That night you couldn't sleep at all. Your mind was a mess, you didn't know what to think. Haruhi wasn't the boy anymore you had a massive crush on, he was the girl you were unsure about. You didn't know who he was anymore. Was he, or she, a transsexual? You weren't sure anymore. Does anyone else know of this secret?

Haruhi is a female, at least biologically. Does she identify with a girl though? You weren't sure. She always dressed like a boy at school, and was addressed as a boy. She was a cross dresser.

You tossed over in your bed, constantly feeling uncomfortable. What does this mean for you though? Does this make you gay, or bisexual? But then again, you only found out now what she really is. You liked the boy Haruhi, and now unsure of the girl. You were finding it hard to wrap your head around the fact that Haruhi is a she now, not he. Do you still even like her? The feelings you have are not ones that can simply disappear. They are stronger than that. But right now, they were just confused.

And Haruhi, does she like you? She is a host after all, a host to females. Is she gay? She must be to act that way towards you, and so many others. What would it mean for this secret to get out? You weren’t sure if you should tell her, or just keep this to yourself. But you felt like you'd be lying if you didn't tell her you knew.

Who else knows? She spends most of her time with the members of the host club. Surely they know, they see each other daily. She works for them. They would have to know. They couldn’t possibly be the ones making her act this way though. Is it just some sort of sick joke they're playing on people, just waiting to see you figures it out first? Is it a game? It couldn't be, everyone there is so nice, Haruhi wouldn't go along with it, would she?

When you thought about it, this wasn't as unexpected as it may seem. There has always been a feminine quality about her, you just wouldn't put your finger on what it was. It now all seems so obvious.

You eventually fell asleep deep in your worries on what you were going to do next time you saw her.