loved her very much. she was the one that had never walked away from him ever since they had met. she had helped him acclimate to the new city and taught him how to be a great lover in every way.

she stayed by his side and now elias was staying by her side as she laid in the hospital bed.

elias remembered when they first learned that she was diagnosed with a life-threatening illness. he cried and cried and she told him everything was going to be okay.

she was a superhero in every way.

she was okay at first. no pain, no suffering, but that changed quicker than the blink of an eye and now elias spent all his free time at a hospital.

elias loved to hold her hand and talk for hours about everything and anything. it was one of the few times he wasn't worried because he could see that his wife was alive and okay, so he tried to spend as much time in that hospital with her.

of course, she was stubborn and as much as she enjoyed spending time with him, she didn't want him to always be in the hospital with her. she wanted him to go to practice, play hockey, and go spend time with his teammates.

elias did what she told him too. he did go to practice, play hockey, and spend time with his teammates, but he also spent time with his wife.

"i just don't want you to be alone in here." elias told her.

she looked at him with a soft expression, "i'm not alone. i know you're always with me." she said and picked up the necklace around her neck.

elias smiled.

that smile faded away in a month's time. he began to go to the hospital more. each time he went in, it seemed that she was getting more and more sick. elias was in pure denial every time the doctors would talk to him and say his wife's days were very numbered.

"she is strong." elias always told himself, "she won't give up"

she always shooed off elias more than usual, always telling him to go get some food or to go hang out with boes.

she didn't want elias to see her body slowly give up. she didn't want him to see her in pain. she knew every minute of her life was precious.

elias had just gotten home from practice and was making himself some food before he was going to head to the hospital to go and visit his wife.

he was rushing through making the entire thing because he wanted to get there and see her pretty face.

elias groaned as his phone went off and he jogged over to get it off of the entry table where he had forgot it.

his heart stopped when he saw the contact on the phone. his hand moved slowly as it picked up his phone and picked up the call.

"hello?" elias breathed out hesitantly.

"mr. pettersson, she passed."

elias immediately hung up and dropped his phone right back onto the table.

his body went weak and he fell to his knees.

"no no no no no." he whispered out to nothing in particular.

his head hit the floor and tears rolled out of his eyes at a fast pace. he began to sob.

this was the woman who had never gave up on anything he did. she had cheered him on for all the smart and the stupid shit he wanted to do.

"fuck." elias screamed and looked at the ceiling.

his hair fell in front of his eyes and rubbed the tears all around his red, swollen face.

"come back." he pleaded to the sky, "don't leave me. don't leave me alone."

elias got off the floor. everything in his body and his mind felt numb, but he knew he had to go say his last goodbyes.

he got into his car and made the stabbing journey to the hospital.

when he made it her room, he began to sob again. his immediate reaction was to run over and hug her lifeless body. she was cold, but warm to him.

she was home.

"she left a note for you mr. pettersson." one of the doctors said and handed him the piece of paper, "she left it on the table by her."

elias nodded with tears in his eyes and nodded. he folded the note carefully and placed it into the pocket to read when he made it home.

"she said that you can take her necklace and ring. she wanted you to." the doctor told him.

elias looked back at her lifeless body and nodded.

"can i have a few moments with her?" he asked.

the doctor nodded, "of course."

elias went and sat next to his wife's body.

"i hate that you left me, but i know you were in pain min kärlek." he whispered and held her hand.

he shook his head and sobbed against her chest for a while.

"we need to take her. i'm sorry." someone said.

elias nodded and took the necklace and ring off her finger before laying a kiss on her forehead.

"i will always love you." elias whispered to her in tears.

he put her ring on his pinkie finger and put the necklace in his pocket before walking out of the room.

elias sat in his car and cried. he couldn't do anything else with himself.

two weeks later, elias was getting dressed up in his love's favorite suit to attend her funeral.

he kept her wedding ring on his chain that he always wore. he hadn't found the strength to go through any of her clothes or stuff, planning her funeral was enough.

elias had decided he was taking a long break from hockey after she died. friends and family helped him make the healthy decision and that was it for him.

elias' parents wanted him to come back home to sweden, but he refused so they would be staying with him for a week or so after the funeral.

elias really was not ready to deal with much. his emotions were still a full on basket case as expected.

watching the whole funeral brought a whole a different level of hurt. this had cemented in his heart and brain that he would never see his wife walk on this earth again as long as he was alive.

elias cried himself asleep every night to the feeling of his empty, cold bed.

he couldn't bring himself to go visit her grave because he didn't want to see it after he saw her lowered into the ground.

he kept in strict touch with his therapists to keep himself in line.

he didn't know how to live without her.

few things made elias happy. he was learning to recover and be reminded of her in healthy ways such as his chain that had a charm of her fingerprint and initials.

after a few months, elias found the strength to go visit her grave. he had bought her favorite flowers and brought her necklace with him.

elias parked his car on the side of the road and walked into the cemetery.

he looked for a little bit before finding her grave and sitting down in the vibrant green grass.

"hi min älskling." he said and set the flowers down.

he sat there for a while and just staring at her grave. his fingers traced against every groove in the letters of her name on the stone.

when he was ready to go, he placed her necklace around the flowers he had brought.

"i will always love you."