"You've gotta stop moping, man." Noah said, bumping his shoulder against Matt's during morning practice.

Matt knew he was moping but he couldn't get you out of his head and it was driving him nuts. He was attracted to you the moment you met even though you hated him, but lately something was different. He wasn't sure if it's from seeing you carry child but the past couple months, you were all he could think about.

And it drove him insane.

"I'm not." He mumbled, attempting to deny his teammates statement. Noah didn't buy it though, because he grinned.

"You, me, and drinks?" He pointed at Matt. "Tonight at 9. We're getting you laid."

Matt forced a smile and nodded, knowing that Noah wouldn't leave him alone until he agreed.

"The ultrasound is in the morning though so I can't stay out late." Matt reminded him.

"We'll have you back in time for the appointment." Noah promised and Matt believed him which was why the hurt on your face the next morning broke him.

. . .

21 weeks

"Noah Hanifin is at your front door." Becca says, looking through the peephole before turning to look at you. Piled under a mountain of blankets with tissues surrounding you and an empty tub of ice cream sitting on the coffee table, you're the perfect picture of a broken heart.

You have been dodging calls and texts from Matthew for the past two weeks but in the last couple days, he's been radio silent and you're not sure if it hurts more, or less.

"Tell Noah Hanifin to fuck off." You mutter, trying to dig yourself deeper in the pile of blankets. You know why Noah is here and it pisses you off.

Becca opens the door a little and you can see Noah standing there, holding a bag and looking uncomfortable.

"Can I help you with something?" Becca asks shortly and Noah sighs.

"Good to see you too, Becs."

Becca's shoulders tighten and you know without seeing her face that she is glaring at him. "What do you want, Hanifin?"

He hands her the bag he was holding. "This is for Y/N. It's from Matt. He says he's sorry." Then he looks at you. "He's in bad shape."

You know he's in bad shape because even though you're hurt and angry, you've been watching his games. He's being careless, taking stupid penalties, picking fights more than normal and you know he hasn't been getting much sleep because there are bags under his eyes.

So you don't need Noah Fucking Hanifin to tell you that Matthew's in bad shape.

"That's not my problem."

"Oh come on, Y/N." Noah says a little too harshly for your liking. "He fucked up, he knows that. Cut him some slack, he's twenty two and he's about to be a fucking father. He's scared!"

"And I'm about to be a mother!" You snap. "He doesn't think I'm scared?"

Noah groans in frustration. "Look. It was my fault, okay? I talked Matt in to going out that night because I wanted him to stop moping over you."

You try to ignore his comment about Matt moping over you but your voice is unsteady when you answer him.

"Matt is a big boy, Noah. He can make his own decisions and he made the wrong one." You watch Noah's face fall. "Stop trying to stick up for him."

Noah shakes his head and sighs. "You should cut him some slack. It was my fault."

You watch as he leaves without saying another word. When he's gone and Becca shuts the door behind him, she turns to face you.

"He doesn't deserve forgiveness just because Hanifin 'talked' him in to going out and getting drunk. He made that choice."

You slowly nod, watching as she walks to your kitchen preparing to throw the bag Noah dropped off in the garbage. You're not sure what prompts you to stop her but you call out before she throws it out.

"Wait."

She looks at you with a raised brow. "What?"

"Let me see what he brought."

You know she's pissed, but she brings it over and hands it to you.

"I'm going to go get ready for bed, okay?" She says and you nod, watching as she walks down the hallway. When she's out of sight, you peak in the bag.

The first thing you see is a chocolate bar. It's your favourite, and you're surprised he remembered. There's some candy and a box of popcorn and your lips turn up in a tiny smile when you pull out a movie.

It's What to Expect When You're Expecting, the movie you were very against watching because of how unrealistic it would be compared to actual childbirth. There's a little sticky note that says, .

Then, at the very bottom of the bag, there's a bigger note and you want to ignore it like you've done with every text he's sent you but you read it out of curiosity.

You're sniffling by the time you've read the note but when you hear Becca approaching, you wipe away the tears and shove the paper back in the bag.

"What did he give you?" She questions, sitting on the couch next to you.

You don't want to tell her about the note so you just shrug. "A movie."

"That's all?"

"Yeah." You lie. "Will you watch it with me?"

"Sure." She says, taking the movie from you and putting it in to the DVD player before returning to the couch and curling up on the opposite side of the couch.

You try to focus on the movie but you can't get Matt's note and Noah's words out of your head. You're confused from what Noah said about Matthew 'moping' over you. The two of you were friends and you used that term loosely. If it wasn't for the baby, you know you never wouldn't have gotten so close to him. You never would have gotten to know the side of him that the rest of the world has never seen. You wouldn't have learned how terrible he is at cooking but how gentle he can be.

But you also wouldn't be in this situation right now. By yourself and pregnant with a broken heart.

So you're not sure what hurts more. The thought of never having known him the way you do or having your heart broken.

. . .

22 weeks

It's this text that has you standing outside a bar that Matt and the guys are. For Johnny to text you, you know that it must be bad and you're proven right when the doors open and Noah and Johnny carry an extremely wasted Matthew Tkachuk out. You're not sure he's even awake until he lifts his head when Noah shakes him.

"Y/N's here, bud."

His eyes are closed but they open when he hears your name and his face lights up and he shrugs the boys off, stumbling towards you. He's unsteady so you reach out to steady him, grateful when he doesn't put much weight on you.

"You're here." He breathes and you nod slowly.

"And you're drunk."

He shakes his head quickly. "No, I'm sober as a judge!"

You hear Noah chuckle but you don't react to him, pulling Matt's arm around your shoulder.

"C'mon. Lets go home."

"Are you sure you'll be okay?" Noah calls out and you're still pissed at him so you don't bother looking back.

"Yeah."

You get Matt in your car without a problem and when you start the drive back to your apartment, you try to ignore how he's staring at you but it feels like he's burning holes in the side of your head.

"What?" You mutter eventually and you see him shrug out of the corner of your eye.

"'m surprised you came to pick me up. I know you hate me." He mumbles and you sigh.

"I don't hate you." You tell him, "I was angry with you. And I had every right to be."

"I'm sorry." He whispers quietly and when you glance at him, he's no longer looking at you. He is staring at his hands and you notice the cuts from the fight he got in to at today's game. It was a heavy loss and had a lot to do with how many penalties Matt took. They were dumb penalties, all of which he never would have taken if his head was in the game. You know it's not entirely your fault but you still can't help but feel a little guilty because you know he's playing like this because you haven't been talking to him.

"I know." You say, pulling in to the parking lot of your apartment building. You could have very well dropped Matt off at his house but you know he's too drunk and leaving him by himself could be dangerous.

He's sobered up a little by the time you're in your apartment. You make him drink a couple glasses of water before guiding him to your bathroom so he can brush his teeth with his toothbrush he keeps at your apartment and when you give him clothes that he keeps here too, you realize how much time he really spent here.

"I can sleep on the couch." He says and everything in you is screaming to agree but he just looks so tired and you know he won't get a wink of sleep on that couch so you shake your head.

"It's fine." you say, ignoring the small look of hope on his face, instead sending him out of the bathroom so you can get ready. You take your time, hoping that he will be asleep when you go to your bedroom but you find him laying on his back and staring at the ceiling. He doesn't look at your face when you settle on the bed next to him but you do notice his eyes flicker to your stomach before you pull the blanket over you.

"It's bigger." He says.

"What?"

"Your stomach." He clarifies. "It's getting bigger."

"Well that's what happens when you're growing a human being inside you." You remind him and his lips turn up in a small smile.

"Y/N-" He starts to say but you cut him off.

"We'll talk in the morning."

He looks disappointed but he's still drunk enough that you're not comfortable having the conversation the two of you need to have. There are things that need to be worked out and said and you don't want him to only remember half of it.

So you watch him nod and drift off before letting your own eyes close and you fall asleep.

. . .

You wake the next morning before Matt. He snoring quietly and his back is to you which makes getting out of bed easier. He'll be hungover for sure, so you decide to make breakfast while you wait for him to wake up. You're also trying to think of what exactly you're going to say to him.

You don't know if you have it in you to still be so angry at him. He messed up and it's not something you'll ever forget but Noah made a good point when he said that Matt is only 23. You're both still so young and about to be parents and despite wanting him to be perfect and never mess up, you can't expect him to be.

"Hey."

You turn to see Matt walking in to the kitchen, rubbing sleep out of his eyes.

"Hey." You reply, turning back to the stove. You can hear him sit down on a bar stool and he's quiet for a moment before speaking up.

"Thank you." He says softly and it surprises you because you were expecting him to say sorry again.

"You didn't have to come pick me up last night but you did."

You shrug, turning around to look at him. "I know you would've done the same."

"I would." He says. "And I know you're tired of me saying it but I am really sorry I missed the appointment. I promised I would be there and I let you down."

You nod, walking over and sitting next to him. "You did, but I'm starting to think that I was too hard on you. You made a mistake, we all do."

"I swear I'll never miss one again." He promises.

"Good, because I'll shun you if you do." You chirp and he grins.

After breakfast, the two of you are watching hockey replays and Matt is quietly talking to the baby. You can't hear exactly what he's saying but suddenly he looks up and grins.

"Can we tell everyone now? I thought we could make up an Instagram post or something."

"I may already have one prepared." You admit sheepishly and his smile lights up the room.