"randy please!" you sobbed shaking his body.

"come on! please don't leave!" you pounded on randy's chest, begging to god that he brings randy back to you.

you broke down and laid your head on his chest, basking in your last moments with him.

randy was dead. your boyfriend was gone.

"y/n! come on we gotta go!" you tried slapping billy's hands away as he picked you up running away from stu.

"no, no, no! i don't wanna go." you wailed as billy pushed you into the house locking the door behind him.

"y/n please." billy sat you down in the stairs and held your face in his hands.

"y/n please. y-you have to stay alive. randy would've wanted that for you. please don't leave me alone." billy pleaded.

you finally made eye contact with billy and slowly nodded your head.

as much as you were hurt losing randy minutes ago, billy needed you too.

you slowly got up from the stairs and ran to the kitchen to get any sorta weapon to kill stu with, but before you could pass the door you bumped into stu getting randy's blood on your hands.

you staggered backwards falling on the ground looking at your shaking hands that were now covered in your boyfriends blood.

"poor randy, he didn't even see it coming." stu laughed coming towards you.

but you sat there on the floor. you wanted death. you wanted to be with randy.

as cliché as it sounded, randy was your soulmate.

and now that he was gone, what else was there?

most of your friends were dead and billy was probably gonna die soon.

as stu got closer, the more you accepted death.

but as soon as stu got closer, billy tackled stu to the ground punching him over and over again.

and just as stu was able to deflect the punches and get on top of billy, gale popped up out of no where firing a shot into stu's chest.

you flinched as the gun was fired, but still kept looking at your hands.

you felt weak in that moment, but you also felt numb and tired.

"y/n...the ambulance is here." you finally gathered your thoughts and looked at billy.

how long were you gone for?

you flinched as billy tried to pick you up, but none the less accepted his touch and held onto him for dear life.

"he's gone billy." you cried.

you looked to your left looking for randy's body.

the cops still haven't bagged him.

you fought out of billy's grip running to randy's corpse.

he was cold and lifeless, nothing like the randy you love.

your hands were shaking as you reached to touch randy's face.

the blood was everywhere. it was all over you.

"y/n, please." billy croaked out trying to tug you way from randy.

you reluctantly let go of randy as the cops were about to force you off, going over to the paramedics to get checked out.

————-

you felt utterly alone and numb.

stu had taken everyone of your friends away from you.

he stole everything from you.

your boyfriend, syd, tatum, your emotions, and your life away.

billy was always here, but he also needed time alone and time to grieve.

you dialed his number and waited for the voicemail to start.

"hi! sorry i couldn't get to the phone right no- y/n! sorry randy can't get to the phone. he's being occupied." you silently cried as you heard randy voice and his laugh as you took his phone giggling.

"sweetie." you turned around looking at randy's mom slightly smiling.

"i'm sorry. you need time to grieve as well and i'm just here being a mess." you sniffled, getting up.

"no y/n, i'm glad your here. it's comforting." randy mom smiled coming closer to lay in his bed with you.

you cried harder as she hugged you close to her.

"i just miss him so much! it should've been me that night. it hurts so much. i can't sleep or even think without him being there." you sobbed as she rubbed your back soothingly.

"don't say that y/n. i'm glad he had you in his last moments. he loved you very much y/n."

you snuggled your head into randy's hoodie that was in the middle of you and his mom, finally closing your eyes.

————

"babe have you seen my shoes!" you yelled out for billy.

"no. did you check the kitchen!" you rolled your eyes and ran down the stairs making a b line for the kitchen.

you sighed as you saw your shoes and hurried to put them on.

"are you ready baby?" billy asked rounding the corner.

you smiled nodding your head and grabbing the flowers on the counter.

billy grabbed your hand and walked you to the car.

"you're gonna be fine y/n." billy said holding your face in his hands.

you nodded sliding into the passenger seat, watching as the trees passed by you.

on this day you always felt numb and depressed.

no matter how much intensive therapy and pills you were put on to "get better" you never felt 100% complete after that night.

having billy made you feel somewhat whole again, but today you felt disgusted and angry at everyone.

the car stopped soon and you dreaded this.

"come on y/n." billy said exiting the car.

billy knew not to touch you unless you initiated it first on these days.

you walked slowly, dreading the moment even more.

"y/n i'm glad to see you again." you smiled at randy's mom going in for a hug.

"i miss you." you mumbled.

"i do too y/n, please come over any time. i miss having someone to talk to." you didn't mean to bawl your eyes out, but her saying that just really messed with you.

she missed randy and here you were dating one of his friends!

"i'll stop by for a visit after this, like always."

you both turned to randy's grave taking a seat and taking to his gravestone like nothing had happened and he wasn't dead.

billy made sure to stay at least 6 feet away from you, knowing how you felt, which always made you feel bad since randy was his friend too. but he made sure to tell you it was okay.

it's not that you didn't love billy, he just knew how you felt on this day.

before you and billy started dating, he would come to visit randy's grave with you.

he knew that you wanted this day to feel like randy wasn't gone and you both were still together and happy.

he couldn't be mad at you for that, he understood why you didn't wanna be touched or comforted by him. he was okay that randy was your first love and will always had a place in your life. he loves you and would do anything for you.

but today was about randy.

how you still loved him even when dating billy.

"come on y/n i have your favorite tea" randy's mom said her voice trembling a little.

you got into the car with randy's mom like the usual and mumbled a little goodbye to billy.

the car ride was silent, but you didn't mind.

once you arrived at randy's house, you bolted for randy's room like always.

this was normal routine for you both. randy's mom knew not to disturb you for at least 15 minutes while you basked in randy's old room.

you smiled running your hand on his bed to the nightstand that held a picture of you both.

you grabbed his favorite hoodie and the picture snuggling into his bed.

you pictured the moments randy and you laughed, argued, and shared moments in this room.

"hey sweetie, teas ready."

you made your way downstairs and made small talk for awhile until billy picked you up.

you carried one of randy's shirt in your hand and mumbled a hello to your boyfriend.

"how was it babe?" billy asked.

"good. cried for an hour, but you know that's the usual." billy sighed looking at you with sympathy.

"i know it hurts and i'm not gonna lie and say it goes away, but i know he'd be happy for you y/n. you've made a ton of progress and i'm proud of you for being strong." billy stated grabbing your hand.

"thanks billy. i get that i'll always love him and i thank you for being so patient and kind to me. i love you billy." you said crying.

although you were crying, you were happy with what billy had said.

you were happy with billy and without him you'd probably be dead.

randy was your first love, but billy was gonna be your last and you were finally okay with that.