(Heads up. I have midterms next week so I will be a sucky author. Also, there is a little more language in this chapter so heads up.)

I rushed for Jeremy just was tackled to the ground. I looked up to see damon above me holding me down.

"Get him out of here," damon growled.

Damon rolled up his sleeve and gave me some blood.

"This should satisfy you," damon told me.

I dug my fangs into him and drank happily. I love the taste of Damon's blood, sweeter then every other blood. Once I pleased I reluctantly pulled away.

"Great. We are back where we all started," I sighed.

"This time I will do better to help you."

"How am I going to control this?" I sighed.

"Trial by fire. You have a dance tonight," he told me.

"Damon I'm a ripper," I deadpanned.

"I wont let you hurt anybody, but you have to be able to be around people."

I glared at him but I knew he was right. I went up stair and curled my bleached hair. After that I put on my flapper dress and a headband. I looked in the mirror and sighed.

"Please dont hurt anyone," I told myself.

I walked down and saw damon looking quite dashing. He held out a cup to me.

"Animal. Thank stefan," he laughed.

Me and him got in the car and arrived at the school. I went in and found my brother and care.

"We heard. Are you okay?" Care asked.

I faked a smile and nodded my head.

I talked with them until klaus came over. I tensed up at the sight of him amd so did my unsired brother.

"Can I have this dance?" He asked caroline.

I saw how upset tyler looked so I decided to make a dumbass move,"sure. We need to talked anyway."

Klaus reluctantly pulled me on the floor,"I wanted caroline."

"And I want to now be a ripper. I guess we have a problem," I snapped.

"I do seem to like you as a ripper," he noted.

"While this may have not crossed you mind, i dont give a damn what you like," I snapped.

"I'll make a deal. Come with me and you wont be a ripper anymore."

"I have a better deal. I stay with damon and he helps me when I come off the rails," i told him.

"Why do that when I can compel you," klaus asked.

"Because I choose damon. Not you. Have a nice night," I told klaus and walked away.

I walked over to a distressed elena.

"What's wrong?"

"Come with me. Ric is about to make a mistake," she told me.

I nodded my head and after her. Jeremy followed us.

"I made a mistake. Instead of killing vampires I befriended them. Lime you have with her," ric said pointing at me.

"You dont mean that. Damon's your best friend, Ric," I said to him.

"Shut up, murderer," he sneered at me.

"Please ric. This isnt you," elena begged.

"No. I got distract and all that blood is on my hands. Jenna's blood is on my hands," he told us.

"Scarlett, alice, grams, countless others. We all have blood on our hands, but we cant all die for it, " I told him.

"Quiet. I should stake you!" He yelled.

Suddenly he changed. He was back to normal ric. I saw jeremy looking scarred next to me. I gripped his hand.

"I have to guys. I'm going to hurt someone," alaric told us.

"We all have. We all have forgiven. Dont do this. Dont hurt them. Dont hurt me. Dont hurt damon," I begged.

"I'm sorry cam. Tell damon I'm sorry," he said.

"Jeremy-"

"Dont. Dont give me some crap speech!" Jeremy snapped.

"I love you!" He yelled as jeremy walked away.

"Please. Dont leave me to," elena begged.

"You will be okay Elena. I promise. You too Cam. Are some of the strongest people I know. But I have to go now, before I hurt someone I love," he explained.

"You already have," I said numbly, tears falling.

He walked away and me and elena went back to the school in science. We went to his room and started to pack up, both of us crying.

"Cant this wait?" Damon asked.

"I'm not going to let some janitor do it!" Elena yelled.

I silently packed the weapons away. Tyler came in and helped, so did caroline and bonnie. We all did it silently. Ric has made an impact on someway for everyone in the room. It's awful hes dead.

After we finished me and damon went to our room in the salvatore house.

"How are you?" I asked quietly.

"Fine."

"Dont lie."

"Why him! Why'd I loose Ric!" He yelled in anger.

I held him tightly and let him yell. It's good for him.

"I hate him! Why'd I get so damn attached!" He continued.

More tears fell from my eyes. It hurt me to see him upset.

"Why do people I love keep dying," he asked, his voice breaking.

"It isnt your fault," I whispered.

"I'm cursed. I'm fucking cursed," he sobbed into my sholder.

"Your arent cursed day," I said.

He stayed like that and cried into my sholder. I held him as I did. Eventually he was able to fall asleep. I laid him down and covered him up. I went out to the roof.

"My brother is an ass," I heard the voice of kol said.

"I'm sorry about denver."

"I deserved it. I heard about your teacher."

"I'm fine."

"Dont lie."

"We werent close, Kol."

"Are you going to relapse?" He asked softly.

"No kol. I'm trying really hard to be done with it," I whispered back.

"I can make you better," he said sitting next to me,"I can compel you like my brother. I can make you forgot. Take away the ripper instincts. I can do anything to make you feel better. Let me help you."

"Kol."

"Please let me help you. I want to help you," he continued.

"I dont want to be compelled. I want to deal with all this on my own."

"I just dont want you to hurt like me. I spent my whole life hurt, and outsider amd look at me now. I want to fix you," he said to me.

"If the worst thing in life can happen is I end up like you, I think we will be fine," I said.

"I'm sorry I cant help," he told me

"You can."

"How?" He asked.

"Stay with me," I whispered and laid my head on his sholder.

"I can do that," he agreed.

I let silent tears fall as I stared of into the forest," Damon thinks hes cursed, but I think it may be me. Everyone around me dies, and it sucks. Its fucking sucks.

And all I want to do is a take a blade across my damn wrist so I feel something. Kol I feel nothing right now. I'm numb. So fucking numb.

I want to feel Kol. I want to be normal. I want to grow old with a man I love and never have the urge to cut and that can never happen.

I never knew that three years ago when I first cut it be almost impossible to stop. The worst part is even if I knew I'd still do it again. I'm fucked up Kol. Really fucked up."