IN BLOOM

♡

other teenagers, wizard or not — doesn't see the start of January as a new year, but rather, the start of September, when school's back in session. A new school year for Briar is cathartic: sure, she's the same person, no resolution will change that, but a new school year brings a new mind set. This year it's, let's get on with it, and let's get good grades. She doesn't know if she'll do pranks, or at least, as much. What's the point? She lives with her dad. There's no point in sending her grandpa a message... He already does that, every single day. His letters trying to guilt Briar into going back to him have been thrown straight into the bin, the second that they show up.

The thing is this — her grandpa knows that once Livvy's made his mind up, there's no point trying to sway him. Once Livvy learnt about the full truth, that was it, he's never speaking to his grandpa again. Briar, on the other hand...

Well, Briar always wishes that everything could work out fine and that people don't mean to be nasty. It's easy to guilt her. She wants everyone to be happy, which just isn't possible. She's gone three weeks without seeing her grandpa — two without speaking, considering for the first week she read the letters before Livvy took them off her — and already she's having to remind herself that he isn't a good person. It's ridiculous. She knows he's a bad man, she's spent the last year resenting him for his shitty actions, and yet she still feels guilty when Livvy gets rid of the letters, before Briar can even rise to take the envelope off of him.

She thinks some of Livvy's newfound protectiveness comes from the fact that he found out about Briar's secret, when he walked into Briar's room on the night they left for their dad's, and he said, "Dad's all right then, isn't he?"

Briar nods, smiling softly. "I didn't know how you'd react," she tells him. "I would've introduced you two, I just... I didn't think you were interested."

"I wasn't," he says. "But I like him. He's pretty fucking cool... And he says he's still got our grandma's records upstairs, and he said I could have them! How fucking sick is that? Apparently she had loads of Elvis and Frank—" Frank, meaning Sinatra, Livvy's first love. Livvy's eyes are wide with joy. "I'm growing to this already."

"I'm glad to hear it," she says, and she thinks, you're about to say it, come on...

The smile fades from her little brother's face, as he looks around anxiously, looking hesitant. Briar begins to feel nervous as well, her inner eye warning her of what her brother's about to say. "You know Draco sent me a letter at the end of last year, telling me what happened with Dad," says Livvy. If anything, Briar loves that Livvy's calling him Dad. He pauses, and Briar thinks, spit it out. Get this over with. Let Briar hear "you're fucking disgusting" and let her get on with it. "Saying how Dad's a werewolf..."

Briar nods. "Yeah, uh, Fred did the same..."

It sounds stupid, she knows it does, but just the memory of her best friend makes her feel a little less nervous — no, not nervous. She dreads what her brother's going to say, what her inner eye's telling her is about to happen. But, she feels comforted by the thought of her best friend. Even though he will never find out Briar's secret — she swears now, hell will freeze over before Briar says those three words to Fred — she still feels comforted.

"And Dad, uh, he was telling me how he was when he first went to Hogwarts, when none of his friends knew what he was. Like, how he would get very quiet around the full moon, how he'd stay to himself around that time but be fine afterward," says Livvy. "And I dunno... It reminded me of you."

Briar feels her stomach tie into knots. "I think you know why."

"Are you really a werewolf?" her little brother asks her, and he stands up. He looks surprised, maybe even sad, but not at all disgusted. She finds that strange.

Briar nods. She still can't say it, she still can't find the courage to say aloud I'm a werewolf. She can't. Part of her won't let her say it, because maybe, if she doesn't say it aloud, if she just gets on with it, it isn't a fully-fledged problem for her to deal with. Briar won't become, Briar the Werewolf but instead she'll stay as Briar. Briar Crouch, maybe Lupin. Briar the Seer. Briar, the girl that left Hogwarts. Not Briar the Werewolf. It would crush her, people seeing her and their first thought being she's a monster.

"When—?"

"The day we were told we were going to Beauxbatons," says Briar. "Grandpa had been saying nasty stuff when Greyback was being held by the Ministry and..." She smiles weakly. "The rest is history."

"Why—Why didn't you tell me?"

Briar looks across at him, as if it's now her turn to hesitate. She glances at the door, to check that's it's closed shut. Her inner eye predicts that her dad, in less than a minute, will walk from the living room to the kitchen: he'll be downstairs, he won't hear this. She almost tells her brother, Because I'm disgusting, but she knows it'll crush him. It would crush her, hearing him say that. So she picks something else.

"I don't want anyone to know," says Briar. "Please do not tell any of your friends, I can't have anyone finding out... As soon as people know the truth, they'll turn their backs. I won't be able to get a job when I'm older, just like Dad, I'll struggle with everything... Please keep this a secret."

"I will," says Livvy. He frowns at his big sister, before he stands up and walks towards her, opening his arms to give her a hug. Briar smiles softly, and she hugs her little brother. "I won't tell anyone, all right?" He smiles at Briar. "I mean, I know what it's like to be different..." And Briar nods, remembering when he came out to her last summer. "That's why I like Holly so much. She isn't gay but she's really accepting about it..." And then Livvy began to talk about his new best friend, which was nice for Briar, especially when her little brother's emphasising how this friend of his is "really accepting." It's a nice change from Draco.

But anyway. Start of September.

Briar doesn't exactly love the start of the school year (who does?) but she likes the return to routine, the feeling of a new start. She wakes up fairly early, mostly so that she's got time to pack her last things into her trunk before she goes to the train station. There's multiple trains for Beauxbatons, because of the diversity of the students, but the one Briar and Livvy use is the same one Fleur uses. It starts off in London and stops in certain cities in France on its way towards the south of the country, where the school is. Fleur's family has a house in the countryside, but it's easier for her to take the train from Paris, which is where she'll meet Briar on the train.

"If you need anything, let me know," says Remus to Briar and Livvy, as they eat their breakfast. Remus got pancakes as a farewell treat, with strawberries and everything. Briar thinks that he's already starting to miss them, which she understands, but it upsets her a little. She doesn't like seeing her dad unhappy. "Briar, if you need anything for the full moon—"

"I'll let you know," says Briar, and she takes a bite of a strawberry. She's already gotten dressed, her hair tied up in a red scrunchie. "It's fine, Dad. I dealt with it for a year and it was fine—"

"But you have us now, if you need help," says Remus. "If you need to talk about anything..."

Briar nods, and she smiles softly at her dad. She's going to miss him. Thank Merlin he can Apparate to the village students visit on weekends, or else she'd go mad. She knows it sounds bad, but part of her is so thankful that he's a werewolf. It makes her feel so much better. And she wouldn't admit this, because she knows that she shouldn't be thankful someone had to go through the full moon, through all of the fucking pain, but it's nice to know that she can talk to someone and they'll get it. Her dad's been in her shoes before. He knows what she means when she says she feels like a monster.

"I'll try and visit you, too," says Sirius, and he grins at the two. Briar smiles. "'Course, you might look a little weird, talking to a dog..."

"Briar already looks like a freak when she does that with Sergeant," says Livvy, and like that, the new addition to the family walks into the kitchen, having heard his name and smelt the food in the air.

So, let's rewind quickly: a couple of days ago, Briar found a dog abandoned in a field, his leg tangled in some thorns. Briar took the dog back to their house (which was difficult, considering the little guy's a German shepherd, and Briar had to carry him) and after an hour of pleading with her dad, he said she could keep the dog. He was mostly concerned that Briar would struggle to look after the dog, but then Briar explained how she'd make sure that the dog (called Sergeant) was looked after, including getting dog food in the village's pet shop, to walking him every single day. She thinks Sirius quietly reminded Remus how Sergeant could keep Briar company on full moons, because she wouldn't harm him, and that helped to get Remus on board. (Briar loves her godfather, so fucking much.)

Sergeant sits at the table, next to Briar. She found out, when she was asking around in the local village to see if anyone had lost a dog, that Sergeant had belonged to the old farmer before he died, but he got lost, and no one tried to find him. "But it's fine, because he found his person, didn't he?" the man in the post office had said to Briar, and she had smiled brightly, before having to make up an elaborate lie about what school she goes to.

A few minutes pass and they start to get ready to leave, Briar pulling on her white Converse and tossing her bag over her shoulder, the one with her uniform stuffed inside so she can change on the train. It would look a little weird if she and Livvy walked through London in head-to-toe in baby blue. Also, she'll probably see people on their way to Hogwarts, and there's no way they're seeing Briar in the God-awful formal hat.

Here's the thing: Beauxbatons has two uniforms. One is the everyday uniform, the one you wear to classes and whatever, where it's either a skirt or trousers (light blue of course) with a shirt tucked in and a blazer on top. Then there's the formal uniform, which is what they wear on the first day of term for the assembly, and for special occasions. For Briar, this is a dress with a small cape draped over it, and this fucking ugly hat that's pointed and looks like a fucking turnip. It's fucking disgusting. Like, Briar doesn't mind the rest of her formals, it's just that stupid shitting hat that's the problem.

But anyway. Briar would rather die than step foot in the middle of London in her formals, so she isn't. And it's not like she's the only one that does it. It's the same as Hogwarts — it's easier to change on the train, because then you don't have half of western Europe wondering why all of these teenagers in light blue silk outfits are going on trains. Like, sure, Briar admits that she prefers the uniform to Hogwarts' (the blazers are, like, pretty Chanel which is always important) but she still fucking despises the hat.

When they get to Kings Cross, Livvy spots Holly and Draco with Narcissa Malfoy, and walks ahead to speak to them for a few minutes, taking Sergeant with him. They're early, so they've got time. In the meantime, Remus and Briar stand in the queue for a muggle café to get hot chocolate.

"I don't know if Beauxbatons works the same as Hogwarts, with Hogsmeade weekends, but let me know when I can visit," says Remus, mentioning the different names quietly. "I've got to visit both you and Livvy before Halloween—"

"Why?" says Briar, raising an eyebrow.

Remus pauses, before he smiles at her. "You'll find out soon enough."

Briar pulls a face. "You're turning into Mr and Mrs Weasley," she tells him. "They've been saying all summer that there's something special happening at Fred and George's school this year, but they won't say what... You're like, a proper grown up now. You're keeping secrets from me."

"Do you remember that I didn't tell you about my... condition for a year?"

"Uh, yeah, but that's understandable, I did the same," says Briar, shrugging. She's still frowning at him. "Why won't you tell me what's happening?"

"Because it'll ruin the surprise," says Remus.

"I hate surprises," says Briar. "I could just—"

"This is a good surprise," says Remus. "Just wait. You'll find out today what it is... You don't need to jump the gun and predict the surprise now, okay?" Briar scowls. "I promise you you'll be happy with it."

"OK..." says Briar, her brows furrowing as she looks across at her dad, who's gaze has fallen onto the display case. No doubt he's looking at the chocolate muffins, because Briar's doing the same. Merlin. It's ridiculous, sometimes. The second Briar remembered that chocolate's allergic to wolves her sweet tooth got worse, in a sort-of "fuck you" to the whole thing. Like, look, bitch, I'm not a real animal, am I? Because look at this double chocolate muffin that I'm eating, and the pain au chocolat I had for breakfast, fuck you fuck you fuck you—

Now, she can't wait until later. She wants to find out what this stinking surprise is. Part of her wants to just look into the future — it's not like she can't — but then, in her mind, there's the image of her dad looking excited about her finding out this super special thing. Like, she hates surprises, but she feels like she's letting her dad down, by jumping the gun. Does that make sense?

Briar and Remus walk out of the café, a chocolate muffin tucked into her bag for later. She's holding onto a cardboard holder for two hot chocolates, to give Livvy his once he returns.

"Fancy seeing you here," says a familiar voice, and Briar's heart stops.

She turns around to see Fred and George, their trunks by their sides. A massive smile appears across her face as they grin back at her.

"I'd hug you if my hands weren't full," says Briar, gesturing to the hot chocolates in one hand, and her trunk's handle in the other. Well. It's technically a valise, a fancier looking trunk that's all white, along with gold hardware and light blue details; Beauxbatons send them out for free, once you're accepted. It's sort of their way of making the students represent the school without having to wear the uniform. She can see the twins looking at it, and she shrugs. "Yeah, uh, school gives them to us..."

"School?" says Fred, frowning.

"Yeah, Beauxbatons," says Briar.

She knows what he means. She's saying "school," not Beauxbatons. By her saying that, it shows that Beauxbatons is her school, not Hogwarts. For a while, in her letters to the twins, she always made it clear that she still saw herself as a Hogwarts student, as a Gryffindor. Now... She doesn't really know. She hasn't really minded not thinking of herself like that, but seeing the twins' faces...

"Right, 'course," says Fred.

George scoffs, but it's forced. "You know what that is, don't you Fred?"

"Unfortunately," says Fred, and he grimaces.

Briar looks over at Remus, who's talking to Mrs Weasley. She looks over at Livvy, still with the Malfoys, and she turns back to the twins. For the first time in her life, she feels awkward around them.

It's bizarre! Even when she was thinking about Fred being hot, she didn't feel awkward around them! But now, she's pleading with her inner eye to tell her how long Livvy will be, how long she'll have until this is over...!

"So, uh, have you found out about this big surprise yet?" says Briar, referring to the similar comments Mr and Mrs Weasley had been making all summer.

George shakes his head. "Not in the slightest."

Fred pulls a look. "Although we've been forced to pack dress robes."

Briar looks at them oddly. "That's weird."

"What's that supposed to mean?" says Fred, tilting his head a little.

Briar rolls her eyes. "I didn't mean it like that, fool," she says. She glances over at her dad, still talking to Mrs Weasley. "My dad said that he needs to visit me soon at school, so I can get a dress..."

"That's... weird," says George.

"Yeah," says Fred.

"Dad says I'll find out later, whatever my surprise is," says Briar. She smiles weakly at the two of them, her inner eye showing Livvy arriving in three, two...

Livvy takes hold of his hot chocolate, grinning. "Dad says you've got my muffin," he says, looking pleased with himself. Livvy doesn't have the same affinity for chocolate, so he's got a blueberry one, which he's just as excited about.

"Uh, yeah, in my bag," says Briar dismissively, before looking back at the twins. "So, um..."

"See you soon," both of them say, mumbling. Both of them look sad — she thought it was bad, when they thought they were saying their final goodbyes a couple of days ago. Now, it's heart-wrenching for Briar.

She glances at Livvy. "Can you—?"

Livvy takes hold of the hot chocolates, and Briar moves forwards, hugging Fred and George. They hug her back, and already she misses this. She misses them. They're her first best friends. They're the first people she's trusted as much as she trusts Livvy, they're the reason she's so confident, they—

"We need to go, boys," says Mrs Weasley, although she doesn't sound like she wants to be telling them that. Briar pulls away, and she looks up at the twins.

"I'll see you soon," says Briar, forcing a smile.