It had been nearly a whole week without speaking to Noah. I was feeling better, but empty.

Tiffany encouraged me to at least shoot him a text or a call. I always refused though. This was a break up after all, I just had to move on.

"He's doing better?" Tiffany spoke on the phone beside me.

"Yeah that's nice. Tell him we miss him." She laughed into the phone, obviously talking to Natalie about Noah.

"She's okay. Still sad all the time." She spoke, glancing at me quickly.

"Can you stop?" I threw a small pillow at her, making her laugh and move away from me.

"Yeah I pissed her off." She walked to the kitchen and opened the fridge, looking for something to eat.

I decided to ignore it and keep scrolling on my phone.

"You guys wanna do something?" Tiffany asked me and Audrina.

"Not really." I grumbled.

"You've been saying that for the past week and a half." Audrey said, letting her head fall back on the head rest of the couch.

"It's getting old." She complained.

"You guys go ahead! I don't feel like it." I said to her, snuggling into my blanket.

"You need to get out of the house. You're looking paler and paler each day." Tiffany appeared behind me, bunching up my hair.

"What's wrong with being pale?" I rolled my eyes.

"I'll go out when I want to." I looked at my wrist, the bruise now blue and a hint of green. It wouldn't go away for some reason. Maybe another week and an ice pack would help.

"Make it soon, then." Audrina said without looking up from her phone.

I dozed off from the conversation, thinking of my dream from a couple nights ago. I still hadn't forgotten it completely. All I remembered were my two children and their father; Noah.

It was one of those dreams that you always remember, no matter how much you try to forget them.

I sighed, wondering of Noah thought about me as much as I thought about him. Probably not.

I held on to the possibility that he still did, even though he didn't call or text me anymore.

Boy, do I miss him. I hate myself for it, but I look at the picture of him sleeping more than I do pictures of anything else. I listen to the playlist we made together and fall asleep to it, like we used to.

What if I went to go see him? It that a bad idea?

Fuck, my eyes are starting to burn.

"You good?" Tiffany sat back down next to me, no longer talking on the phone.

"Yeah, I was just looking at the ground." I cleared my throat, smiling.

"So? Can we please go out Mel?" Audrina plead, giving me her puppy dog eyes.

"What's stopping you two from going out without me? You already go everywhere with Ryan and Natalie." I crossed my shoulder and furrowed my brows.

"We miss you! All of us." Tiffany rubbed my shoulder, giving me a dear look.

"Maybe next time." I said. They groaned, looking at each other.

"Like I said, I'm fine by myself." I shrugged, hugging a pillow against my chest.

"That's not the point. We want to enjoy our time with you." Audrina said, frustration laced in her voice.

"I'll tell you guys what." I sighed, looking at my wrist.

"We can go to the mall tomorrow." I softly said, chewing on the inside of my cheek. I felt bad that I was holding them back from having fun.

I'm just never in the mood to go out nowadays. I'd rather stay in and check my phone, holding onto doomed hope.

Maybe not completely doomed.

"Yes! I've been needing new clothes anyways." Audrina sighed happily.

"Alright. Looking forward to it." Tiffany smiled, grabbing the remote and turning the tv on.

"What do you guys wanna watch?" She asked, tossing Audrina the remote as she got up to make something.

"Something fun." Audrina giggled, searching through movies.

*

"Jesus christ." I mumbled under my breath, watching the man in the movie get impaled with a metal rod. I looked away, my face in a grimace.

Audrina watched intently, shoving popcorn into her face. I don't know how she could eat while watching people get gruesomely slaughtered.

That was something she was good at.

"Ugh Audrina!" Tiffany looked away from the screen, her face the same as mine.

"It's not that bad guys, grow a pair." Audrey laughed and rolled her eyes. She really had a good stomach.

"I think I'm calling it a night." Tiffany gagged, her eyes on the screen as she stood up. She dusted popcorn crumbs off her pants.

We had been watching the whole 'Saw' franchise all afternoon. Audrey insisted they were good, but she had a gory taste in movies.

"You sure you're okay?" Audrey laughed, her eyes focused on the dying man on screen.

"Nothing some cat videos can't fix." She laughed, grabbing a water bottle and heading to her room. She shivered, shutting the door as the screaming continued.

I laughed, turning my attention to my phone. It was a text from Natalie.

I gasped out loud when she I read the message. I felt warmth in my chest, the same warmth I haven't felt since we broke up. My eyes were rimmed with tears

I sent the message then shut off my phone. I tried to hide my giggles, staring at the bloody screen.

He still thought of me... that was enough to confirm my feelings for him were still there. Even though I'm not sure if I can forgive him, I'm getting closer to.

I just hope he still wants me. To be honest, I wouldn't want myself after this ugly break up.

I gulped, hoping eventually when I went back to him he would accept me.

"Damn." Audrina laughed, staring at the screen, a new trap set up.

It looked incredibly gruesome, making me cringe before the time even begun. I knew I had to clock out at this point.

"Ugh, I'm gone." I stood up and dusted my shorts, heading to my room.

"Goodnight." She snickered, yawning.

"Don't go to sleep too late." I said to her as I cleaned up my space on the couch, setting the pillows in a decorative position.

"Alright night night." She waved at me, her eyes peeled on the tv.

"This is the last movie I'll be done soon." She said, eating the last of her popcorn.

I laughed and went into my room, shutting the door.

I hopped onto my bed, sighing comfortably.

I looked at the text, my heart beating faster.

I turned on Noah and I's playlist, picking out some cozy shorts and a tank top to change into.

I sang along softly to a song, putting my hair down and brushing through it with my fingers.

I laid down on my bed, the music playing beside me.

"He misses you." A small voice played in my head.

"He misses you~" the voice repeated. I ignored it, focusing on the music.

I eventually began to doze off after a long while, the songs the only thing on my mind.

"~You should go see him~"

My legs took me to a sweater in my closet. I put it on and grabbed my keys and put some shoes on.

I took my phone and snuck out of my room.

It was nearly 12 in the morning, but I wasn't thinking about that.

The living room was empty, Audrina was probably asleep now.

My legs took me to the front door, my hand twisted the doorknob and opened the door.

I walked out, unlocking the door and stepping into the car.

I let my body drive me to my destination, even though I really didn't know where I was going.

I took the familiar road, parking my car on the curb.

My legs walked me to the front door; my fist knocked on it.

"What am I doing? What the hell am I actually doing?" I whispered to myself, my mind finally catching up with me.

Before I could turn away, the door opened.

"Uh, hi." His rasped voice said, and my legs didn't budge. I couldn't move.

--