"One must still have chaos in oneself to be able to give birth to a dancing star."

― Friedrich Nietzsche

"You're sure you don't want me to help you clean up?" Zephyr asked for the billion time through the bathroom's door.

"No, I don't" Fayez sighed, as he hastily dried his body with a soft towel and started putting a clean brief on. "Has Helmut arrived yet?" he asked, trying to soud casual about it.

"No, not yet." Zephyr responded. "Now, will you tell me why you asked the he- I mean, Helmut to come here? Why would you want him to be here during our date?"

"It's a surprise" Fayez lied with a grimace, before opening the bathroom's door and entering the hallway.

The other vampire was now sitting on the floor, with his chin resting on his fists. Although he gave Fayez his brightest smile, it was clear that he was exhausted, and that all his flirting was partly a way to maintain the appearances.

Why did Zephyr always seem to believe that his pain was too much of a burden for his mates to handle, when it was obvious that the three men would gladly spend their whole existence helping him, if it could somehow alleviate his sufferings?

"How about we lay down for a bit on the bed, while we wait for Helmut to arrive?" Fayez suggested, as he saw the smaller vampire wince in pain.

"Why, do I exhaust you that much, just by talking?" Zephyr tried to joke, before grabbing the helping hand Fayez was extending to him.

Fayez smiled politely, but the truth was, his mind was somewhere else.

What on Earth was Helmut doing? Did he really get his message? What if he didn't? After all, the man was always impossibly busy, you would believe he was running the goddamn place! Maybe he should have asked Nassiba instead.

"Do you sometimes miss your life at the castle?" Zephyr abruptly asked.

Fayez turned back to his mate and gave him a guilty smile. Right. They were supposed to be on a date, and right now Fayez was doing a very poor job at entertaining his mate.

"I sometimes think about my parents, but then again, you're the ones I want to be with the most." Fayez truthfully replied. "What about you? From the way you talked about them, I figured you're pretty close to your family."

"They are a lovely bunch. My parents are very old, so sometimes it's hard to understand each other, but I have a good relationship with them. I'm closer to my siblings, though, especially the youngest one, Lila."

"You're lucky to have such a loving family", Fayez commented, with a longing in his voice he was unaware of.

" I am." Zephyr agreed, before adding: "I miss them, but I have to admit I don't think about home very often. The three of you have become my whole world."

Fayez felt his cheeks start to burn at Zephyr's unexpectedly sweet words. The man was always blunt, and he was never afraid to tell his mind or remind his mates how much he loved them. Yet, Fayez was always shocked at being the receiver of such warm words.

His parents just weren't the kind to say "I love you" to their children, and they weren't huge fans of hugging and kissing either.

They might have been a bit warmer to his older siblings, though. Fayez didn't remember clearly, as his siblings were much older than him, and had already moved out of the castle by the time he was born.

Yeah, his brothers and sisters probably received more affection from their parents than he did. After all, for all he knew, they hadn't murder an innocent child. They must have been easier to love than he was. He couldn't blame his parents for not trying, though. He was the one always quiet and distant around them.

"Fayez?"

"Yes?" Fayez blinked twice, as he looked at his mate.

"We can report the date to another time, if you want. You seem a bit... out of it." Zephyr said, with a troubled expression.

Fayez bit the inside of his mouth to keep himself from blurting the truth about the true purpose of the date.

He had to do something. This wasn't going well right now. He couldn't have Zephyr getting impatient or worse, suspicious. What was Helmut doing, for fuck's sake! He was the one supposed to get the vampire temporarily unable to communicate with his mates via their mental link.

There was another way to achieve this, actually. Maybe he should try it. The problem was, it would greatly weaken his mate, so Fayez didn't want to be the one to do it.

"Faye?"

He had to do it. Fuck the initial plan. It was getting obvious that Helmut didn't get the message. It was now or never.

"Sorry, Zeph. I'm just feeling a bit unwell" Fayez pretended - but I don't want to report this date" he hastily added, as Zephyr frowned in concern.

"You're sure?"

"Certain"

"What should we do, then, sweet cheeks?"

"Can I - can I have a little of your blood?" Fayez asked with a slightly quivering voice. " It's the quickest way to get my energy back" he tried to explain, as Zephyr's eyes had widened at those words.

Shit. He felt like complete and utter shit. The worst part of this was, he had no doubt that Zephyr would willingly let him drink his blood, despite the fact that he already looked pretty ill himself and that it would endanger him even more.

"Of course you can, squirrel" Zephyr replied with a weak smile. "Anything to make you feel better."

"Thank you, Little Chipmunk" Fayez said, while internally feeling the urge to scream and rip his own skin.

He hated this. He hated all of this. Zephyr must probably thought that he was a selfish man, the worst mate on Earth for drinking his blood without caring about the effects it would have on his condition.

He wished he could have told his mate that he was only doing this so that Zephyr would be too weak to reach out for his mates. He was doing this because he believed it was his only chance at saving the love of his life.

Closing his eyes so that the little angel wouldn't see the emotions twirling in them, he leaned closer to his mate, and pressed his lips against the fragile skin of his neck.

Stop thinking and do it.

He gave him a brief, chaste kiss before breaking the creamy skin with his now elongated fangs.

It was the first time that he felt disgusted with himself for drinking his mate's blood - which had a divine taste. He wanted to vomit, but he couldn't. He had to keep drinking, because if he didn't drink enough blood, there was a chance that Zephyr would still be able to use telepathy and thus jeopardize the whole plan.

Zephyr was a powerful vampire, even when he was sick. Fayez couldn't take any chances.

"Faye?" asked a suddenly hesitant voice. "Erm, do you think you've had enough? I'm starting to feel a little dizzy."

"Just a little more, love" Fayez responded, his voice muffled against the way too cold skin.

How could he do that? How could he purposely harm his mate like this? He wished it was the last time of his life he brought pain to one of his mate, because he felt like his head was going to implode.

Why did he have to do that?

Whay couldn't there be another way?

He knew he had good reasons to do this, yet he had never hated himself more than he did at this moment, as Zephyr's blood ran into his own veins, making him feel stronger and more energized.

"Okay, I'm done now" he eventually declared, at the exact same time Zephyr rested his apparently too heavy head on his shoulder.

"That's fine, Faye. I think I'll just - I'll just sleep for a bit" Zephyr mumbled.

A mere seconds later, he was doing just that.

Now.

He delicately put Zephyr's head against the pillow, before removing his gloves.

I should tie him up, just in case he wakes up. God, I hate this. He will never trust me again, after that. That is, if I survive this, of course.

Once everything was prepared, he approached Zephyr's lying form and loomed over him.

You're running out of time. There isn't a second to loose. Stop hesitating so much. You won't get another chance. If you fuck this up, your mates will never leave you unsupervised again. They will never even let you alone with Zeph.

Taking a deep breath, he put his head in the middle of Zephyr's stomach, at the emplacement where, according to Ashur's book, the Bacteria Tarentula must be.

I can feel it.

It's moving.

It's... angry.

At first, it didn't feel too uncomfortable. Fayez just had a slight itchy sensation on his hands, but nothing he couldn't handle.

Zephyr seemed to be doing alright, too. From the look of it, he was sleeping rather peacefully.

So far so good.

It didn't last long. After a mere minutes, the itchy sensation turned into a slight burn.

Don't be a crybaby.

Bear it, for Zephyr.

Forget about your own sufferings. They don't matter.

It was only when a couple of fresh tears fell on his hands, that he realized he was crying. Even the light contact of the droplets of water with his naked hands felt like torture.

It hurts so much.

I can handle it. Besides, it's not like it's the first time I'm hurting.

My hands... they're roasting.

Not only my hands... the burning sensation is reaching my arms, now.

My shoulders.

My neck.

"Fayez?"

Shit.

Looking down at his mate, he gave him a small nod of reassurance.

"I'm fine, sweets. Everything's fine."

"Like hell, everything's fine" Zephyr protested feebly. "You look like shit and... why am I being tied up?"

Fayez supposed he didn't look at his best right now. It didn't matter. Zephyr already did look a bit better, so it must be working. It was all that mattered.

"Fayez" Zephyr suddenly realized, his voice betraying his growing horror. "What are you doing? You're not trying to - stop it."

"You know I can't do that." Fayez replied softly, before he involuntarily let out a grunt of pain.

He vaguely heard Zephyr curse, but he was too focused on the pain to think of another word of reassurance. Of another little white lie to comfort his mate.

Zephyr must have probably realized he was currently too weak to send a message to Ake and Ash through their mental link.

"Fayez, please stop it." Zephyr begged him. "Untie me now."

"Not until this fucking bacteria is dead." Fayez persisted.

Breathing was becoming difficult, but at least, he was starting to lose his senses, and to become less aware of the pain.

Dark spots were now dangling in front of his eyes, and he felt his whole body becoming wet with perspiration.

I should be glad. My hands are my curse, but at least, for once in my life, I can use this curse to do a good action.

I can never redeem myself for what I did to Anna, but I can still save my lover. I can still save another innocent creature, for Zephyr has a pure heart. If he lives, I can die in peace.

"Faye, it's not worth it. It's too dangerous. Ake and Ashur would never agree to let you do this. " Zephyr tried again, and to Fayez it seemed like he was on the verge of crying.

Fayez wanted to console him, but his hands seemed to be glued to Zephyr's stomach.

I feel like things are coming to an end.

"We'll find another way, I promise. Just stop. Right now. You're hurting yourself."

"That won't be... the first time." Fayez replied with great difficulty.

"What?"

What was he saying right now? He had no idea what he was saying, all he knew was that he had the feeling the moment he stopped talking, he would die in Zephyr's arms.

But he couldn't die. Not before his mate was fully healed. That's why he had to keep talking.

"I said.. it won't be the first time that I- that I hurted myself."

"What are you saying, squirrel?" Zephyr asked, his voice breaking.

"I am used to pain... it's nothing... my hands... I used them to inflict pain on myself but now... they're killing the bacteria. It's... a much better use."

"Fayez!"

"I'm so sorry, Zeph. I hope you can forgive me."

He opened his eyes to look at his mate one last time, before closing them for good. He couldn't open them again if he wanted to. He couldn't move anymore. Everything was becoming dark.

He wasn't scared of dying, though. He knew Zephyr would live. Ashur and Akhenaton wouldn't have to mourn his passing away.

He vaguely heard the sound of the door bursting open, and his name being shouted by distressed voices which sounded familiar. Then, he didn't hear anything anymore. The world had turned completely silent.

That was it. This was the end.