《before I die......》دیگه توان ندارم :)
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(جیمین)
چشمام باز کردم کجا بودم چرا همه جا سیاه بود
یا صدای گریه ی بچه از اونجایی که بودم بلند
شدم رفتم سمت صدا با دیدن صحنه ی رو به
روم وحشت زده به بچه ی غرق خون نگاه
کردم با امدن ی مرد که تو دستش چاقوی
سلاخی بود دستم روی دهنم گذاشتم تا صدام
بیرون نیاد نفهمه اینجام با شنیدن صداش
که خطاب به من میگفت
_جیمین نمیای مرگ بچت با چشمای خودت
ببینی
چی چی میگفت اون بچه بچه ی من نبود بود؟
با ترس سریع از پشت ستون امدم بیرون
با دیدن اینکه بچه رو از سرش گرفته گریم شدت
گرفت
_میبینی آره الان قرار بمیره جیمین نظرت
چیه تیکه تیکش کنم ها یا سرش ببرم
بنظرم زجر دادنش قشنگ تره اون بچه ی
توعه معلوم زجر دادنش لذت بخشه
بلند با گریه داد کشیدم
+بچه ی من نیستتتت اون بچه ی
من نیست بچه ی من هنوز به دنیا نیومده
اون بچه ی من نیست
_جیمین این بچه همون بچه ایه که تو
شکمته الان اینجاست میبینی داره
بین انگشتای من جون میده
دستم روی گوشام گذاشتم جیغ بلندی
کشیدم و با درد داد میکشیدم
+این بچه ی من نیستتتت مال من نیست
بچه من نیست حروم زادهههه نیست
ی لحظه حس کردم کل وجودم درد گرفت
متوجه شدم صدای گریه ی بچه قطع شده
با ترس سرم بالا آوردم با دیدن
بدن بچه کن سرش از تنش جدا شده دستم
روی دهنم گذاشتم بلند بلند جیغ میزدم
با ترس بلند شدم با گریه میرفتم سمت
بدن بی جون کوچولو ی بچه ای که
ظاهراً مال من بود بدن کوچولوش
تو بغلم گرفتم بلند بلند گریه میکردم
اینجا کدوم جهنم دره ای بود چرا این
اتفاق افتاد.
(کوک)
با صدای جیغ داد از اتاق سریع چراغ
آشپزخونه رو خاموش کردم دویدم سمت
اتاق با دیدن خونی که از بدن جیمین
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میرفت ی لحظه حس کردم الان
میمیرم دویدم سمتش تو خواب داشت
چی میدید چرا داشت ازش خون میرفت
تکونش دادم دریغ از یکم تغییر تو وضعیتش
#کوکککک چی شدههه
+او..اوما زنگ ... زنگ بزن به اورژانس
حال جیمین خوب نیست التماست میکنم
زنگ...بزننننن
دوید سمت تلفن همین جوری دیگه توان
نگه داشتن خودم نداشتم بلایی نبود
که این مدت سرمون نیومده باشه این
داشت دیوونم میکرد بلند زدم زیر
گریه توانش دیگه نبود بلندش کردم
تو بغلم گرفتمش هنوز داشت زجه
میزد گریه میکرد داد کشیدم زدم
تو صورتش یکم چشماش باز کرد
با بی حالی بهم نگاه میکرد محکم
تو بغلم گرفتمش که در اتاق باز
شد پرستارا امدن گذاشتنش روی
برانکارد پشت سرش با بدن بی حسی
میدویدم که حس ضعف کردم و
سرم گیج رفت افتادم روی زمین چشمام
یکم باز کردم صدای گریه ی اوما صدای
آژیر آمبولانس کم کم داشت محو میشد
چشمام سیاهی رفت .
(کوک)
چشمام باز کردم متوجه شدم که تو بیمارستانم
ی لحظه صحنه های چند دقیقه پیش جلوی
چشمام رد شد بغض کردم سرم با هر زوری
بود در آوردم و سریع رفتم سمت بخش
پذیرش از مسئول اونجا شماره اتاق
جیمین پرسیدم سریع رفتم سمت آسانسور
و طبقه ی سوم زدم سریع رفتم سمت
اتاقش در باز کردم چشماش بسته بود
و نامجون هیونگ کنارش نشسته بود
بهش خیره بود
_امدی؟؟
+حالش... حالشون خوبه؟؟
_حالشون ( خنده ی تلخی کرد)بنظرت دیگه
بچه ای هست؟؟
نه لطفا باز نه نه
_دکترش گفته بچه انقدر ضعیفه که ممکنه
بای ضربه سقط بشه اگه سقط دوباره داشته
باشه رحمش دیگه توانایی حمل بچه رو نداره
و ممکنه حتی از بدنش درش بیارن و اینکه
جیمین دارای ی جور فوبیا شده که باید بره
پیش روانشناس کوک کی جیمین اینجوری
شد کی شد که اون فرشته ی همیشه
خندون انقدر افسرده شد کی شد که زیر
چشمای عسلیش گود افتاد کوکا چرا مواظب
گلت نبودی ؟؟؟
هیچی نداشتم بگم بغض داشت گلوم
چنگ میزد دیگه توان نداشتم ادامه بدم
دیگه توان نداشتم ادامه بدم با بدن
بی جون و بی حسم بدون حتی ی کلمه
حرف زدن با هیونگ رفتم سمت
اسانسور و رفتم بخش ازشون خواستم ی
تاکسی برام بگیرن حس مرگ داشت اینجا
حس مرگ خب مگ قرار نبود بمیرم ها
مگ قرار نبود چند دقیقه دیگه از
بالای ی سخره این زندگی رو تمام کنم ؟؟:)
______________________________________
میدونم کمه میدونم میدونم کلی براتون نوشته بودم ولی همش پاک شد ی چکیده ازش موند
ی الهام بخش د اینو بنویسم قول میدم زودتر
بزارم الان از لحاظ روحی بهتر شدم قول میدم مثل قبل میگ میگ وار پارت بزارم لاو یو سو ماچ 💓🐣
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