ANGEL EYES

(JUNE, '94)

♡

likes to see everything in three ways — before, during, and after. As a Seer it makes things easier to think about, considering her inner eye already jumps to the after part of everything... And, really, for a girl that deals with a lot of shit, everything becomes a little easier to live with when you think, in just two hours, I won't be doing this, I'll be doing something far nicer. It helped her get through full moons especially, the idea of, tonight's going to a nightmare come to life, but, tomorrow morning I'll be able to go into the town near Beauxbatons with Fleur, and we'll be able to get pretty matching necklaces and maybe a couple pastries.

All of this year, that's been the case. Briar'll find herself sitting in one of her Fine Arts lessons and she'll be thinking, this time in eight hours, I'll have snuck out and I'll be turning the third floor corridor into a swamp.

But, now, as Briar lies on her bed in her dorm room, thirty minutes until the train running to Paris leaves, the thing on her mind is miles different to what it normally is. Instead of thinking about her next prank, she's thinking about what's going to happen when she leaves Beauxbatons for the summer — because, sure, her grandparents don't know what she's doing, nor does Livvy, so there's no way that they will find out... But what if they do? What will they do if they find out she's not only lied to them, about staying over at her new friend Fleur's house for the weekend, but she lied about it to spend the weekend with her father?

That's not the main reason, though, why Briar's shitting herself over this weekend. Sure, her grandparents would be furious if they ever found out, but they'll get over it. Her grandpa thinks she's too much of a golden girl and he'll blame her misbehaviour on someone else. It's weird that Madam Maxime's yet to let him know about the amount of misadventures Briar has been on whilst at Beauxbatons, but even then, Briar knows that her grandpa will say something like, "It must be the influence of those friends from your old school, still gripping onto you..."

No. The main reason Briar's worried is because she thinks she's made the worst decision of her life. And that is this — she's going to tell her dad the truth. Ever since she found out he was at Hogwarts, they've been writing to each other, and Briar managed to meet him during Christmas, and Beauxbatons' Easter holidays. Sometimes, too, he'd be able to Apparate into the towns Beauxbatons students can visit on weekends; the main concern would be avoiding her little brother Livvy, who still sees their dad as their grandparents described. 'An awful man that abandoned you the second it became too difficult, the second his wife was killed...'

(Which is far from the truth, but Briar still doesn't get what happened. She's just happy to have her dad.)

Well. After today, she may no longer have a dad... Again.

Because, OK, the thing is, she wants to believe that he'll be completely understanding of what happened to her, and that he won't look at her any differently, but Briar doesn't want to fall into that trap. She thinks that the second she puts her guard down and assumes that people will be empathetic about her curse, she'll get herself into trouble. She knows that not everyone will be as kind as Fleur was when she found out, about thirty minutes before Briar's first full moon at Beauxbatons. She knows the reality of her situation — if she keeps it quiet, no one will know otherwise. But if she's open about it... Well, she'll never get a job, she'll most likely get kicked out by her grandparents, and she'll have ruined her whole life. Like, her thought process is this: yes, the curse has royally fucked her life up, but if she doesn't keep the curse a secret, she'll ruin what's left of it.

Briar knows what happens to werewolves. Before last summer she didn't (admittedly she was scared of them) but now she does. Werewolves never find jobs, they never live normal lives. The second you say to someone those fatal words, "I'm a werewolf," they'll never look at you the same. And she's unhappy about it, sure, but like she thought when she was first bitten — when the going gets tough, you get tougher. She'll fight through this and she'll fight for a normal life. She just... has to be careful of who she reveals her secret to.

Her dad seems like a good person to tell. She trusts him, and she knows that he won't tell anyone else, because she's his daughter, he's got to keep it a secret. You see those stories on the news about children being murdered on mysterious circumstances, and Briar sees the older brother, and she just knows the parents covered it up, to save their child.

It still doesn't mean she's calm about telling him, though.

Her head rests on her pillow and her gaze is fixed upwards, on the light-blue mural painted on the ceiling, as she rests her hands on her chest. Beauxbatons, Briar's learnt, is different to Hogwarts in many ways. The first thing that caught her off guard was the fact that Beauxbatons doesn't have houses, and the dorm rooms are organised with two per room. And, get this, the two in the room don't have to be in the same grade — instead, they'll be put together somewhat randomly. Briar says somewhat because she's certain the senior staff like to put students together, thinking that they'll be able to get along well. Briar figures they put her with Fleur because she's a Seer and Fleur's part-Veela, making them both weird enough to get each other. Fleur's also put it down to the fact that people don't like being friends with her — "Who wants to be friends with the Veela? It's, um, shooting yourself in the foot... If we were at a party, and a pretty boy walks up to us, he's always going to go for me."

"Do you know what you're going to say?" asks Fleur, glancing across at Briar from the other side of the room, where her bed is. Her white trunk is placed onto her bed, as she finishes her packing.

"Um, no," says Briar. She sits up, pulling a face. "I guess I'll just come out with it. Or... I dunno. I suppose I'll know the right thing to say when I'm there."

"Are you nervous?"

"Completely."

Fleur smiles softly at her. "Let me know what happens."

"Will do," says Briar. "What if it goes wrong, though? What if he turns around and says that he actually hates werewolves, and that he doesn't want to see me, like, ever again?"

"Then I'll kill him?" says Fleur, pausing her packing to look across at Briar. The worrying thing is, Briar isn't sure if Fleur's joking or not...

Briar's inner eye gives her an image of two owls flying into her room through the window, so she stands up, waiting next to it. It's already cracked open, the warm summer air quickly becoming stuffy in an old castle like this. Beauxbatons is the sort of old castle that can never get the weather right — in the winter it's freezing, unless you tend the fire in your room, and in the summer, it can't deal with the heat. It's frustrating, really, when you just want to get to your first lesson without feeling sweaty and gross.

An owl flies through the window, and immediately Briar recognises it as the one used by the Weasleys, the twins especially. She takes the letter from the owl.

"Is it from Fred?" says Fleur, with a sly grin.

"Stop it," says Briar, seriously. "It can hear you," and she gestures to the owl that, frankly, is more interested in the owl treats in Briar's hand, than anything Fleur's got to say about its owners. Like, "he sends you a lot of letters!" and "ooooooh, has he declared his love yet?"

"It agrees," says Fleur, and as Briar grimaces, she lets out a laugh.

Briar almost puts the letter away to read when Fleur isn't watching over her shoulder, ready to point out anything remotely affectionate. But, she sees Fleur standing near her, waiting to read it after her, and Briar rolls her eyes, opening it.

She sees Fred's handwriting, but, there's no To Briar at the beginning, or even just Briar. Instead, there's one sentence, one question, that makes her brows furrow.

We've just found out your dad's a werewolf...?

"What the fuck," says Briar.

"What did he—?" says Fleur, almost accusatory. She takes the letter from Briar, who doesn't know what to do. Part of her thinks it must be a joke but then she thinks, there's no way it could be a joke, how would Fred know that would freak me out? Quickly it turns into, what if he found out and this is his way of being pissed off because I didn't tell him the truth? Briar feels her head start to swim with thoughts and feelings and worries.

And then it hits her.

"Oh my God, I've been worrying about what a werewolf is going to say about this?" says Briar, her eyes wide still. She grabs a hold of Fleur, beginning to grin. "I'm going to be fine! He isn't going to disown me, he's—he's going to know what to do! I'm not going to be blind about everything anymore! Oh my God, Fleur, this is fucking amazing—!"

Another owl flies into the room. This time, the letter given to her is addressed in her dad's handwriting.

Briar,

I figure that you already know. If you don't want to speak to me again, I completely understand — just remember that you'll always have your father to talk to if you ever need him. I love you very much, and I wish things didn't happen like they did.

Dad x

Briar jumps onto the desk chair, grabbing the last of the parchment to write a letter.

Dad,

IT'S FINE!!!!! I don't mind!! I still want to see you, I still want to go to yours this weekend!!!

Lots of love,

Briar xx

"Can you send this to my dad?" she says to the owl that arrived second. It seems to nod at her, before flying off, with a mouthful of treats. She then turns to the owl the Weasleys use, and she gives the other letter, to be sent to Fred.

Freddie

I've just gotten a letter from my dad... Things should be fine. Thank you for letting me know (what would I do without you? ;-))

Also, uhhhh... What are we doing in the summer? Considering I haven't seen you in a YEAR

Briar xx

Briar can't believe this. She can feel her heart swelling with happiness as she makes her departure from the school grounds, walking with Fleur to get the train running from Beauxbatons to Paris. How did she, in two seconds, manage to get the best stroke of luck since... well, since she met the twins? She doesn't even have to worry about what her dad is going to say. Briar, for the past few months, has thought that she's been given the best dad in the universe, but now, it's been cemented. He's a werewolf too. The one adult she can always trust, always ask for advice knows about the one thing she struggles the most with. Briar can already imagine how everything's going to become easier now; she's going to have a dad that knows what it's like on the full moon, she'll be able to write to him if anything's wrong. Hell, maybe he can visit the town near Beauxbatons and they can meet up and talk about it... Briar can't wait.

She feels like a weight's been lifted off her shoulders. It amazes her, how on this day last year, she had gotten home to find out she wasn't going to Hogwarts anymore, and she spent the night crying her heart out because she was a werewolf now but now, it's all fitting into place. This time tomorrow, she'll have someone to talk to about this, someone that knows about it. She loves Fleur and she's so thankful that Fleur didn't run for the hills the second she realised that she shared a dorm with a monster, but, neither of them know shit about lycanthropy. A lot of it is stuff that Briar's realised over time — like, her abilities as a Seer go haywire on the full moon, and she struggles to recognise the different between the past, present, and future. Or, the fact that she doesn't remember anything that happens during the full moon, not even the visions; Briar had to find a hidden room in the school to hide out in during the full moon, because she'd apparently spend a lot of the night whimpering, as if she was trying to cry but couldn't... Briar, honestly, doesn't want to remember the visions. If she's spent a lot of the full moon crying, she can gather that the visions are some of the worst she can get.

Maybe her dad will know something about this. Maybe, at some point, he'll have heard of a Seer-turned-werewolf, and maybe he'll know something more than she does. She really hopes he does, because she feels terrible hanging this burden on Fleur's shoulders. And she knows that Fleur doesn't mind, because she likes to look after people, but still. Briar doesn't like Fleur losing sleep because her best friend turns into a monster.

The next few minutes fly past. Before Briar knows it, she's sitting on a train running to Paris, sharing a booth with Fleur. That's one difference that still strikes Briar as odd; the fact that the Beauxbatons train doesn't have compartments like the Hogwarts Express. Instead, you share a table with your friends, and that is that. Beauxbatons is a lot bigger than Hogwarts, so the means of transport to and from the school depend on where people live. Fleur's family has a flat in Paris, so she and her little sister Gabrielle are going to stay there for the time being. Livvy, who sits with them after a while, thinks that Briar's staying with Fleur for the weekend — something that Fleur quietly asked Gabrielle to go along with.

A while passes and the train reaches Paris. Briar can feel her stomach fill with butterflies as they pull into the station. Across the table, Fleur frowns at her, and Briar nods quickly, to say, I'm fine. She isn't, but, she knows that Livvy will notice if he spots Fleur looking worried.

So, she takes her belongings, and she follows Livvy out of the train, making sure that he's gone through the Floo Network back home before she acts as if she's going anywhere other than Fleur's. Her heart's hammering as she finds her dad, who pulls her into a tight hug, as he says, "I didn't think you'd still talk to me," and she thinks to herself, It's because we're the same.

Her dad takes a hold of her trunk, pulling it along. Briar can feel her palms getting sweaty. She thinks to herself, soon, this will be over. He'll know and it'll be fine... Just think about that, Briar, think about how good it's going to be, once he knows the truth. She looks across at him, at the happy look on his face, and she has a thought. How is he going to react?

"Now, I may need to explain something before we go into the kitchen," says Remus, as Briar takes his hand and he Apparates them back to the house he lives in. He told her, in one of his letters, that it's the house his parents lived in, before they died. Briar thinks it's pretty, like a proper old-school cottage in the country, right on the outskirts of a village. Apparently her Grandad Lyall enchanted the flowers outside so that they'd never wilt; "My mum, your grandma, was a muggle... She also loved the summer, because the flowers would be in bloom, so your grandad made sure our house was surrounded by them."

Briar looks at her dad weirdly. "What, do you have a dead body or something?" she says, but she feels awkward saying it. She feels weird trying to act normal, because she can feel the pit in her stomach, the dread already looming over the idea of having to say the words I'm a werewolf.

Remus shakes his head, opening the front door for her. "Now, I know that it's a lot to tell you, but I couldn't say it in a letter in case anyone found out..."

"OK..." she says, and she sets her bag down on the floor, looking across at her dad, waiting for him to explain. He takes a moment, as if he's trying to find the words to explain it.

"Do you know about your godfather?"

And then it clicks.

Briar asks, "Is Sirius here?"

"How did you—?"

"Harry told me," says Briar with a shrug. She pauses, pulling a face, as she retracts her comment. "OK, no, what happened was that Harry didn't know how to say it covertly, so he told the twins, who made this weird puzzle that solved itself for me... It's actually really smart of them... But yeah, I know. Sirius didn't tell You-Know-Who about James and Lily, did he? Wormtail did... But everyone thought it was Sirius, and no one will believe you if you say otherwise, so he's gonna stay in hiding..."

Remus looks at her in surprise. "He's been staying here ever since I resigned, I thought you should know before he returns and turns back into himself."

"Turn back?"

"He's an Animagus."

"Oh—" And then it hits her, like a slap to the face. Sirius Black is her godfather, for years she's thought it would be nice to meet him, but if he's here, how is she meant to tell her dad what she is? She frowns to herself, looking up and finding her dad frowning back, obviously realising that something's wrong.

Spit it out, then, Briar.

"Is no one else here, then?"

"No?" says Remus, frowning.

Briar nods. She tries to make herself say it; she opens her mouth, the words on her tongue, but they won't come out. They refuse to. She wants to tell him, she desperately wants to, but she can't, she can't. She's never said that she's a werewolf. When Fleur found out, it was because Briar was about to change into one, and Fleur didn't need an explanation. She wants to tell him, but she can't say those words — "I'm a werewolf."