《A Dangerous Game》Chapter 31
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"Where are we going?" Mila asked, trailing behind Josef, who was leading her down the sidewalk by her hand.
"You'll see," He smiled back at her. They walked hand in hand for a few blocks until they came to a small shop on a street corner, the sign simply reading, 'Hoekmarkt;" Dutch for, 'Corner Market.' Opening the door, a bell jingled, signaling their entrance. A plump man wearing a stained white apron pushed open the door to the kitchen, a grin encompassing his round face.
"Captain Fischer," The man beamed, "A little late to be picking up your usual."
"Usual?" Mila asked, furrowing her brow.
"I come here for lunch most days," Josef smirked. "Mr. Jansen here has the best roast beef in town,"
"And who might this young lady be?" Mr. Jansen asked, arching an eyebrow at Josef.
"This is Mila," He smiled.
"It's a pleasure to meet you," Mila said, extending a hand towards Mr. Jansen.
"The pleasure's all mine," Mr. Jansen replied with a smile. "Any friend of Josef's is a friend of ours.
"Order anything you'd like, so long as it's togo," Josef said.
"We're not eating here?" She asked, giving him a questioning look.
"This isn't our final destination," Josef replied with a coy smile.
"Well I suppose I'll take the usual then," She smirked, handing back the paper menu Mr. Jansen had given her.
"Two roast beef sandwiches it is then," Josef returned her smirk, handing his menu back as well.
They waited as Mr. Jansen prepared their order, sipping on the glass bottle cokes he had slipped them out of the fridge. After less than fifteen minutes, he returned from the kitchen holding a brown paper bag. Taking the bag, Josef thanked him and paid before turning for the door.
"See you tomorrow for lunch," Josef called, the bell jingling as he pushed the door open.
"So where to now?" Mila asked once they had starting walking down the sidewalk again. Josef gave no reply except for a smirk. "Let me guess," She began sarcastically, taking a sip of her coke. "Another surprise." They walked a few more blocks until they arrived at the front steps of the War Office. Turning down the side street they used when Josef needed to work late, she watched as Josef rustled around in his pocket for his keys. "Why are we at the office?" She asked after he had unlocked the backdoor and led her inside.
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"Come on," He smirked. She shook her head with a chuckle, following as he made his way down the hall, towards the familiar set of stairs that led to the upper level. She kept silent as they climbed the steps, knowing exactly where they were headed now.
"I know you loved this place," He said once they had reached the top of the staircase. Smiling softly, he pulled her into the middle of the main room, its walls adorned with the same familiar paintings from before. "And I also know that, even though this is home, it doesn't feel like much of one right now," He added. Taking a seat on the hardwood, he patted the floor beside him, gesturing for her to sit down.
Smiling, she crouched down, smoothing out her dress as she took a seat beside him. Waiting patiently while he went to work unpacking their makeshift picnic, she looked around the room, her gaze settling on the night sky just outside the window. The moon was a bright white tonight, its light seeming to encompass the entire night sky a long with everything underneath it. There was nothing it didn't touch, its warm hues blanketing the city below, and beyond.
"Do you miss your home?" She asked, tearing her eyes from the window to look at Josef.
"I do," He nodded, placing her sandwich in front of her before unwrapping his. "I just hope I have one to return to when it's all said and done," He added, his tone light, though his face showed the subtlest of strain. She nodded, unwrapping her sandwich as well.
"I'm sure you think I have a very obtuse outlook on things," Josef said after they had sat in silence for a while. The statement had been unprompted, but she knew what he had meant. He had been referring to the conversation they had had back at his house.
"I think you have a job that forces you to," She said matter-of-factly, wiping her mouth with the back of her hand before wadding up her empty wrapper.
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"Humph," Josef nodded in agreement. "The military doesn't give you the opportunity to express your opinion on much, that's for sure."
"Especially when that opinion might contradict what they're doing," She added lightly, though she knew all too well how true it was.
"They would have us see the world in black and white ... And maybe once upon a time, I did," He began, leaning back, bracing himself against his palms. "But the longer this war drags on, the more I've started to see that the world is more gray than they'd like to believe." He looked away, seemingly lost in thought. Mila watched him, studying his expression. He looked worn down ... Like something was weighing on him. "I don't want you to think poorly of me," He said after a long pause, keeping his gaze trained in the opposite direction of where she sat.
"I think you're a good man," She said, grasping his hand. "A good man who finds himself in very difficult circumstances," She added, squeezing his hand lightly. She knew the turmoil he felt inside ... Agonizing over if what you were doing was right ... If the ends justified the means. Josef looked at her, his eyes studying her now.
"What made you want to work for the war office?" He asked, as if contemplating the question for the first time. "I mean, this place ... It's your home. Why work for the people who took it from you?"
"This place hasn't been home for quite some time." She glanced away, her gaze trained on the night sky again. "Not since I had family here with me. Gwen ... She's all I have now - we're all either has. Working at The War Office was..." She trailed off, trying to find the right word. "Safe ... It was safe," She lied, a pang of guilt shooting through her chest. Taking the position had been the exact opposite of safe. Safe would've been getting on that ship to England. Safe would've been leaving Holland for good. She had taken the position out of selfishness ... She hadn't realized it until now, but that's what it had been. Selfishness disguised as some righteous quest for justice. "Gwen deserves to hold on to what little family she has left," She added, speaking more to herself now, than to Josef.
"Why didn't you go to England too?" He asked. His question hadn't been accusatory but she couldn't help feel the guilt she had tighten its grip within her chest.
"I don't know," She shook her head. "I suppose I wasn't quite ready to move on." It was true. She had chosen to stay because leaving had meant admitting defeat. Leaving had meant letting go - neither of which she had been ready to do.
"Well I'm glad you didn't," Josef said, placing a hand over her's. "I'd very well be dead if you had," He added, a small smile turning up the corners of his lips. She smiled back, the weight on her chest lifting for the second time that night.
"Thank you," She said softly. "For bringing me here again."
"Of course," He replied, touching his forehead to her's, his lips brushing softly against her own.
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