I actually didn't said a word the whole ride, and I know Tristan's getting worried about me. Especially on what I said before I've gotten into mental shutdown, which is probably my last words for the day or in a few weeks.

I sighed for the hundredth time. Thinking, that I turned out to be the person I dreaded to become.

A killer. A murderer. My mother.

My mind kept repeating to that specific moment. When the world suddenly paused and there's just me and the other car. I didn't mind the cold wind that was blasting on my face, like ice that's gradually slapping me, nor Kayla's deadly driving. Everything just stopped and it felt like I'm the only one who's moving. It was magical for quite some time, until reality hit me with a brick.

I closed my eyes and sighed, again.

I was too focused on the target, that I didn't realize I was on pursuit to kill him. The adrenaline I felt that time was wrong. My instincts especially, and that weird thirst to aim, shoot, and kill. It was all wrong!

I looked to my side and Tristan was fast asleep. Well it's a good thing, Kayla had shot Tristan with tranquilizer, to avoid him from going on shark mode on Keith. That way he wouldn't pry me on talking also. Kayla didn't bother to give me one, because I'm weirdly not affected with the smell of blood. Well, it is overwhelming but it's quite easy to ignore. Especially with what's going on my head right now.

We got back to the hotel and got rid of the car. I mean returned it to its owner. There were scratches here and there, but Kayla's friend was unusually fine with it. I think he has already expected this to happen. I mean, I would too, if I was in his shoes. Knowing Kayla would be the driver, it's bound to happen. It's a miracle that she gave it back in one piece, a scratch would have been just a minor thing.

The car's plate number was fake in the beginning, so I think our pursuers would have a hard time tracing us. We got rid of it, also Kayla told her friend to repaint the car. He just nodded anyway without question.

Kayla and I then took Keith to his and Don's room in the hotel. Don was left with Tristan in his own room, waiting for him to wake up. He also took care of Tristan's minor injuries, and so did Kayla on Keith's.

But I can't help to look at what Kayla's doing to Keith's arm, like an actual operation was going on. So I decided to go to our room and probably take a shower. Hoping the memory of killing someone would be wiped out from my head with a shampoo.

I still hadn't spoken a single word till now. And it wasn't just Tristan who's worried about me, all of them are. I can't help it though. I'm still shocked and probably traumatized by what I did.

A hunter's blood, huh? Or is it a killer's blood that's been running through my veins?

I was sitting on the cold floor on the shower room, while I let the water hit my head. I didn't even bother to take off my clothes, nor care that's it all drenched inside out. And I'm weirdly fine shivering like a kitten bathing in snow.

The cold was definitely a great distraction. For my mind still can't move on with what just happened. It kept repeating on that same memory of me pulling the trigger, over and over again like a broken recorder.

I killed someone! Someone with a family. How am I supposed to live with that? Knowing I took a person's life with my bare hands.

How?!

Then I started hitting the back of my head onto the tiled wall, while repeating the same question. How?

If I can't forgive my own mother for killing my father. How am I going to forgive myself by killing a person, who's probably also a father?

Depression has come back to my life with a grand entrance. Taking over my head with dark thoughts. And it even brought along an annoying friend called conscience.

Damn! To think I just recently moved on with my past problems. And now this?! Fate surely hates me.

"Vicky?" I heard Kayla's voice in the room. But my voice was nowhere to be found. I'm sorry, I have to leave you hanging for now Kayla.

Kayla then knocked on the door, but I didn't mind nor cared. I simply just stared at it. She then opened without my permission, normally I'd be on rage. But my emotions had also been missing in action, it too had run away. Leaving me with my bitchy companion called brain.

"Oh Vicky!" Kayla run to my side and hugged me. She didn't care if she too had gotten wet. Then she cupped my face, making me look at her. "Please. Don't be like this." Her expression was full of concern, but I didn't react and just stared blankly at her.

Don too had shown up, he probably heard Kayla's loud voice from here. Thinking were doing something weird, he's probably disappointed on the fact that were not doing what he has on mind.

Kayla kept talking sense into me but it all simply went down the drain like the water. I just closed my eyes while I eased myself onto the cold wall. Her voice simply felt like bees hovering around me.

"What happened to her?" I heard Don asked Kayla in a whisper that's too loud to be called as one.

"She's a mental wreck. Well for now." She bluntly told him the truth. I literally am a train wreck right now. "Now go, I'll take her out the shower. Before she gets sick."

Kayla turned out to be a great caretaker, to a lifeless person like me, or a zombie would've been the right term. She took off my clothes and gave me a real shower. Then she puts me into a robe and made me sit onto the toilet's cover, when she took a shower herself. I too was busy staring at the wall, like it's an abstract painting.

Kayla then dressed me into my pajamas. Yeah, we kind of planned on staying here for the night. If ever the mission is a success, and it is. We planned to celebrate and drink sake, which I think will never happen because I'm a buzz killer.

I simply laid down on my bed and closed my eyes, though I'm far from sleeping. I just wanted to shut everything up and embrace the comfort of darkness. Kayla believed my acting, as she too had slumped onto her side of the bed.

"Hey." She said. I bet she's talking to Jonas on the phone.

"Yeah. The mission's a success. But something had gone wrong." There was a pause. She's probably listening to Jonas on the other line. It would have been better if she had put it on loudspeaker.

"Vicky killed someone. It wasn't her fault. We were in a heated situation. She has to do it, either way." She paused again.

"Yeah I know. She's in a deep shock. And I honestly don't know what to do." Her voice cracked. "She's comparing herself to Victoria." Then Kayla sighed really hard.

"I know. She's not like us. She wasn't trained to kill." She paused for a second. "We have to go back soon. She'll recover fast when she's far from here." She said and listened to Jonas. "Okay bye. See you soon."

I actually didn't intend to eavesdrop but I can't simply tell her to go outside, even if it's the right thing to do. Plus, there was nothing controversial on the conversation, everything she said was true. Kayla really cares for me, and I don't know how to repay that, well for now.

I heard someone knock on the door, and Kayla let that person in, or people was it. When I heard more footsteps than a one man could have.

"How's she doing?" I heard Tristan's voice.

"Not well. And honestly, she's not going to be any better soon." I then heard him sigh as a single response to Kayla.

"We might need someone from the control group." Keith's voice too had entered the conversation.

Should I tell them that I'm wide awake, and I can hear them clearly?

"Poor piglet." Don said. "I didn't know, she's that fragile."

"Well she's been through a lot. More than I could imagine. She hadn't really opened up to anyone. She's willing to listen, yet not willing to share." Tristan paused. "She's still a work in progress, that's what I see in her. And now she's back from scratch."

"Wow. That's deep but probably true." Don said what's on my mind. He turns out to be my perfect representative on that meeting.

I was shocked to hear that from Tristan. He exceeded my expectations, he does know me too well than I'd imagined. Plus, that was a very long speech, so unlike his character.

"Then the more she needs to forget about everything. This will ruin her, more than she is now. Well, in the long run that is." Keith said. He's really adamant on wanting to erase my memory.

I sighed. I don't want them to make a decision for me. I also don't want to have a memory being erased, again, like how I was deprived by the information of being a vampire... ish. A half-blood was more like it.

Though this memory hard as it is, will be a lesson in life, but still in future's time. For now, it feels like I'm living a nightmare.

I opened my eyes and sat up. "Don't." I simply said to all of them. And their expression looks like they've seen a ghost or a zombie that came to life.

"You're awake?" Kayla asked wide eyed.

"Yeah. The whole time." I simply said with a poker face. I sighed as I release this words out my mouth. "Don't worry about me. Let's just continue on with the mission." I said, then laid back to bed. "And rest for now." I ended it with a long sigh.

This time wanting to sleep for good. Forever if possible.