I'm so confused. Happy... but confused. After what Hope told me the other day, I'd sort of been ready for Seth to announce his undying love for me the first chance he got. Well, last night was definitely the perfect opportunity. Yet, nothing happened. He kissed me in a way that signified love and passion, but those three words never made themselves known. It's baffling really, and frustrating beyond belief.

My mother's passing is already painful enough, but then Seth has to go and add more pain to that by denying me the one thing I long to hear. I believe that what Hope said is true, but I can't help but wonder how exactly Seth had worded his feelings for me. Had he said it in a way where his true intentions could have been misinterpreted to sound like a confession of love? Or had he directly said 'I love Mercy' to my sister?

I'm actually so frustrated by this fact that something inside of me snaps. It's not like a breaking kind of snap, though. It's more like something inside of me is snapping back into place. My spunk meter was popped out of its socket, and it's suddenly being reset to where it should be.

When I feel heat bubbling up to the surface of my mind, I smile with relief because I can sense the hidden Mercy revealing herself. I'm being awakened for the first time in months. I suddenly want to march my way right up to Seth and demand answers. I want to approach him with the stealth of a lion and then roar at him until I've got his full attention. I want to clamp his jaw between my fingers and force him to listen as I ask every single question that's torpedoed its way around inside my head.

I need answers. And I need them now.

But, timing is once again terribly off because it's only two in the afternoon and Seth is at work. Who knows when he'll be home. Typical me. My emotions tend to find the worst times to announce themselves. Now I've got to wait until evening to release all my pent-up irritation and confusion.

I audibly growl into my living room. The sound is foreign against the quiet of my home, but it's somehow welcome. It's almost like a release of annoyance, and since I don't have Seth around to attack, I'll just let out my disgruntlement in the solitude of my own home.

I growl again, but when a burst of laughter accompanies it, I find the heat in my chest dissipating as humor takes over. This must be a sign that I'm losing it. Or maybe this is another sign of grief... Hysteria, the sixth stage of grief. Is my odd behavior a sign of hysteria? I have no idea, but I'm going to claim it as one of my stages just so I don't feel like a lunatic.

My life has been so undeniably crappy these past few months that I'm somehow falling apart in the most entertaining way. I feel free and open for the first time in ages. Sure, it hurts, but it's almost a wanted hurt. It's the kind of hurt that I welcome because it lets me know I'm still feeling... I'm still human.

My laughter slowly fades to hiccups and tears, but I'm still smiling at the absurdity that I'm creating. The fact that I'm just simply standing in the living room staring at the closed blinds of the window just makes it that much crazier. I've finally lost my sanity and it feels amazing.

Every laugh that escapes out my throat brings another bout of sobbing. It seems ridiculous that I can be both heartbroken and amused at the same time. Where did these emotions come from?

I finally pull myself together, a sigh leaving my lips with a hum as I turn and glance around the silent home. Only, it's not the way I had left it. I'd assumed that the house was empty and that I was free to mourn/celebrate my new emotions in solitude.

Fun fact here is... I'm not alone.

"Well," Shon says, pushing herself away from the wall near the front door and taking careful steps towards me. "That was definitely entertaining." She eyes me closely, not pausing in her stride. "Odd. But very entertaining."

And then, as if the floodgates have been opened, she's doubling over as hyena-style laughter is hissing from her trembling body. I stand watching as she turns into the crazy person in the room, my brows lift in concern when she suddenly drops to the floor, heavy cackling emerging from her throat.

I can definitely see the appeal in watching such a display of peculiarity. This is something I'd give up steak fries to see. I mean, Shon is a tall girl. So, to see her on the floor in a near fetal position is totally worth witnessing. I can't even laugh because I fear I'll miss a moment and I wouldn't miss seeing her this ugly for an All-You-Can-Eat buffet. So I just stare, wide-eyed and completely zeroed in on the way her face is crinkled and squished together as she fights to control her own laughter.

"Wow," I say, as she unfolds herself and leans back on her palms, a drunken smile plastered to her lips. "I see what you mean. That was highly entertaining."

She chuckles as I drop to the floor beside her. We've got our backs pressed to the sofa as we sit silently side-by-side.

"I take it you needed that as much as I did," I say, nudging her shoulder with my own.

I haven't had much of a chance to catch up with Shon, but seeing her laugh her guts out tells me that something is up. She's typically so composed. She's always been weird, but not in a giggle-til-you-drop kinda way. For once, I got to see her lose control, and I know there's more to it than just her finding my moment of stupidity to be humorous.

"Yeah," she says, wiping a residual tear from beneath her left eye. "Things aren't great."

I turn slightly, questioning her with a silent raise of my eyebrows. She can't just say something like that and then not elaborate.

"Just work stuff." She shrugs.

"Well," I start to say. "How about next time we need to release some tension from our lives, we plan on scheduling our meltdowns together. Instead of looking like buffoons, we could practice our martial arts skills on each other, or learn gymnastics, or yoga, or go jogging on the beach in nothing but our swimsuits."

"Uh..."

"Yeah," I nod. "You're right. Those would all make us look like buffoons."

"How about we just plan to talk next time?" Shon suggests and I feel my eyes widen as a smile turns up my lips.

"Ah, yes," I nod. "That would be the better option."

The room goes quiet for a moment as Shon and I both get lost in thought. At least, I think she's lost in thought. She could just be staring off into space like a zombie, but she's already been weird enough today. We don't need to add 'undead' to her mental issues.

"So," she suddenly says, her large eyes blinking once as she pulls her mind out of whatever world it was swimming in and back into the present. "What you got going on today?"

I gaze at her for a moment, taking notice of just how strange she's acting today. I thought I was the messed-up one. It's good to know I'm not alone. What better time for us to go crazy than at the same time. We could conquer the world and spread the crazy together!

"Oh, you know," I say, stretching my arms above my head before resting my elbows on the seat of the couch behind me. "Just waiting for Seth to get home so I can scare him into a corner and demand answers from him."

"Really?" I swear I see her ears actually perk up when I say this. Her whole body is suddenly alert as she swivels to face me directly, eyes wide and intrigued.

"Yep," I nod confidently. "I've had enough of all this. Currently, our relationship is residing somewhere down with the bottom-dwellers, and I'm sick of it. Seth is going to tell me exactly what is going on, or I'm done."

"Done?" Shon questions, eyebrows lifted in surprise. "Like, done done?"

"Yes!" I nearly shout my response as passion flows out my lips. But then I reign my emotions in again and shrug. "No... not really. I don't know. I love the guy, but he's a flipping idiot who thinks it's smart to tell my sister that he loves me, and yet, he refuses to mutter anything of the sort to me. Who does that?"

"I feel ya, girl," Shon mutters, her lips quirked to the side as her face drops in sympathetic understanding. "What are you going to do about it?"

It's precisely at that moment that the front door opens. My eyes travel towards our intruder and a nervous quake ricochets through my chest when I spot Seth stepping through the threshold.

"Hey, ladies," he greets and I'm momentarily caught off guard. At least he actually acknowledged me this time. The last time Shon was over, Seth offered her more attention in a single minute than he'd given me in two days.

"Hiya," Shon answers, and all I can manage is an awkward smile in his direction.

The room grows still as Seth turns to kick off his shoes. Shon and I instantly start shooting each other meaningful glances and stupid hand gestures. I know she's trying to get me to do something, but her finger jabbing back and forth between Seth and me tells me absolutely nothing. If she's actually hoping I'll corner Seth right here and right now just so she can be present to witness it, then she's more delusional than I thought.

"Welp," she finally says with a sigh, shooting me an evil glare, "I should be getting back home now."

"Oh." The simple word exits Seth's lips with surprise, but I'm glad to observe a lack of disappointment. He doesn't actually seem to care that she's leaving. The bliss pumping through my chest could almost launch me to the moon. That's how powerful it is. But, I remain calm, just nodding in Shon's direction.

"See ya," I say, and she just puckers her lips at me.

"Fine," she huffs, but I can see the playful smile on her lips. She's clearly not stupid enough to think I'd actually invite her to watch as Seth and I hash out all our problems. "I know you two have a lot of catching up to do," she says with a wink in my direction that doesn't go unnoticed by Seth, "So, I'll just be on my way."

"Great," I growl. "Now go."

Shon laughs at my irritation because it was just the reaction she was hoping for. She's always found pleasure in ticking me off, and I always gladly reward her with a bad temper. We're good for each other that way.

"Love you," I grumble as I shove her out the front door.

"Love you too." I hear her chuckling as she makes her way down the path to her car, but she doesn't look back.

Once the door is closed, I take a moment to pull a calming breath into my lungs and then spin around. Seth is already watching me, confusion and a playful smirk alighting his face. I can see he's curious about what's going on, but he won't have to be curious for long. Because I have no intention of dragging this out for another second longer.

"Listen up, Buster," I say, a finger pointing in Seth's direction. Both of his brows raise, shocked, as he takes a step back. "We have some talking to do, and we're not eating until we get us figured out."

I've said smarter things in my life. If I could rewind those words then I would, but I can't. Because I'm already hungry, and we have hours of talking to do.

"On second thought," I say, trying to keep a tight grip on my authoritative tone. "Let's order take-out, cuz it's going to be a long night."

I'm expecting Seth to try and weasel his way out of this situation. I'm expecting him to sigh and grudgingly give in. I'm expecting him to do everything in his power to avoid confrontation.

What I'm not expecting him to do is shrug with a relief-filled smile as he makes his way towards me.

"I was hoping you'd say that." And with those words from his mouth, he's grabbing my hand in his own, and snatching up a pair of flip-flops as he pulls me out the front door.

Where we're headed, I have no idea, but I love how this moment just spiraled right out of my control. Don't get me wrong, I love having control, but I happen to love surprises more. I also love having zero plans. Right now, Seth is delivering on both and I'm eager to find out his remedy for fixing us.