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"𝐁𝐄𝐂𝐀𝐔𝐒𝐄 𝐖𝐄 𝐃𝐈𝐃 𝐒𝐎𝐌𝐄𝐓𝐇𝐈𝐍𝐆 𝐓𝐇𝐀𝐓 𝐒𝐇𝐎𝐔𝐋𝐃 𝐍𝐎𝐓 𝐁𝐄 𝐅𝐎𝐑𝐆𝐈𝐕𝐄𝐍 𝐓𝐎𝐎"

∽☂ ∽

𝐒𝐎𝐌𝐄𝐓𝐈𝐌𝐄𝐒 𝐈𝐍 𝐋𝐈𝐅𝐄, you end up in such situations were doing some things are weird and strange to you. You want to end that thing, but you're also pretty ambitious with ending that shit once and for all. This was the case with our heroes today. Neither of the Hargreeves at the restaurant expected to be at this point in life where the kids are seeing their old versions and Luther is being the one to make everything is calm and make sure that they do what needs to be done, even though he is doing a terrible job at it.

So Luther sipped his drink in uncomfortableness as the kids and their older versions sat across the table on the edge of their seats. Five was staring at Old Five and Y/n was staring at Old Y/n neither of them breaking their looks. While they didn't break eye contact for even a second, Luther finally spoke up.

"Well...this is nice, isn't it? The five of us, together like this."

"No." The four of them all replied in unison not looking at him and not even blinking.

"Somebody explain to me how it is that we're having a pint of Guinness with our younger selves." Old Five said.

"Older, actually." Five corrected him proudly. "We're you two, just 14 days older."

"I have pubic hair that's smarter than you." Old Y/n remarked staring at her younger version.

"I doubt that." Young Y/n smirked at that comment which made the old version of her more pissed at them.

Old Five continued asking his younger self. "How's that possible?"

"Well, we can explain." Young Five leaned on the table with his hands together. "You see, one hour from now, on the grassy knoll, before the president is killed, you two break your contract with the commission."

"We already know you're two thinking about it." Young Y/n added. "All those years in the apocalypse, we never stopped worrying about our family. How Five trapped you in the apocalypse and lied to you about the job for the commission which led to your divorce...you always wanted for life to go back to normal and act as if nothing happened." Y/n brought that up.

It was awkward, for sure. But it didn't really matter at the time. Whatever can help them get that briefcase, they will do it. So neither of them seemed to be affected by that comment, just Old Y/n to which Young Y/n seemed happy about.

Five continued explaining. "Well, today, you are going to do something about it. Today, you two are going to attempt to time travel forward to 2019. However, you are going to screw up the jump, because you will not listen to Y/n for the right equation." He pointed at the older version of Y/n. "And end up in these twips of bodies, trapped forever, small, pubescent."

Five just kept on ranting and the Old Five was pushed to the edge so he got over with it. "Okay." And he farted. "Even if we were to believe you two, what am I supposed to do about it, not jump?"

"No, no. We need you two to jump. If you two don't jump, we cease to exist." Y/n pointed at her and Five. "What we need from you is to jump correctly."

"We're listening." Old Y/n didn't even blink just stared at his younger version even when Y/n was talking.

Five continued explaining. "The first time through, I got the calculation wrong, didn't listen to Y/n that the equation looked suspicious. That's how we ended up in these bodies. But now, we know the correct calculation."

In fact, Five didn't even know the correct equation. Y/n never told him and promised herself not to reveal it to him since he didn't want it the first time, he wasn't gonna get it the second time. But in this case, she had no choice but to confess the correct one.

"What is it?" Old Y/n asked.

"We'll be glad to tell you...in exchange for that briefcase you're holding under the table." Five evilly smiled as Old Five clutched the briefcase under the table.

"Why do we need you? Y/n over here will tell me the right math if I ask her-"

"Oh, hell no." Old Y/n interrupted Old Five and farted. "I am not telling you anything. Seems like you didn't want it in the first place at all."

Young Y/n smirked and agreed. "Plus, we know everything that will happen. Just a reminder tho."

The whole time, Luther kept switching back and forth between the four of them. "Yeah, yeah, so you two go back to 2019, as planned, but this time with the right math, so you remain full-grown people. In exchange, we get that briefcase that you two no longer need."

"Timeline restored, paradox resolved. Everyone goes on existing happily ever after." Young Five summarized everything.

"That quite a bit to take in." Old Y/n replied looking down.

"What do you think?" Young Five asked and squinted his eyes as silence filled between the five of them for a couple of seconds.

"I think...I need to piss." Old Five said before standing up, taking his things, and walking away to the bathroom leaving everyone kind of startled.

As Old Five walked away, Y/n smiled and grinned at her older self. "Guys, could you give us some privacy? The girls would like to chat." She looked over to Luther and Five before back at her older version. The Old Y/n just looked suspiciously at her.

Luther and Five exchanged some confused glances before doing what they were told to do: they stood up from the table and walked away from the two women to the corner of the room to respect their privacy. Plus, Five thought that if Y/n gained Old Y/n's trust, it would be much easier.

But Old Y/n wasn't very thrilled with her smaller version being alone with her. So she went straight to the point. "Is it true? That I know the right equation?"

Young Y/n evilly smiled. That would be something she would also do in that situation, so she was glad that she is going to guess what she will say. "Yes, you do. But with us, you won't really have time to calculate it, will you? So, I will tell you and you give us the briefcase, deal? It's much easier and less work."

Old Y/n squinted her eyes in suspicion of that idea. "Why should I trust you? It kind of looks like you and Five are back together. Which I cannot approve."

Old Y/n's smile slightly dropped and she looked away from her at the ground knowing that she might bring it up. "Yes, we are. But that is beside the point-"

"No, no it's not." Old Y/n immediately cut young Y/n off which left her in shock. "We hate him. What he did is completely unacceptable so how can you forgive him?"

The whole time Old Y/n was talking, Young Y/n had already known the answer to that so she almost cut her off too shaking her head. "Because we did something that should not be forgiven too."

Old Y/n just stared in shock. She didn't think that they would be able to do something bad when they have been the victim in their story. Both of Y/n's were sitting there in silence for a couple of seconds before Young Y/n spoke again.

"Five should not forgive even us. But he did so move on past that. You will know what it is in the future. I just need to know if I can trust you, okay? Are you in for this?"

Old Y/n looked away and thought about it and after a couple of seconds replied. "I think...I need to discuss this with my ex-husband." She stood up from the table and walked over to the bathroom where Old Five and Luther were.

Young Y/n sat there startled for a couple of seconds before walking over to Young Five as scoffed in disbelief. She was sweating and was hit by paradox psychosis too at this point since the interaction with her older self didn't go as planned and it annoyed the hell out of her. And Five, of course, noticed that.

"Huh, guess you're not so resistant to the seven stages either." He mocked her.

"Oh, shut up." She rolled her eyes knowing that it was stage one, denial. "I don't trust them, how about you?" She pointed in the direction where Luther and their older versions went.

"I don't trust them too, but we have no choice so we just have to bear with them. Did she agreed to the deal?"

Y/n heavily sighed knowing it will disappoint him. "I don't know. But I hope she does."

"Yeah, that's true. But what if something goes sideways?" Five asked.

"We just have to trust Luther on this one. Which is not the best option considering his lack of intelligence, but we're desperate so anything will help us." Y/n said wanting to have some faith in her brother.

Just as she said that the three of them walked outside of the bathroom and came back to the kids. Their attention was moved to them and they composed themselves.

"We good?" Five's eyes went wide once again, but this time, Y/n's so did too.

"We're good." Luther nervously smiled which was suspicious but didn't draw any attention to the kids.

"You two got yourself a deal. We gotta hurry. Kennedy's en route. Less than an hour until showtime." Old Five answered as he exchanged glances with Old Y/n who nodded.

"Why are you two so anxious to get going all of a sudden?" Y/n grinned as she put her hands on her hips.

"Relax. You're getting paranoid." Old Y/n smirked at her.

"Oh, are we?" Young Y/n mocked her as all four of them farted.

Then Luther broke this whole thing. "Okay, let's roll."

So Luther, Old Five, and Old Y/n went out the door in the fastest way possible as the Young versions of them stayed at the bar. They exchanged one last glance and walked out.

On her way out, Y/n heavily sighed and wiped the sweat off her forehead hoping this would be over. "This should be fun."

∽☂ ∽

"𝐖𝐇𝐀𝐓 𝐀𝐑𝐄 𝐘𝐎𝐔 𝐋𝐎𝐎𝐊𝐈𝐍𝐆 𝐀𝐓? 𝐒𝐄𝐄 𝐒𝐎𝐌𝐄𝐓𝐇𝐈𝐍𝐆 𝐅𝐔𝐍𝐍𝐘?" Five shouted as he and Y/n walked together in the back while the old versions of them walked in the front with Luther. "Or are you looking at her? She's mine, you idiot!" He pointed at some innocent man.

Y/n wasn't hit by paradox psychosis that bad, so she tried to get Five into the right state of mind as she always does until she could. "Hey, calm down. We need to just stay on-"

"Mind your business! Or I'll give you something to stare at." Five scratched his body as he yelled even more cutting off Y/n in the process. "You wish you could pull of these shorts!" Five shouted.

"Jezz, Five! I get it but like-"

"Yeah, Y/n, I know you wish that!" He leaned in closer at her and sighed.

"Oh for God's sake, just calm the hell down." She scoffed and put her hands together on her chest. "And I already did that so you're kinda wrong there." She said the last part kind of to her.

Then Luther stopped and waited for his little siblings to catch up with him as the older versions of them walked in the front. Y/n was on Luther's right while Five was on his left. "Hey, brother, sister." He fake acknowledged them turning at both of them. "How you doing?" They started walking down the stairs.

Five looked at the old assassins in the front as he figured out what was going on. "They're gonna kill us, aren't they?"

Luther fake scoffed and laughed at that. "What? What, them? They're gonna kill you two?" Luthe continued to act like everything is fine but he was worse than bad at it. "Yeah, right. That's ridiculous."

Y/n rolled her eyes and scoffed at this whole act. "You know, you're a terrible liar, Luther. You're a worse liar than you are a spotter."

Luther just lost it at this point. "Okay, who's fault is that? What good is having a spotter if you won't even listen to him?"

Five didn't break his gaze off of Luther for even a single second as he was talking to Y/n. "So you admit you're conspiring against us?"

"Do...Do you admit that you two suffering from paradox psychosis?" Luther almost cut him off.

"All we're suffering from is bracing clarity about you and your murderous intentions." Y/n fake smiled and itched her chest.

"Look, it's not like they're gonna "kill you" kill you. They just want to kill a, um.." The kids stopped in their tracks as Luther went down the stairs and pointed at them. "...version of you two."

"But we're that version of them." Both of the kids said at the same time as they scurried their way to Luther.

"Hey, I don't love it, either, but they actually got a pretty good plan." Luther said as he looked away from them.

"What? The one where you guys off us and then jump to 2019 to save the world?" Y/n glared at him as she explained while Five just sniffled and used his whole hand to wipe his sweat off his face with his jacket.

"Yeah, wait, how did you know that?" Luther was surprised and that just made it clear that even when they are suffering from paradox psychosis, they are still smarter than him. Which was unbelievable.

Y/n rolled her eyes and scoffed at that. "Because we're them, and that is exactly what we would do if we were trying to kill ourselves!"

Luther put his hands near his face out of frustration and complication. "Okay, all I know is that we've got one Five and one Y/n too many, and you two are the ones acting like maniacs."

Luther walked in front of the kids once again as they stared at his ridiculous behavior. "Maniac? Luther, you have seen nothing. If you want some maniacs, we'll show you some maniacs." He leaned in and kind of even pushed Luther to his side from coming too close as the big man just stared in confusion. Five walked in front leaving Luther behind while Y/n just wiped the sweat off her forehead and went up to the boy.

Then Luther rolled his eyes and walked up, pointing at them. "Okay, as your spotter, I think the best thing I can do for you right now is put you out o your misery."

But Five just tried to walk away from him in front, but he always just made his way closer to him. Y/n was next to Five and she was starting to lose patience with him as well.

"Okay, Luther, listen." Then Five turned around and took Luther by his hands as his girl stood right next to him trying not to snap and let him rant to the man. "We know your feeble mind only responds to age and authority, so listen very closely. Yet again, you are experiencing daddy issues..." Five pointed at him as Luther rolled his eyes.

"...this time with your own siblings, which honestly is making us a bit crazy. But remember this: we're 14 days older than them." The boy pointed at their older versions. "We have seniority here. So it is us you should be listening to, Luther." He pointed at him and the girl.

"I'm the daddy here!" He yelled with his hands in the air.

Y/n looked at him kind of confused that he was losing his mind that hard. "And Y/n? Y/n's the mommy!" He yelled even more.

The pedestrians started whispering in confusion but not one of the kids was embarrassed that Five just did that. Luther on the other hand was trying to make it seem like everything was fine. "How's it going?" He forced laughed as he looked over at them. Then he took the kids by their back and started dragging them forward. "Guys, please, you're being unseemly. Look at yourselves."

The girl saw that Five needed some time to calm down so she spoke up. "We admit there is a possibility that we may not be in our fully..." She put her right hand on her chest and her left hand in the air as to say that she swears. "...right mind right now."

"Okay, good." Luther was starting to think that they were gonna understand that they are not really okay.

But Five didn't let go and almost ignored Y/n's response to Luther, still trying to prove his point. "But whatever we've got, they've got it too." Five pointed at their older selves and Y/n rolled her eyes. Then the both of them walked to the others.

"You three quit grab-assing. We're here." Old Five yelled to notify them that they made it to the right place.

"This is about to go down." Five whispered to Y/n as they walked not breaking his look of his old version.

"Compose yourself, Five." Y/n softly replied. "Let's just stay on the work we need to do, all right?"

The place was a parking lot with a fence that separated it from the grassy knoll. The road where Kennedy was gonna drive and is gonna get assassinated was just near the fence, but the trees covered the view a little bit.

The people chattered nearby, excited about the president's visit as Old Five and Y/n got ready for their work. Five used to do most of the work, but Y/n still contributed to it. But while they were getting ready, the two of them farted which Luther noticed.

"Flatulence. Stage four." He softly whispered to the kids.

Five scratched his neck and hair. "See? What's your plan now, bucko?" But he couldn't avoid it either. He put his hands together and rolled his eyes. "That was just lunch, all right? Shut up."

The two kids walked away from Luther as he continued standing there with a blank look thinking whose side should he take.

"God, this is hard." Y/n crossed her arms and leaned against a car as Five walked over to her.

"I know. But maybe we should do something now, huh? What do you think?" At this point Five was sweating like crazy, his eyes were red and wide as little plates and he looked like he was on the verge of losing his sanity completely.

Y/n's look landed on him and she noticed it. "Jeez, Five, you don't look too good."

"Well, you don't look so good yourself." Five remarked. Y/n squinted her eyes in confusion. But she touched her head and noticed that she looked like she just took a shower or something. But then she and Old Y/n locked looks and she glared at her with menacing looks.

"God, I hate that bitch."

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