FELICITY

Knock knock knock

I banged the door a few times but the door still wasn't opening. I grumbled, my face had changed from the emotion when I woke.

Did he forget our day??

No. he would not.

I said to myself and banged louder this time.

I stopped when I heard footsteps coming from the other side and my whole body once again activated and matched my excitement that of my morning.

When the door finally opened.

The energy flowing through my body was a lot. I was even bouncing lightly,What can I say? I'm too much of a morning person and more exhilarated when I'm thinking about this day the whole night.

So when the door opened I could contain my elated energy so it passed through my mouth before I could process anything.

"Oh my gosh i was calling you for ten minutes i thought you ditched our..." I stopped whatever i'm going to say because my mind stopped working.

There was Zion shirtless and having a hard time opening his eyes he looked like he just woke from his sleep.

Did I mention shirtless?

My mouth parted at the sight and heat rose to my cheeks. Suddenly my mood completely changed, which I had a few minutes ago. I was feeling nervous and edgy.

"Felicity is that you '' Zion spoke in his morning hoarse voice. Eyes half open.

His voice was so damn deep I could not help but think it was attractive.

"Felicity" he called my name and I nervously looked at him, his eyes squinted at me.

"Yeah" i mumbled

"What are you doing here?" he said with a yawn while he rubbed his eyes.

That made me confused and helped me lose some of my nervousness.

"Didn't you say we are going out?" I said looking him in the eyes

"Did you forget" my voice became low while i asked him softly.

For that he let out a yawn " yeah...." he dragged out still obviously very much slumbering.

" Gosh, where is my phone?" he all but groaned.

He then retreated himself back without saying anything.

I don't know what to do so I let myself in.

When I stepped I realised that the lights were off. It was kind of hard to see so I reached my hands towards the wall when my hands touched the switch. It took two attempts to find the right switch.

When I was finally able to see my eyes wandered towards Zion who was now in his bedroom which was also dark but the light from the hall illuminated his bedroom. Showcasing his back muscles. My eyes could not help but take in the appreciation of how his muscles flexed for every step he took.

I flushed my face feeling hot but my eyes refused to move so I leaned my head on the doorway and watched him with a small smile.

"Sweet mercy" zion voice broke my trance.

He then turned to me. I quickly straightened myself and he brought his phone to the view showcasing his lockscreen.

I gave him a confused look. What does he want me to look at? Compliment his wallpaper, pose for a photo what the heck he wants. When we should be on the road.

He groaned and again said to look at the damn screen again and I was slowly starting to get frustrated.

"What am I supposed to look at?" I said giving out a slight annoyance.

"It's five o'clock" he said and I detected the english in it.

"Okay i know that what i'm supposed to with it" i said

Zion all but groaned, throwing his head back he then fell onto his bed. My eyebrows furrowed looking at him.

"Don't you want to go today?" I asked, swallowing my disappointment.

"No felicity no '' he said rolling back while he looked at the ceiling.

"When i said we will meet early not damn five in the morning" he said running his hand over his face.

"Oh" was all I could say.

.

.

.

.

.

.

" oh come on zion" i pleaded for the umpth time while he just ignored me continuing his walk towards the coffee shop.

I groaned at the situation that had been going on for the past one hour. It all started after Zion finally got ready to go downstairs only to know that there wasn't coffee available.

Let's just say it was the start of this situation.

After a ton of apologies later the kind receptionist recommended this shop, they even said they will go and buy for us but i declined it. I thought going out would refresh our mind, so I took the wheel since Zion was well......not pleasant if you could call that. So I also took the radio and played some music.

And oh boy how i wished i did not put it on.

Zion, who was frustrated for a number of reasons which I would kindly not mention, wanted to take it out of his chest and the victim was a high pitched song.

The pitch was falsetto type pitch he shouted with his whole heart of straight out rock concert music.

And poor guy he would even get that.

So obviously he was mad and still mad.

I then looked at his back going towards the shop. I can literally feel his annoyance dancing. I shook my head and ran after him.

"Zion, wait for me" I said but he would not look at me. So I hooked my hand with his arm and started tugging it.

"Oh come on zion you can't be seriously upset that you can't get the high pitch"

I was met with a glare. But he didnt yank my hand. I don't know why that made my heart flutter because I know he is too occupied to even think straight.

"You missy let me retract a bit on how you laughed for five minutes. Straight"

Oops I completely forgot that part.

"Okay i get it im sorry..." I tried so hard to swallow my laughter.

But he ignored me and gave his order before turning back to me and saying to pay it. I just scoffed at it.

"Fight?"

I turned my attention from Zion, who was seated near the window (still very pissed) to the front to see a lady who looked like she was in her late 50's.

I flushed slightly embarrassed "no just a silly banter" i said with a sheepish smile. I took a quick glance around to see if anyone catched our conversation. I was so focused on Zion that I forgot about the people around me. My muscles relaxed when there were no people behind me.

"Ahh i understand" i turned my attention back to the woman to see her having a kind smile, her wrinkles coating her face.

I gave her a weak smile and leaned my elbows on the countertop too tired to start a conversation. No thanks to zion.

After a few minutes two cups of coffee were placed in front of me, steam flowing very clearly and the aroma almost made me refreshed.

"Thank you..." I looked down at her name tag to read "maria" i said with a smile.

"No problem dear" Maria, her presence resembeming of georgia.

When i took my card to pay she stopped

"It's in the house dear"

"No no i can't take it" i said shaking my head but felt warm at her kindness.

"It's okay dear it is not a big deal" Maria said making it impossible to refuse.

"Thank you so much, it's very kind," I said , meaning it.

Before I could turn she called me and whispered to me.

"Give a kiss to your husband works like magic"

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

I sat down on the luscious green grass of Hyde park and taking in its beauty the land spread across me was a pleasant sight to my eyes. Beside me there was a sandwich which was long forgotten. I was not particularly hungry.

"Hey" I looked up to see Zion holding a bottle out for me.

"Thanks" I said and turned to the front.

We just sat there in comfortable silence taking in the beauty of the park before it was broken by zion.

"You know I'm really considering that the coffee has done something to you" zion said.

It's not the coffee.

Even though Zion said lightly I can tell he is little confused. Honestly i can't blame him i have been like this since we left the coffee shop. Zion didn't ask me anything, he just rode in silence only telling me that we are going for a park. Even though I was glad for the silence I still could not stop thinking about those, it was just simple words but it hit me like a core and it opened many doors in my mind and I could not close only opening many.

"It's not about the coffee," I said, still looking at the front. From the corner of my eyes I saw Zion, turning towards me with what may I assume confused look.

I let out a breath before turning towards him blue eyes glistened in the sun welcomed me.

"Maria the woman who served coffee for us told - well thought you were my husband"

I carefully watched his eyes widened like saucers and a look of shock took over his beautiful face. He was quiet for a few seconds. I can see the wheels turning around him.

How I wish I could read his thoughts. Especially about this.

"That's ridiculous ....no way" he said shaking his head.

I dug my fingers into the grass and turned away from him. I know it is ridiculous, absurd and out of the world and it would not happen but hearing him say that hurted me deeply. Why am I so much of a bad person to be with, to start a family with or to be just loved.

I closed my eyes for a second and swallowed a lump that formed in my throat.

"Hey are you seriously worried about" he said with an emotion I could not quite understand.

Confused. Alarmed. Shock. Hurt .

I don't know. I had too much in my mind to think. Too hurt.

"No. it's not about that, it just made me think about .....family, my family" my tone was not the same i could say that. It was different.

Even after all these I still could not shake away the feeling of wanting to have a family, my own family. Even though i don't look like that i'm thinking about it but it always has been in my mind.

I can feel zion tense beside me. He slowly moved closer. After a few seconds I felt his hand over me. My eyes automatically close at the feeling.

I took a deep breath and turned to the front, bringing my knees to my chest and resting my chin on it.

"When she said husband it made me realise that one day im gonna have a family. I always thought having a family it's the most wonderful thing I grew up seeing......" i stopped because i can't talk about parents i don't think i ever will talking about my feeling is one but my parents is on whole another world.

Even though they only gave me the beautiful meaning of family. I could not.

"Georgia, my secretary Mark's wife, they have the most amazing love. It's just wholesome to see them interact. They have a daughter Alice. She just adds more. And also paul who is taking care of a foster child josh but i always thought of him as a real brother....it just the family love's that touches my heart not when you highest but also on you lowest how would they sacrifice everything even if you had pushed them away and how they always there for you. Even when everyone leaves they are there waiting praying for you.'' I said stiffing at the end a little bit.

"But.....but even with those beautiful things it also terrifies me. One time I'm happy thinking about it and the next second I have this unknown sadness wash over ''I said loomly looking over the pond in the distance.

I was just silent, not really knowing what to say or think at this point. Then I felt him slowly rubbing my hand.

"Do you know why that is....

I...

"You can tell me felicity...i'm here for you" he said, giving my hand a squeeze. In his soft voice that pulled stings in my heart and comforted my whole body.

"I dated a boy in my first year of college. He was my first kiss. It was really amazing and all but we ended our relationship in the second year. It was not a nasty break up, it was the kind of break up that had no hard feelings and was mutual. So the second year happened and it was going great until....."

I can feel the emotion coming at me like a rollercoaster to take me down to hurt my feelings,my eyes becoming slightly watery.

But the squeeze of the hand told me that he was there. Still listening, still with me.

"My...my....." I closed my eyes and buried my head.

"My parents' news came," I said , my voice muffled by the dress.

I can feel him tense beside me moving close till our arms stick together.

"Felicity..."

"It's okay, Zion, I just need a few minutes" I said, my voice cracking.

My throat formed lumps making it difficult to speak. This is the topic I never talked about, I always have kept to myself because I know it's gonna hurt even after all these years. Because after my parents my life was not mine i was not the same i was never gonna be. So I always avoided it no matter what.

That girl is gone.

With a deep breath I looked up and started "I have to leave my college since someone has to take care of the company and I know I can't let it go. So i took the position of ceo it was so damn difficult it was very new to me i don't know what to do, i was studying fashion so i have to study business again in the spare time, everyone was worried of me i felt like if i don't do something the company will be.....so i shut down everyone...."

In all the chaos one thing was clear to me. I can't lose lilly jones, it was part of me, part of my family holding onto it i felt im closer to them that in some messed up fantasy that they are still with me. Still like a family. And I did one thing to let myself go. Let her go.

"Worked extra hours while simultaneously taking care of my study. In the midst of these I forgot life so suddenly wanting to have it just did not feel right.

I don't know if i can ever have a family and i know i can't have it because i don't deserve it"

And suddenly zion hand felt mine and wrapped it around my shoulder bringing me closer to his body.

My eyes widened but did not push him away "zion..."

He shushed me while rubbing my back.

"You deserve it felicity even you say you dont you deserve and you will have a family"

I never thought these words would comfort me to the point where I felt I already deserved it, his body was so warm, so nice , so right against me. I made myself think back to the time where he hugged me like this in my penthouse. I never thought I missed this much. He made me feel things like I was never alone, comfortable, happy, free and closer to the feeling of home.

This is all new to me yet so familiar. I never thought I could feel something like this to someone after the incident. I never indulged in anything like this. Having him with his arms around me and his heartbeat against mine proved me wrong.

I tightened my arms around him and when he returned the same energy my heart fluttered making my heart somersault. With that I let out a single tear to fall on his shoulder and welcomed the overwhelming feeling of thoughts that had been consuming me for a few months. Even though it made me confused, I liked it and I stayed in his embrace.

After a few minutes he pulled from the hug. I took a few minutes to look up at him. His eyes were so beautiful with emotions gracing and adding to its beauty. And time stopped there the wind slowly brushing the sound surrounding us slowly fading into background music while I stared at him, his soft smile and the way he looked at me with pride, kind, happy and maybe something.

And just like that i knew my answer even though it terrified me i never felt this composed joy and peace.

"Felicity ..." he said in his soft voice and gave me a smile which made me alive.

I smiled, bringing my hand to his cheek and lightly caressing his cheek with my thumb. He closed his eyes and leaned into my touch with a content smile.

"Zion" I whispered, he opened his eyes grazing into mine.

"Thank you,"

~~~~~~~

"Wow" I said looking up at the millennium wheel I saw some pictures here and there but seeing up close I never thought it was this huge.

"Are you ready?" Zion asked beside me.

"Yes' 'I said looking up at him he gave me a small smile, grabbed my wrist and led me to the front. I smiled looking at our hands. After our 'talk' we decided to take a walk around the park. It was beautiful when he was with me by my side holding my hands like this. We did not talk that much, just enjoying the presence of each other while appreciating the beauty of Hyde park. After a few minutes Zion said that we can't miss the London eye and here we are climbing into one. He took the seat while I sat opposite him.

I was looking outside and the beauty instantly captured my eyes . Everything seems so small. The lights scattered around the city looked like I was inside a well decorated Christmas tree.

"Isn't it so beautiful?" I exclaimed , turning towards him, zion eyes shifted from the window to me.

"Indeed" he agreed, sitting back, his eyes now locked with mine now.

I averted my eyes, blushing at the way he looked at me.

"Oh it's our turn to be on the top" i said once i realised, zion tilted his head before nodding.

"That's so cool" I said looking out, I felt like I was on the top of the world.

"Is this your first time?" Zion asked me, I turned my attention towards him who was looking at me with a lazy smile.

"London eye yes first time" I said leaning back getting comfortable. "You?"

"Mine too," he said, folding his hands.

"Really i thought you said you have come here few times"

He nodded "yeah but i never really had time to visit the city i usually came for business and it's only my third time"

"Ohhh this is actually my first time visiting...ohhh" I slightly jerked when we started going down. Which made me pout and also made zion laugh

"Why are you laughing?"

"Are you seriously sad that we are going down"

"Well what can i say the top view is the best and now its gone" i slightly huffed.

Zion let out a hearty laugh and my eyes immediately captured it. " You are so funny just because we moved, that does not mean it's gone, it's still there'' he said pointing a finger towards the window "and here" he said tapping my camera and i watched him slowly bring his hand towards my side and slightly tapping my head.

He then leaned back "now put your pout back and enjoy this movement"

For a movement I just sat in silence processing his words which opened a new door inside my heart to look at things differently.

Ever since my parents I was always worried, hung up on the past, not really living in the present but what Zion was true even though they are not here with me but they are still with me in memories in my mind and all the places I live. All these years i never wanted to think because i know it will bring bad memories how stupid i was to forget that along the way i also forgetting the best and beautiful memories.

"Felicity ...." Zion's voice broke my thoughts.

I shook my head and looked at him "yes and zion you were right" i said getting up and sitting beside him, he smiled at the gesture took my hand interlocking our fingers.

And yes I blushed and I had butterflies in my stomach.

But I did not push it away, I accepted it completely.

I like zion. Very much.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~