《Tear You Apart》Strings Attached
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[[AUTHOR'S NOTE: SEXUAL CONTENT WARNING!! This chapter contains some pretty steamy scenes. Also Judd is 100% a soft dom and no one can convince me otherwise!! I have set this chapter up so if you stop reading after the warning I've placed further down the page, you won't be missing out on any important info for the plot. Thank you everyone who has taken time to read my story and leave me comments and love, you guys make my week
Sitting in a dingy little diner that smelled like bleach water and burnt toast at six in the morning watching Judd Birch tuck into a stack of chocolate chip pancakes quite literally doused in maple syrup was not how I ever imagined my Saturday going. I couldn't remove the grimace on my face, my teeth aching just watching another human consume that much sugar in one meal.
"What?" His words were muffled by the bite he'd just taken.
"I'm just concerned you're going to give yourself diabetes," Furrowing my brow and glancing from him to his breakfast again.
"Says the girl with enough saturated fat on her plate to give an elephant heart disease," he motioned towards my plate of bacon and eggs with his fork.
"Touché." A small smile crossed my face as I went back to my own food. The meal was far from exceptional and I was pretty sure our waitress was high on pills but the feeling in my chest when I looked into the eyes of the boy seated across from me was exhilarating in the most addictive way.
I found myself wondering what the Hell I was doing here. I should be home asleep, not ogling over a pair of green eyes. Thinking back to the events at the wedding, I cringed. This wasn't supposed to go this far. I didn't want to hurt Judd by allowing him to get any closer and yet there was nowhere else I would rather be than seated in this sticky booth with him. I felt as if I was getting myself deep into something I didn't want, and yet I wanted to jump right off the cliff I was metaphorically standing on. I wanted to see what was waiting for me at the bottom of this rabbit hole and it was simultaneously invigorating and terrifying.
Why the Hell wouldn't I want this?
Judd interrupted my self quarrel and I looked up.
"Hmm?"
"Tell me a secret."
"Why would I do that?" I cocked my head and gave him an amused smile.
"I've shared one with you. An eye for an eye, right?" My eyes couldn't leave his mouth as he licked the remnants of syrup from his fork slowly as he relished the sweet taste. I momentarily remembered just what that tongue felt like and I was stricken with jealousy towards the utensil.
Blushing and looking away, I responded.
"What secret did you tell me?"
"My sweet tooth. Not very manly to enjoy pancakes and hot chocolate with extra marshmallows is it?" He motioned towards the spread in front of him, his features unreadable as I managed a peak in his direction.
"No, I suppose you're right," I giggled before continuing, deciding to humor him. "Alright well, what do you want to know?"
"Whatever you want to tell me," his tone was suddenly low and soft, almost as if to reassure me that it was okay to share with him before lifting the mug of hot chocolate to his lips. My throat got tight suddenly at the mediocre sign of affection and I internally groaned at my own desperation.
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"Um, well. I've got my nipples pierced," I blurted out and I watched as he nearly choked on his drink, sputtering on the hot liquid with surprise.
"W-was that too much?" I laughed nervously as he recovered, wiping his mouth with a napkin. Despite my sluggishness due to the night before, adrenaline was coursing through my veins.
"A little," he chuckled, his head dropping to hide his features. I noticed he was biting his lip, as if he were resisting the urge to say something.
"Oh shit, um," I fumbled for words anxiously, suddenly hyperaware of my words that hung between us uncomfortably.
"It wasn't a bad thing, you just surprised me is all," Judd's juniper eyes were on me, concern heavy in his voice as he assured me once more. His hand slid over mine and gave it a comforting squeeze. A blush was beginning to creep up my face once again and I pulled my hand away, letting it sit in my lap under the table.
"You know what they say about curiosity," I mumbled with an embarrassed smile. I could feel my heart fluttering in my chest. Why did he have to make me so fucking nervous?
"I'll take that risk," he was leaning toward me, his eyes searching my own for something. "What's your biggest regret?"
"You ask a lot of questions for someone who doesn't like meaningless conversations," I smirked, trying to relax into the seat. My stomach was doing flips and I didn't know if it was from anxiety or arousal anymore, the two emotions were battling for dominance currently.
"This isn't a meaningless conversation." He was relaxed and intuitive as he nonchalantly played with a straw wrapper, twisting it and rolling it between his calloused fingers. Pushing away more dirty thoughts, I tried to concentrate so that I could contemplate my answer.
"Leaving Pennsylvania," I managed through slightly clenched teeth, remembering the last time we talked about me. I was hoping this conversation wouldn't go south like so many of our other discussions had.
"Why?"
"It was home. But I had to leave. I couldn't abandon my dad," I didn't want to elaborate but I had a feeling Judd was going to pry it out of me, and a small part of me was almost happy to tell him. It almost felt good to share my thoughts with another human being.
"Do you have a good relationship with him?" This was beginning to feel almost psychologically interrogative. What was the point in this conversation?
"We're very alike. It used to drive my mother crazy," I gave him a sad smile, thinking about just why she'd left us. A sharp stabbing feeling coursed its' way through my heart, replacing the soft fluttering feeling that had been there when Judd had squeezed my hand.
He's analyzing you to use the information against you.
I bit the inside of my cheek until I tasted blood.
"What about you?" I turned the conversation away from me, suddenly unwilling to share anything else.
"What about me?" He retorted, abandoning the straw wrapper and giving me his undivided attention.
"Hell, I don't know... What are you afraid of?" If he wanted information, I would make him give up something in return. This satisfied the untrusting creature lurking in my head with its' hackles raised and allowed me to continue the conversation.
"Being forced to sell away my youth in labor in order to subsist," he replied without missing a beat. "I don't want to live in a country that consists of the one percent hoarding its riches like some sick, medieval dragon lying on its hoard of gold and picking its' teeth with the bones of the masses."
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"You want to make a difference," I answered, interested by his answer. It didn't surprise me he wanted to rebel against the government, in fact I would've been shocked to find out he didn't have a punk rock streak. He needed to feel validated and important.
"I don't want people to suffer who don't deserve it," his voice was soft again, his eyes matching his voice as his brow smoothed out and he seemed to be considering his own words. There was a slight shift in the space between us, leaving me feeling momentarily uneasy.
Something about his reply stirred emotions in me I didn't understand. Pity. Anxiety. And then... more dirty thoughts.
A voice that didn't seem like it was my own answered for me.
"Do you think I deserve to suffer?"
I almost clasped my hands over my mouth, the words feeling strange and forbidden on my lips.
"Only if I'm causing it of course," he replied, his voice coming out a husky rasp as he winked. The air was suddenly crackling with heat and electricity, like right before a thunderstorm in the summertime.
I didn't realize just how close we'd both leaned in until the waitress was in front of us, muttering something about the bill. Only then was I aware of how thick the atmosphere had become, and I eased into my seat with a deep blush. Judd shook his head, as if coming out of a trance and handed her cash without even glancing up at her, instead choosing to watch my reaction with a devilish smirk.
"I really ought to be getting home, my dad is going to be leaving for work soon," I managed, unable to meet his eyes. There was an unspoken question in the sentence that I knew he picked up on immediately.
"I think that's a good idea," Judd's smirk grew even wider as he fished his car keys out of his pocket.
(SEXUAL CONTENT WARNING!!! Stop here if you're not into smut scenes!)
**
My dad's car was still sitting in the driveway when we pulled up. The tension was thick in Judd's Jeep and I had to smack his hand away from my thigh with a laugh.
"He should be leaving any minute," I turned to look at him, feeling renewed and jittery from my newfound sense of purpose. I went to hop out of his car when a strong grip on my forearm stopped me.
I turned to face him questioningly and my thoughts were interrupted. His lips were on mine, his mouth moving passionately against my own before my mind had time to process just what was happening. He tasted saccharine and warm and it was in that moment I understood his sweet tooth. I wanted nothing more than to melt into him forever.
He broke apart just as quickly before leaning into my ear.
"I'll circle around the block. Don't keep me waiting."
In any other circumstances, I would have popped off about someone being so demanding but, in that moment, it sent delicious chills up and down my spine.
I left his vehicle feeling dizzy and electrified, every nerve in my body firing like crazy.
Stepping into the cool air of my home, I was met in the doorway by my father who was dressed for work.
"Where have you been?" His voice was uncharacteristically alarmed as he looked me up and down. My hair was a mess, I was half dressed, and my eyes were wild. I probably looked like a fucking crackhead to him.
"Sorry dad, I had to walk home from my friend's house. Freaking Tallulah got sick and left and I couldn't get a ride home," I lied smoothly but my hands were shaking. My entire body felt electrified.
"You should've called me." His eyes were still on me and I felt small under his gaze.
"I didn't mean to worry you dad. Won't happen again I promise," I held up a hand in a mock Boy Scout salute and tried to skirt past him.
"Get some rest. You look like Hell," he wrinkled his nose at me and squeezed my shoulder affectionately before disappearing out the door. I all but threw myself onto the couch to plug my phone in to charge so I could text Judd that the coast was clear. The moment the phone came to life, I messaged him to say my dad had just left.
His reply came a split second later.
I glanced out the window and didn't see his Jeep outside. How did he know? Shrugging and leaving the phone where it lay, I kicked off my combat boots, padding toward my bedroom, my fishnet covered feet making a small sound as I crossed the carpet. A noise on the other side of the closed door brought me out of my thoughts. Opening it hesitantly, I gasped when I noticed Judd standing in the middle of my room, the window standing wide open. Of course, he'd snuck in. He was looking at the collection of DVDs perched haphazardly in stacks on the dresser.
"Your movie collection is erm, unique." There was a bashful smile plastered to his face almost as if he was secondhand embarrassed for me. He was holding a copy of Nosferatu and wrinkled his nose up as he read the cover. A small sense of annoyance flashed across my face before I could stop it.
"Nosferatu makes the modern-day vampire look like a punk bitch. Give that back, you uncultured swine," I commanded, reaching out and swiping the DVD from him easily and returning it to its' place. A sense of bewilderment washed over me as I took in the scenario. Judd Birch was standing in my bedroom, looking through my old horror movie collection. It was something so simple, yet so intimate. He was looking at a part of me very few people ever saw. The notion made my heart flutter more than it should have.
"You're very... interesting," His eyes were on me when I turned around after I'd replaced my movie. He was standing barely a foot away, and his arms snaked up to rest on either side of me, effectively capturing me between him and the dresser. The wood dug into my back as I instinctually tried to put some space between us. The look on his face was predatory, his breath washing over my face as he leaned in further, our noses mere inches apart. I felt like a deer in headlights, unable to move and completely at his mercy. It sent a shiver down my spine.
"H-hey what can I say? I'm a sucker for the classics," I swallowed nervously. Why the fuck was I anxious? I needed to gain some of my equanimity. This was not who the fuck I was. The regular Devi would have this captivating man slammed against a wall by now, grinding against him for all she was worth. This was not my first sexual encounter and realistically, I'd wanted to be in this exact scenario since the day I laid eyes on him. Way too late to act shy now.
Judd chuckled, allowing one of his hands to fall to the tie still knotted loosely around my neck, fiddling with the smooth material as if he was mulling over something in his head. I stood there, taking small breaths and enjoying his feather light touches that scorched my exposed skin, igniting every nerve impulse along my clavicles where he stroked.
"Are you going to stand there toying with me all day or are you going to put that thing to use?" I challenged, motioning towards the tie and gaining my confidence suddenly. A beam of pride spread across my face. That sounded way more like me.
"I was just thinking the same thing," he purred, catching my chin in his hand. There was a dangerous glint in his eyes suddenly as he kissed me, undoing the Winsor knot that sat against the hollow of my throat with expert hands. The cool silk made me shiver as it was slid off my neck slowly and I relaxed into Judd's touch. It was just as amazing as the first time, if not better. His mouth moved to the junction between my neck and jawline abruptly, planting measured but carnal kisses there that made my knees weak.
The fire that had sparked beneath my skin was now an inferno, stemming from the intersection of my collarbones and trailing south quickly. I was beginning to feel lightheaded as the blood in my body pooled in the apex of my thighs.
"Why don't we have some fun with this, hm?" his voice was low and regaled when he broke away finally. I was all but gasping for air, forgetting how to breathe when he'd kissed me. I didn't have to see myself to know my skin was flushed pink with arousal. I noticed he had the black tie curled loosely around one hand.
"Oh? What did you have in mind?" Any doubt I'd felt earlier had diminished. I was putty in this boy's hands, unaccountable for my actions and words. It was as if a dam had broken; I didn't want to hold back anymore, and I didn't care about any future consequences if there were any.
"Do you have the keys to these handcuffs?" he asked, grabbing one of the black fuzzy hand restraints loosely and grinning like the Cheshire Cat. I'd completely forgotten they were still attached to my belt. No wonder my father had looked at me like I had two heads.
"Maybe I don't want out of them?" I insinuated with a suggestive grin and a wink.
He made a noise in the back of his throat and dropped his head before meeting my eyes again with a hungry look.
"On the bed. Now." His voice was full of authority, a dark smile on his lips.
I was happy to comply.
**
Backing onto the mattress, I made a come-hither motion with my index finger as I watched him give me a dangerous look while he shrugged out of his jacket and dropped it to the floor unceremoniously before joining me on the bed.
The furniture creaked under our combined weight as he situated himself by my lower legs and began running his hands up my fishnets slowly, taking in the site with a small groan.
"As beautiful as you look in these, I can't wait to have them off you," he stared at his handiwork as he massaged the distal aspect of my calves, drawing a small moan out of me. Despite the sexual nature of the act, it felt amazing and I stretched out, enjoying the feeling of his hands rubbing the soreness out of my muscles.
"Mm, please take them off," I purred, closing my eyes to settle against the pillows near the top of my bed.
"In due time," he replied huskily, running his hands between my knees and up my thighs and digging his fingers into the flesh there deliberately. "I wonder what other noises I can get out of you before then hm?"
"O-oh fuck Judd... you're such a fucking tease," I complained with a small whine, letting my head fall back and my eyes close.
"I'm just getting started darling. Sit back and relax," he chuckled, hoisting himself up so that he was perched above my lower half, watching me through sparkling emerald eyes.
I didn't understand the game he was getting at, but I was interested to see where it was going. This was unlike any other sexual encounter I'd ever experienced. Not to say that they weren't pleasurable, but it was relatively straight forward. This was drawn out and deliberate and intoxicating. I didn't care what the end result was at this point, I just wanted it to go on forever.
He stoked the fire in my belly with his erotic words and there was something in me that just wanted to do whatever it was he asked when normally I would be the one taking charge in the scenario. His hands ran along my left thigh, tracing the top of the stocking there, teasing the skin above it that was bare as he pushed my skirt up to my hips.
His fingers slipped into the band of my fishnet and began working it down my leg so slowly, leaning down to plant wet kisses on the skin as it was exposed, stopping at my knee but pulling the nylon material off completely, discarding it somewhere out of site, his mouth never leaving my skin.
He repeated the same process for the other leg as I watched him, all the while, attempting to steady my breathing.
His head disappeared between my parted thighs suddenly, earning a surprised yelp from me as he licked a long stripe up my thigh, holding the limb in an iron grip.
"Oh fuck..." I murmured when he planted apologetic kisses along my Gracilis muscle, forcing me to relax into the skin contact.
"You like that sweetness? You're already so wet for me," he stroked the material of my panties with his thumb as he watched my reaction. His words were driving me mad with want, and I tried to shift my thighs together to ease the friction.
"Please, oh fuck I want you so bad," I mewled as he resumed his heavy petting, stroking me enough to tease but deliberately keeping his touches light enough to continue his torment. My hands found their way to his hair by themselves and I tugged it by the roots to get my point across, earning a pained groan from him. I needed some sort of release before I lost my fucking mind.
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