'And like guns with the ink in, your getting under my skin

Pretty little young thing

Had a bitch cuffing, got me too excited

Yeah, you played me, you played me, you played me

Low down, dirty, shameful, crazy'

○

Shutting my eyes tight I took slow deep breaths desperately hoping that the thoughts swarming in my head would silence.

I felt like I was going insane.

I couldn't sleep and I hadn't ate anything except light fruits these past couple of days.

And it was all because of her.

Couldn't she see that she was hurting me?

She was acting so different, one second we in Bali on top of the world and in the blink of an eye she's ignoring me disregarding my feelings.

The sad part is that this wasn't new, it was like a endless cycle with her.

Highs with cardi were everything that I needed, the only thing that kept me looking forward to each second of everyday was her. But the lows, the lows were mentally and physically draining the life out of me.

I had became dependent on her like she was a drug and no contact with her for a week had me going through the worst withdrawals.

I hated that I needed her, I wanted her even when I wasn't supposed to.

She was my euphoria.

"Bitch you ain't tired of fucking?" Mariah asks as I walk back in the living room after escorting my guest out the house.

"Y'all ready to go?" I ask ignoring her question.

After a week and 4 days our trip was finally over, king had everything aligned for us once we got back to the city.

"I'm about to go put my bags in the sprinter now" Mariah says walking past and I turn following behind her.

Getting in the back of the sprinter I stood my suitcase up next to me, it was mad early so the ride to the airport should be short.

My phone was vibrating nonstop in my hand, I had finally charged it again lastnight cause I didn't want to be bored on the jet.

I had missed calls, messages, and notifications.

Unlocking my phone I went straight to my contacts blocking onika number.

I didn't want to see nothing pertaining to her, I knew that once I got back to the city I would eventually inevitably run into her but I was gone avoid that link up for as long as I could.

On the outside it probably seemed like I didn't give a fuck but inside...

I was hurt as fuck, and even though she hurt me first I still felt guilty.

Guilty for my sinful method of numbing this pain.

I had single handedly made the situation worst with my actions, I couldn't say that I regretted it though.

I wasn't gone be the only one getting my heart ripped out my chest.

"Onika wait up!" Quavious shouts from behind me.

For his own safety he should stop chasing after me before he got hurt, he was literally the last person I wanted to see.

"Nicki" His hand wraps around my wrist in a soft grip stopping me from taking another step.

Snatching my wrist out his grip I swiftly turn around glaring up at him.

"You have some fucking nerve" I snap.

"Look I'm sorry, I guess I just read the signs wrong when you was blushing and shit in class last week. You know I'm feeling you but I don't want to jeopardize our friendship" He says sympathetically and I search his eyes for a lie, there wasn't one.

"What you did was way out of line, sign or not I told you that I was with somebody so you should've respected that. If you can't put ya lil feelings to the side then I don't think we should be friends" I bluntly speak lightly shaking my head.

"This will never happen again I promise, and you right I should respect your relationship regardless of anything I feel. I'm sorry nic foreal" I could tell he was being genuine so I just nod.

"I'll see you in class next week" I send him a small smile before turning on my heels continuing my walk to my car.

I had been driving my beamer lately because the g63 reminded me too much of cardi.

And honestly my brain needed a break from being so consumed of her.