"What happens when people open their hearts?"

"They get better."

― Haruki Murakami, Norwegian Wood

"There's somethinge else we need to discuss. Something less pleasant."

Zeph said they needed to talk, and everyone knows that if your loved one says you need to talk, shit's about to go down.

Fayez blinked a few times, before examining his mates one by one, as if the questions he had in his head could be answered simply by looking at their faces.

"Does it have to do with any of you?" he inquired with a shaking voice. "Is one of you sick? Or hurt? Did something happen while I was in coma?"

"The three of us are fine" Ashur was prompt to reassure him, causing Fayez's shoulders to slump in relief.

His mates did look fine - hell, they looked much more than just fine. Too bad they wanted to have a serious talk right now, because Fayez was definitely in the mood for a different kind of activity.

Ugh. Adulthood. I always thought that it would involve lots of sex and money. I couldn't have been more wrong.

"If it doesn't concern any of you" Fayez resumed, "then it cannot be that bad. Come on, dudes, no need for the long faces."

His mates didn't even make an attempt at smiling, making their fourth mate even more confused. Ashur had just claimed that they were fine, so why did they look so down?

"I just called you dudes and you're not putting me on your lap?" he tried again, tugging at the handcuff to force Akhenaton to react. "Are you sure you're really my mates, and not some clones sent to Earth to abduct me?"

Still nothing. He was starting to feel stupid, now. Here he was, the 300 years old virgin making lame sexual jokes, while it was obvious that nobody in the room was in the mood for them. Even Zephyr didn't crack up one bit.

"What about you?" Akhenaton abruptly asked. "What if you're the one concerned?"

"I don't give a shit about myself" Fayez replied truthfully, laughing a bit at the weird question.

"Maybe that's the problem", Zephyr intervened for the first time, as he looked at him with a troubled expression.

Fayez frowned. He had missed his mates. For God knows how long, he had only been able to hear their voices. It must have been as hard for them as it had been for him, but now he was back. He wanted to feel their arms around him, wanted to have long, mindless talks with them. He wanted to see their faces when he woke up at dawn, wanted to learn everything there was to learn about each of them.

Now was supposed to be a time for love, joy and celebration, but apparently, his mates had decided to be freaking killjoys.

"What is it?" he asked a bit more aggressively than he had intended. "If you have something you want to tell me, just fucking do it. Enough with the riddles."

Akhenaton narrowed his eyes at him, but didn't say anything. It was Ashur who replied to him:

"I'm sorry, Faye. I know it's unpleasant for you, but there are some things that need to be confronted. We would like you to tell us..."

The sight of Ashur struggling to come up with the right words made Fayez widen his eyes in disbelief. The prefect was always so quiet, so confident about everything but mostly about himself.

Things must have been more serious than he had assumed.

"I shouldn't have gotten mad at you" Fayez said in a contrite tone, as Ashur couldn't seem to finish his sentence. "We should be able to talk about anything. Just tell me. I promise I won't get mad or try to run away."

Ashur nodded, but Akhenaton didn't seem to believe him. After an additional minute of silence, Zephyr declared in a hurried way, as if the words were burning his tongue:

"We know about the self-harm, squirrel."

Fayez stiffened. He should have guessed that his three mates knew about it. They always seemed to find out about everything.

"I told you not to tell them" Fayez eventually responded, looking at Akhenaton with an accusatory expression.

"You're the one who told me, Faye" Zephyr quietly replied, his eyes soft but full of sorrow. "On the day you healed me. You were in so much pain, I think you didn't realize what you were saying."

He shouldn't have blamed Ake like that. Truth, since the day Akhenaton had found out about the self-harm, he had been watching Fayez so closely, that the young vampire had found it very hard to hurt himself without the other knowing.

He also knew that Akhenaton didn't like the idea of not telling Ashur and Zeph about it. Still, he hadn't said a thing, waiting for Fayez to be ready to talk about it. Now that he thought about it, it must have been hard for Ake to keep silent for so long.

He really was a selfish mate for not taking his mate's pain in consideration.

"What self-harm?" he attempted to lie. "I was obviously in a delirious state. What I said back then doesn't have any meaning. I was so out of it I could have said that Akhenaton is a charming man, or that Zephyr doesn't have a single naughty cell in him."

Akhenaton scoffed and shook his head, as if saying "really?".

"Cut the crap already, Faye." Zephyr sighed. "It's okay if you don't want to talk about it, but please don't lie to us."

That's right. Not only was he selfish, but he was also a liar. It wasn't the first time that he had lied to his mates.

Now, they had also found out that he was a freak, because only a freak would voluntarily inflict pain on themselves, right?

He couldn't do it. He couldn't be around his mates, who deserved much better than him. He had to get out of this room.

He took a deep breath, before jumping out of the bed.

The problem was, in his attempt at escaping the uncomfortable situation, Fayez had forgotten two important things.

One, the door was still being magically locked.

Two, he was still handcuffed to Akhenaton's left wrist.

He fell on the carpet with a loud thud, then groaned in pain when Akhenaton fell on top of him.

"Ouch"

"Fuck"

As he opened his eyes, he realized that Akhenaton was looming over him. He tried to move, but the other guy was too heavy and wouldn't budge.

"Ake, move." he whined. "You're crushing me."

"Goddess. What have I ever done to you to deserve a mate with a pea-size brain?" Akhenaton complained, while massaging his sore ribs.

Fayez was about to retort something, when he felt a pair of firm lips against his own.

That shut him up effectively. The kiss, albeit short and chaste, was definitely comforting.

"It's alright" Akhenaton murmured in his ear, while caressing Fayez's neck with his free hand. "You know you can talk to us. We will never judge you."

Akhenaton was heavy, but Fayez liked having him on top of him. It was a comforting feeling. His close proximity, along with his soothing voice and gentle words, were enough to make Fayez's panick subside a bit.

"Why do you want to talk about it?" Fayez asked, in an equally low voice. "I don't even know what to tell you."

"The only reason why we brought this up is because we want to help you." Akhenaton replied, his brown eyes never leaving Fayez's face. "I know you're feeling uncomfortable right now, but talking can be freeing."

"I don't want you to see me as a freak."

Akhenaton carefully lifted up Fayez by the hips, before circling his arms around his waist. To Fayez, Ake felt like a blanket. A warm, comfy blanket.

"We will never see you as a freak, Faye. I actually hate this word. Who are we to decide who among us are freaks and who are 'normal people'? Anyway, what I want to say is -"

He took a strand of Fayez's silky hair, and put it behind his ear, a tender gesture that brought tears to Fayez's eyes.

"Don't forget how much we love you, baby brat."

Fayez nodded, at loss for words. He pulled Akhenaton down, forcing him to put his full weight on him. They remained in this position for a long time, before Fayez finally declared:

"Okay. I'm ready to talk."

"Are you sure?"

"I am."

They climbed back on the bed, and Fayez was welcomed by warm and sympathetic smiles from his other two mates. Without thinking much of it, he sat between Ashur's thighs, leaning back so that the other man's chest would touch his back.

He turned around slightly to check that the prefect didn't mind the position. Judging by the pleased smile he got in return, his mate didn't mind, on the contrary.

"I don't know what to tell you" he started, unable to fight his smile when Ashur kissed him on the cheek.

"You can tell us whatever you want. Just go with the flow."

That was easier said than done, Fayez realized. He had never told a soul about it - well, sure, he might have admitted the self-harm to Akhenaton and Zephyr (by accident), but he hadn't actually told them.

"I don't know when I've started hurting myself. I've done it for a long time, but not on a regular basis. There were times when I din't do it at all, but these times never lasted for long."

He started chewing on his bottom lip. He couldn't believe he was actually talking about it. It felt weird, and all too real, because as long as you don't talk about things, they don't exist, right?

He had always known he shouldn't harm himself this way. That's why he had always considered it as one of his biggest secret. It was something intimate. Something nobody else was supposed to know about, not even his family - especially not his family.

What was the point in telling somebody about it? He had always thought he would get nothing but incomprehension and mockery in return.

"You're doing great, sweet boy."

Ashur's chest was warm and wide, and he was caged between his muscular legs. His mates always made him feel protected, whether they were aware of it or not.

"I used to do it more often when I was younger. The self-harm, I mean. Sometimes, I was feeling so lonely that I got mad at myself. I thought, if I was a better person, then surely I wouldn't be so lonely. People dislike you for a reason. So, I just wanted to punish myself for not being someone else."

He caught a glimpse of Zephyr's face, who looked like he was on the verge of crying. The sight was enough to make him close his eyes tight. He wasn't strong enough to keep on with his pitiful narrative while looking at his mates' distraught expression.

"Of course, the first time I hurt myself, I don't think I was really conscious of what I was doing. It just hurt so much inside, and I wanted to make it stop. When the metal blade grazed at my skin, I forgot about how lonely I was. For a short moment, I felt stronger, knowing that I could handle the pain."

He remained quiet for a long time. Nobody broke the silence.

His mates didn't need to talk or to touch him to make him feel better. Feeling their presence was enough to give him the strenght he needed to uncover his frailty.

"Only, the relief was short-lived. I always felt worse afterwards. The more I hurt myself physically, the more I felt like my mind was about to shatter. I couldn't understand why I was doing that to myself, and I hated myself for it. There wasn't a day when I didn't felt the urge to make myself bleed - or to touch myself until the skin was burnt, since my hands are cursed. I was really disgusted with myself."

He rubbed his gloved hands nervously. He had to keep on going. There was no turning back. They already knew most of the story at this point.

"One day, I got very afraid. I was afraid of myself, of how far I was willing to go. I used to believe hurting myself could help me reign my emotions in. It was the opposite, actually. I was no longer in control. How could I live in a body I kept harming?"

He opened his eyes, and bravely looked up. Words were coming out more easily now, and he was talking with a bit more confidence.

"Starting from this day, when I felt the urge to hurt myself, I tried to tell myself out of it. It didn't always work, but when I met you guys, I was already doing a bit better. Of course, being with you also helps a lot, and now, talking about it... it feels better than expected. I guess - I guess I still need help. It will take time, but I - I hope I will heal eventually."

He was done. He didn't know what his mates were thinking right now, but he had told them the truth. He had been nothing but truthful, and that felt fucking good. For the first time in three centuries of existence, he had shown someone his most vulnerable self.

"Thank you for telling us, baby brat." Akhenaton eventually said in a voice that was unexpectedly quiet. "You're so fucking strong, and I am proud of you."

"Me? Are you kidding? I am not strong. I'm weak."

"You are one of the strongest person I know" Ashur corrected him, his fingers now sliding through his hair. " It takes a lot of courage for someone to decide to heal. It takes a lot of courage for admitting a weakness - and all of us have weaknesses. I'm sorry you had to go through so much on your own, but we're here now. We can also help, if you let us."

"I wish you could see yourself the way we see you." Zephyr added. "So strong, and beautiful, and amazing."

Fayez nodded, feeling too agitated to give a verbal answer. Suddenly, he felt soft lips on his stomach. On the skin, barely noticable anymore, were old scars from all the times he had burnt himself with his hands. You had to look very closely, and to already know about their existence, to see them.

"Can I?" Zephyr whispered, his shiny blue eyes meeting with Fayez's.

"Yes."

The vampire kissed him again and again and again, his lips cooling down the feverish skin of his stomach. The kisses were light, each of them feeling like a balm to Fayez's heart. Zephyr kissed him until he started crying, unconsiously squeezing Akhenaton's hand in his, his face hidden in the crook of Ashur's shoulder.

He cried for so long that he eventually passed out in Ashur's arms.

When he woke up the next morning, the world looked brighter and softer.