The tears fall down my cheeks in rapid succession like rivers through forests, never stopping, never ending. They soak the top hem of my hospital-like gown and feel like ice against my pale skin. The sobs escape my wobbling lips louder and louder each time as I clutch desperately unto Jay's lifeless body next to mine, water etching onto his torn shirt as well where my head is rested on his hard chest. His fingers clutched in mine tightly are unmoving against my trembling ones, icy cold and without life.

He's gone, I killed him, he's gone, I killed him-

I can't hear anything besides the faint and crashing background noise in the distance and blood pounds hard in my ears, too loud for me to comprehend anything other than the loss tearing my frozen heart open.

He's gone, my Jay, my soulmate, oh God I killed him-

A scream tears at my throat when the agonizing absence of the bond that we once shared creates deep and unsteady hollowness inside of me. The sound of my own voice sounds foreign to me but I can't stop, letting the screams and tears that I've been bottling up for so long rip their way from my parted lips and golden eyes. I don't even hear the violent bangs and crashes resonating down the hunters' base's corridors behind the heavy door of the room where the rotten stench of metallic blood and flesh fill my nostrils. But even that isn't enough to make me anymore aware of reality than what's happening right now in my arms. Jay is gone. I killed him.

I'm finally crying, and I feel human again, with my heart continuing to rip itself open second after second that Jay stays dead. But I'm not human anymore. I can taste the salty tears on my tongue but parts of Jay's blood flows in my veins, reminding me of the last piece of him that I have left inside of me: the golden flecks of his shut, dark eyes reflected in my fully golden ones, and his gift to me as my Maker.

Vampire.

The word sounds foreign in my mind but oddly familiar, as if my soul had heard it as a background noise since the beginning of my existence but never quite managed to clutch onto it. I recall the wonderful taste that Liam's flowing blood had on my tongue just moments before, and the beautiful feelings of release when my fangs extended.

With a shaking body I disentangle my body from Jay's on the floor and peer down at the love of my life's closed eyes. I'll never see those captivating dark eyes again, and it's all my fault. I lean down and place a silent kiss on his cold lips, feelings more tears pushing their way to the front of my eyes as another wave of agony crashes into my soul and knocks the breath out of me.

I throw my head back and scream.

...•...

The sound of a door opening clicks in my mind as I doze in and out of sleepless consciousness, desperately willing my mind to just shut off and forget reality. I want to forget, I need to forget about the dead man lying beside me. Jay never told me how to kill a vampire, but I'm going to find out, and then we'll be together again.

I hardly feel the large hands gripping my shoulders on the floor and gently shaking me. Cold lips fan my ears and a shiver runs through me. "Emma, Em... Wake up, Emma..."

I shake my head ferociously, not wanting to come back to reality where that same loss will hit me like a truck. I don't know how long I've been lying next to Jay's body in this cold and blood-drenched room, and I don't want to know.

I don't care anymore.

My blonde hair feels plastered to my forehead with the tears that have long dried out from my eyes but still wet on my skin. I lick my lips as a foreign sensation of burning presses forwards in my throat and an agonizing feeling in the out of my stomach reminds me of extreme starvation. I'm grateful for it now, because it wills me to forget about my soulmate's death.

Could I starve myself to death? Can vampires die of starvation and deprivation from blood? Sweet, sweet and enriching blood...

"Emma, Emma we have to get out of here..." That same masculine voice fills my ears and replaces the loud pulsing of cold blood against my eardrums. Gentle hands pry my fingers open and away from Jay's cold ones, and I immediately feel his absence.

No, I don't want to come back to reality, I don't want to come back-

"Emma." The voice is firm now, but with an underlying tone of honey sweetness filling my ears with hypnotizing music. Slowly and tentatively I blink, my golden eyes immediately taking in everything around me. Death surrounds me. Blood and torn limbs and rotting flesh. But what I don't expect is another course of shocks and pain twisting my body from the inside and stabbing at my dead heart as Jay's immobile figure on the ground fills my acute field of vision.

"No!" I scream, feeling my body convulsing into violent trembles as firm hands grip my arms in an attempt to keep me still.

"Emma," the familiar and masculine voice says deeply, "Emma listen to me-"

"No!" I trash against my captor's strong hold and I can't rip my burning gaze from my dead soulmate's blood-stained body. "Please, God no!"

"Emma!" The voice booms through the room and bounces of the walls and I still, falling limp against strong arms. I want to escape this world, to never wake up again, to join Jay in a second eternity. I need him with me. The absence of our bond feels like a million stabs to my cold heart.

"No..." I whisper with desperation, hardly processing anything as the man behind me holding me captive in his arms raises me slowly onto shaking legs.

"I'll get you home."

I'm brought up into a strong embrace as he lifts me up from the ground, letting my head fall into his muscular chest. I finally look up between half-closed and blurry eyes, and feel something foreign fill my lungs with unneeded air as I take in his beautiful features with that haunting scar running down his cheek.

"Hunter?" I whisper again.

"I'll get you home." He repeats, infinite eyes staring down at me.

...°...